bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №98327
 23.05.2014
My husband polished.
He says: "You don’t get to last year..."
I said to him: "I did not understand?"
Answer: "The last year weighed 120 kg"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98326
 23.05.2014
Nothing warms the soul like a beautiful body.

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98325
 23.05.2014
“We will never be brothers.”

I had no choice. I was 4.5 years old when my brother came into the house. And I was voluntarily forced to love him. “He is younger than you!” Under his roar I learned to sleep fairly decently, so it didn’t bother me. disturbed another. At the age of three he scattered my model aircraft, which I collected for a few weeks. Then I ruined a lot. “Do not touch him! He is small!” I gave him the candy he gave me. The brother broke the chip and arranged hysterics if I did not share anything with him. I did little ugliness, then revelled and forever fled from my parents. “Take lessons with him, he’s younger than you!” And I did where to go. First his lessons, then his own. He went to the yard to protect him from other boys. “He is younger than you!” His mother covered him from his father. My father gave me pocket money and then asked me to share with the young. My protests pressed to the root. He is the younger brother!! to

It ended sadly. I was already in the second grade of the institute and stumbled on the young man at the moment when he walked into my pockets in search of a steppe. In the 1990s, my parents told me I had to survive for my scholarship. I lived, really dumb and hungry. In general, he found out the relationship with a mortuary, because of mortuary broke up with his parents and two months later left his parent's apartment.

I rarely see my parents. The brother did not learn how to earn money and still draws money from his ancestors. All around him are guilty, it is because of "them" he did not finish the institute, did not go to work, did not leave the bulgor and began to drink... And so - he is talented, white and hairy. In my pockets no longer is bread.

So sorry, but I look at relations with Ukraine from this family bell. Sometimes brothers need to get rid of the hallows. Even a morphing.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №98324
 23.05.2014
– Dad, let’s buy a shale!
- Buy, son, only that is called lavash.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98323
 23.05.2014
Anonymous answers to questions. What would you do if you woke up one morning as a woman?
111> I would walk naked in front of the mirror
222> I would jump and shake my breasts
333> I would have had sex with another girl
444> How you have everything primitive. There one recently woke up and won Eurovision.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98322
 23.05.2014
I went to get a DMS policy in Volgograd. They said that the insurance costs 50K rubles and the maximum insurance payments 40K rubles. And what is the meaning of this action and where the insurance could not explain O_o

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98321
 23.05.2014
here here :
I remember living in the community. Somewhere the joke saw: how much is 10 times a hundred grams?
If they answered a liter, I called people alkasha. Everyone said so, even the girls. But I will never forget how I asked the local alcanavt of Vitunyu, and he thoughtlessly answered the kilogram.That's how I broke the pattern and I realized that this test was foul and stopped asking everyone this question.
____________________________________________________________________
I work in school. Once I asked this question to all my colleagues for a long time, so all the teachers said that there will be a liter and only the guard of Seroj said that the kilogram (I swear!)))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98320
 23.05.2014
This is not an army, it is a fairy tale. Today we were transferred to a captain with the name Kruk. And as the typical ordinary Russian army believes, I managed to catch up and fly away from it for a long time) Peter Penn fuck!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98319
 23.05.2014
HH: I should meet you. When can you? Or don’t you know yet? Every day, except for p.
Mr. Jappel is heavy, so let’s go beyond it. We will decide on it.
See also: Blind
What a shit.
Tagged: day
WOW: What I taught my phone 😉
Oh yeah, and I thought, "Jopel" a very appropriate word here! I thought that was exactly what you wanted to say...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98318
 23.05.2014
Reserve: "Spring price" :)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №98317
 23.05.2014
“Dime, tell me, why do you want to fuck Lenka and I don’t?
“Well, Lenka is so fragile, so cute, so I want to protect her and fuck her. You are IRA.
You protect anyone and you fuck.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98316
 23.05.2014
From Driving:
Further, the inverter, independently captured from the honestly reduced from the work of the interruptor. We take the uninterruptor, button, relay, 12V fan from the comp, double socket, wire and blue insulator, we put all this in the bag and shake vigorously, at the output we get such a half-kilowatt inverter.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98315
 23.05.2014
The first day of the session, and the concentration of luzes has already approached hysterical.
Exam on Saturday.
Which one? OO
The OTCB.
What is it? O_O

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №98314
 23.05.2014
The citizen:
The Cultural Man:
Why the idiots? Completely adequate people. In contrast, from the nids, parking their fucking crows as they got. Or are you one of those idiots who are so upset?

The wrath is so righteous. Here is just one big question. and clarified. And why do they put their "foolishness" how did they get there? If it’s because they want it so much, though around a bunch of normal free parking spaces, then yes, I fully support the beams of diarrhea to their address.
------------
I’m not interested in why the bargain sells heroin – his daughter is sick, his mother, or he’s going to give money to an orphanage, or he wants to buy himself a pursuit – he has to sit in jail. I’m not interested in why the beetle puts his cars on the lawn – little parking, the command of the Lord or a banal shame – it shouldn’t be so. If you want a car but there is no parking – go and solve it yourself with your government before you buy it, it shouldn’t be a concern for a person who doesn’t have a car. Meanwhile, the cars will burn from time to time, reminding you that if you need parking - take care of it yourself.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98313
 23.05.2014
Early in the morning, he is still asleep. I walked into the kitchen from a deep bottom.
A cold cup of tea. behind the glass. I take a teaspoon, apply to the nose, throw my head...
On the ceiling is a leaflet, with the mark: "Speed into the glass, SUKA!!and "
I almost drowned. Since then, my throat has...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna