bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 75 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44904
 23.03.2011
Epic Feel watched today.
A girl with a guy.
Girl: "Why did you get stuck? Yes, I am immoral only because I am a fool!"
The girl just got into the hole, but what an effect!

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44903
 23.03.2011
X: There is such psychology.
X: removes from the spring handout state at a time
X: you wash the toilet, condemning him kind words... you are so good, you take all our bad things, then you take a chair, you sit on it, you put your feet in the toilet and judge which thread you press a button.
X: the first time you crack like an unusual
X: then the legs are refreshed and a pleasant lightness is formed.

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №44902
 23.03.2011
I wanted to write a line from the song, "I can't stand up without your hand...", but my perverted imagination revised this option and I was ashamed.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №44901
 23.03.2011
What's the point with me going to you if you don't want me?
He: I do not know
She: Well, I could come here to make the order...
She: for sex

[ + 122 - ] Comment quote №44900
 23.03.2011
I play a bristanteed, the grandmother comes in and says:"Go eat". I pause, I go to the kitchen, I don't find the promised, I return, and she is already sitting and playing in the pastion.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №44899
 23.03.2011
FoxMulder: I’m on the bus in the morning.The crowd, Monday, the nerves. And the driver naturally seeks to advance at speed. People are not happy "You are not lucky!"
Drunk on the back seat, raising his head "No, so wood"

[ + 80 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44898
 23.03.2011
British scientists have proven that pressing a cross in the upper right corner of this window speeds the writing of coursework and graduate papers by 57%.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44897
 23.03.2011
A good joke is laughed even by those who do not understand it.

[ + 141 - ] Comment quote №44896
 23.03.2011
A friend recently received several broken iPhone 3G (on spare parts).
At the customs decided to "warm his hands" in a naughty writing him a bill for expropriation, as for the new iPhone 4G.

Without saying a word, he went to the bank, paid, took witnesses and went to the customs.
There, giving the receipts and receiving the cargo, I was upset: "Where is my new 4G?“!”
The trial is going. You get a new 4G or compensation.

The lesson he taught was good – to note to those who receive and dismiss.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44895
 23.03.2011
Surrendered to spam, ordered a tool for penis enlargement for just $50. Those dogs sent me a lump!

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44894
 23.03.2011
Irina M: Yesterday to the scientific director went...
With Vaseline?
Irina M: Masha, we are psychologists: we slowly eat out the brain, generating a sense of guilt, rather than roughly break into the inner world with claims!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44893
 23.03.2011
I found online games for smokers.

waterland

For this game you will only need a pair of blades and binoculars. Draw the route to the sinking ship, slope on your feet, binoculars back (to reduce) to your eyes and advance to conquer the ocean pitches. If you have a large company of smoked in the sludge, then who knows what dangers fate will prepare you on the way to the treasure?

O_O

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №44892
 23.03.2011
Answers to Miley:

Question: Advice a very terrible Japanese horror

Answer #1: Include the news

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44891
 23.03.2011
Comments on the program "Very Accurate Weights" in the AppStore:

I got up on the iPhone and the screen crashed!!! The fucking! And my weight has not determined, these are deceit.! to
YYY: The best of what is in the appstore! We now weigh the whole family (including grandmother and younger sister) on these heroin weights so that the dose is OK, thanks to the developers!
zzz: Great program, put a member on the iPhone, first simply, and then with eggs! showed 1.5kg!to check the program cut off his her and weighed the usual weights!!It is 1.5 kg!!I am glad the program is accurate.No money is unfortunate, sadly free!Now the true wife is already beginning to realize that I lost and I too!Or measure but don’t check like I do!

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №44890
 23.03.2011
Ta-dam: In short, I am standing at the stop at the ZBI( a boy such a district) I am waiting for a bus, going from the depths of the parenek area, in an adidas jacket jeans keparer, with a sports bag, also stands the bus to wait. He comes in, we sit down. We go, we leave the district, we begin to get closer to the center, here the most interesting thing begins to happen)) he removes a jacket, a hat, jeans, as it turned out, into high naiki, gets a short shiny jacket out of the bag, glasses are healthy, wears a watch, and everything "man" cleansed into the bag))) I cried yours just))))

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44889
 23.03.2011
I read microbiology. Next to Mom (M)
I: Under optimal conditions, the bacteria divide every 20-40 minutes... well, no figure for yourself.
M: Do you think every 40 minutes children would come?
I’m: Yes I’m sick!! How fast is it, km.
M: I do not have to. Snooping, or it’s been here...

[ + 77 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44888
 23.03.2011
From the film discussion:
No to video piracy!! Download only licensed copies.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №44887
 23.03.2011
<unibreakfast:> Printed, put a cup with water. She fell on the side of the keyboard, but (!) The water didn’t get out of time – I grabbed it and put it back!
<limited: >...
<limited:> How did you do that?
<unibreakfast:> I didn’t understand...
<unibreakfast:> yaya pprbval again - now cast out ):
<limited: >...

[ + 90 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44886
 23.03.2011
During the trial of the military trial in the Putin case, Viktor Ilyukhin served as the chief prosecutor...He excavated the facts related to the deliberate destruction of our missiles, military and bases and the space station. And here he suddenly dies. You also think it’s entirely coincidental, right?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №44885
 23.03.2011
In Africa, divorce is known for money, the so-called "Nigerian Letters". Materials of Wikipedia.

My name is Bakare Tunde, I am the brother of the first Nigerian astronaut, Major of the Nigerian Air Force, Abaka Tunde. My brother became the first African cosmonaut to go on a secret mission to the Soviet station Salyat-6 in the distant 1979. Later, he took part in the flight of the Soviet Union T-16Z to the secret Soviet space station Salyat-8T. In 1990, when the USSR fell, he was on the station. All Russian crew members were able to return to the ground, but my brother did not have enough space on the ship. Since then until today, it has been forced to be in orbit, and only a few Progress cargo ships supply it. Nevertheless, my brother is not losing his spirit, but he is eager to return home, to his native Nigeria. Over the long years he spent in space, his gradually accumulating salary amounted to $15 million. Currently, this amount is stored in a bank in Lagos. If we get access to the money, we will be able to pay Roscosmos the required amount and arrange a flight to Earth for my brother. The amount requested by Roscosmos is $3 million. However, we need your help to get the amount, as we, Nigerian public servants, are prohibited from all transactions with foreign accounts. Forever yours, Dr. Bakare Tunde, the leading specialist in astronautics.

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