bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №156040
 23.03.2021
The yellow precipitation falls due to the stable and constant sleep in the sea. This point must be taken into account in the process of calculating pure sea salt.



The volume of water in the Black Sea is 555,000 cubic meters. by km. Or 5, 55 x 10^17 liters.

The volume of urine released by an adult person per day is an average of 1.5 liters.

That is, in order for the percentage of urine in the sea to be some significant value (say, 0, 1%), a person should suck in the sea for a day 4 x 10^13 degrees.

Population of the earth 7, 8 x 10^9.

That is, the entire population of the earth must continuously suck in the Black Sea for 10,000 days (27 years).



zzz: You underestimate the resorts))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156039
 23.03.2021
Called a taxi to work in the morning, in the comments indicated that it is not worth to go to the courtyard, because it is not to unfold and a hole at all. I go out and watch my car drive into the yard. Stopping near my entrance, I sit down, clarify that it is not necessary to unfold here because the hole - we will get stuck, give back. No is. With the words: "Don't sit down, now we'll turn around, I'm behind the lamb for 10 years!" The driver enters the hole and gets stuck there.

After 15 minutes we left in another car.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156038
 23.03.2021
The difference between steakflow and forums is colossal.



Imagine that you are not good at carpentry, but you needed to make a bookshelf. You decided to make it wood. Why did you need to connect, actually, the boards.

You’ve heard/read somewhere that boards can be connected with nails. However, how exactly this is done you do not know.



And here you went to stewardflow, and there someone has asked that.

And the most popular answer is: “A nail in a tree can be hit with a hammer. The nail must be held - yes, the hammer - yes, you must beat this way. “Don’t bite your finger.”

You do as it is written - and voila. The book box is ready.



At this time, another of you, from a parallel universe, came into the forum. And they wrote there: “Yes, I want to make a bookshelf. There are boards and nails. How should I be?”

Half of the answers may not even be read. There will be something like, “What fool are you?” How can you not know?!”

Another three or four wise men will write, “Here is a two thousand-page guide to the carpenter. Study »



Somewhere the fifth commentary will be without insults and indulgence. In it, a good guy will say to you, “Are you nailed? Take the screws. They are better.”

How to use the screws, of course, he will not specify. But another forumman will react to his comment, calling the lover of screws a ballbuster, because everyone knows that nails are much more convenient. After that, they will go with their heads into a personal mess about nails and screws.



The sixth comment will be about the fact that the wooden shelf is fine - and it is better to make metal. This opens up another useless discussion on the topic of wood vs metal.

The seventh is advertising. Where you will be advised to buy a ready-made shelf for a ridiculous price.

This comment will be deleted by the moderator.



The eighth commentator will advise you to put it on the shelf and make a bookcase. It is simply enough to have a set of boards, metal loops, glass doors, a set of cartridges, a screwdriver and another fifteen unfamiliar words. Here is Instruction. It is true in Finnish, but in the pictures it is clear.

This will be the most blatant comment.



The ninth guy will be the most responsive. He will advocate for you, reminding others that carpenters are not born. That is not worth calling, and all when they were newcomers. In other words, you have to be kind.

Not a word about the nails.



Finally the 10th. It is the most useful and it is the most useful. In it someone registered ten minutes ago will write that he himself faced a similar problem. He didn’t get the milk out, so he struck his nails with oatmeal. This is so. Picture in painting.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156037
 23.03.2021
Xxx: Everything you need to learn:

For just 1000 rubles she will have 100,500 professional photos from the studio.

- You write to all photographers and "photographers" that there are a lot of pissed bodies for posing and for just 3000 rubles you can fulfill your portfolio with studio photos.

You write in a photo studio that in just a day of free rental and 5,000 rubles about their studio will learn almost all the photographers of the city.

- you call the mentorship and say that for just 10,000 rubles you will give the address of the porn studio and the bordell in one bottle

- you call the local TV channel and say that for just 20,000 rubles you will give away the place and time where the mints will attack the protons.

- you call lawyers and say that for a small hashtag you will shed the place and time where a bunch of clients with cases that are not really to lose are sharply formed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №156036
 23.03.2021
Every theorist’s dream is to put his theory into practice. The desire of any practitioner is to stay away from these vicious theorists.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156035
 23.03.2021
Horses and Horses

I live alone, on a PMJ in the country, in a fairly deep suburb of Moscow, so it happened... I work remotely.

There are some retirees around, and those are mostly when there is no snow. And suddenly, last summer, a couple of apartments from me, a family with children (three) bought a house. They are also going to live on PMJ (which prompted them to this, a separate story, but still not mine, and it has nothing to do with the matter). I admit honestly - I was restrainedly happy, though some people around + Light and Lech (names changed) - approximately my age, will be at least someone to talk to.

When they arrived, he helped to pull large equipment into the house a couple of times. Then I was invited to the shelter. Then I had to unload the fuel for the boiler - called Lecha, he came, helped. Then I invited them all to the chess :)

In the summer we went fishing and for mushrooms together. and fun! I’ve always tried to keep a reasonable distance – they’re a family, anyway. I will call, I will come. I have my own business and entertainment. He did not refuse to help them, but he helped them a few times. That is idylly!

Last week, my sister asked me to take them with my husband to the airport. Long time not seen, and my beloved sister, in general, agreed. Giving us small, as they say, the earth will be filled with rumors :) I met Leha with Svetya on the street, they ask, can I not throw them to Moscow, since I am still going? They go to a family holiday, leave the car at home because of the upcoming flooding. It was so good that I went too. They are back in a taxi. It will be more fun on the road. But I immediately indicate: relatives are taken to the airport, leave strictly at 7 a.m. (since otherwise the risk of being late for departure). I say to them, "I open the gates at seven, you stand waiting for me, ready. Sit down and go. Okay?” They say, “No problem, wait until tomorrow.“”

The next day, at 7 in the morning, I open the door. There is no one. I call her, her phones are turned off. A small reserve of time was, I sat in the car, I approached their house - broke a couple of times - the windows are dark. Well, little... Time pushes me up. I go away.

In general, yesterday (two days have passed since the events described) they both stopped and arranged a scandal. I did not expect them. That I had to wait for them because they have children. They spent on a taxi. While waiting for a taxi, the kids were frozen. They were late for the party. I don’t want to pay for a taxi. To confess, I was so upset that I didn't even send them immediately, first stood and knocked my eyes for half a minute.

I sit here, I drink a cup, and I think it was.? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156034
 23.03.2021
"Yagmothers" usually have children from "apples"

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156033
 23.03.2021
Do you know where the crazy people come from? The last year with a small I live in the center of my beloved St. Petersburg in the old-fashioned house, and also on the second floor. Previously, cats were kept in the apartment and the sharp mouse was not a problem, but it was worth the apartment to stand a little empty, as the cat smell, apparently, went out, and the mice began to get in the warehouse.



After a day of panic, all the gaps were sealed, the traps with mouse glue dismantled. In the morning, a small mouse was found in one of the traps. She clung to a cardboard smashed with glue. To get rid of the uninvited guest faster, I took her in pyjamas to the washing room near the house. I put the trap in the garbage tank, but the mouse was sorry. She clinged, can't get free, and I decided to cut her stick from the cardboard.



Picture of oil. 9 o’clock in the morning, winter. A girl in pyjamas is forged with a stick in a garbage tank on the street. A heart-sick woman approached me and asked, “Girl, what are you doing?” To which I replied without thinking back, “I caught a mouse, look!”



And the woman ran, first in the whole slope, then just a quick step without turning. I then shouted, “I’m not crazy!”



Forgive me woman.

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