bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №158078
 23.05.2022
Old age is when nothing goes to mind. There is one boring path.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158077
 23.05.2022
The old story.

A spring inspection of the officer. In the fire control cabin on the layout of the terrain sweat I do not remember already, it seems, the captain, the commander of the battery. One task failed shamefully. Started the shooting from a short flight at the close location of the positions of "our and unhappy". But for some reason he liked General Gamov, from the district. And he decided to give him a rescue circle:

Captain, the enemy division opened fire on your battery. But you have everything: their coordinates and any ammunition, as much as you want. Your actions? You have already been caught in the wreck. They cover now.

The captain in the cabin of the orchestral glass propelled through the helmet. But he was educated in school and knows that only a regiment can suppress the fire of the division. He has a battery. The captain, reddened by tension, beggingly looks at the half-can, but he, knowing the solution, only licked. Gamow repeats with emphasis:

You have all the ammunition and a lot of it. The weather is windless!

The boarding face of the captain in the helmet is illuminated by a spark of guess. And he, pressing the barrel with his left hand, and waving in tact to each word of his right, begins to mourn on the whole class. It is heard directly, not through dynamics:

- 77 - Third, a super-caliber nuclear shell ХХХ.7ХХ, a special charge. Primary target yyy, main direction, left ZZZ...

In the classroom, besides the officers, I am a sergeant behind the machine guns, and two soldiers from the garment on mailings.

Gates cannot withstand:

Stop and shut up. Go out of the cabin! Naked from the field! You will go to court and I will go to the tundra.
That is th. The captain was ready to start a nuclear war because of the next title burning with a bright flame.

by PS. Who is interested in the correct solution of the task. The captain had to deploy two guns on each of the three batteries and with a fleeting fire, almost without targeting, to smoke their positions with smoke shells, blind them, so that they and their landmarks (induction points) and spare (colimators) could not see. The weather is windless, smoke falls on the carpet. Immediately remove from the fire position.

I told Ost.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158076
 23.05.2022
No matter how McDonald’s will now be called, the main thing is that the toilets will open again!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №158075
 23.05.2022
Back home after work, I heard a part of the beautiful conversation between a man and a woman:



M: So you really prefer rubber?

J : Yes.

M: How do we talk? Shed the soul?! to

That’s why I have Alice.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №158074
 23.05.2022
The story of a casual accompanyer.

I divorced my wife.

What happened?

Because of a friend everything. My friend was a traitor.

I went to work with the nurse. She decided to travel to Turkey for two weeks. He told his wife that he was on a trip to Peter. A friend asked me to look after the business while I was in Turkey. And he accidentally struck my wife that I was not in Peter, but in Turkey. They divorced.

So you are not at all guilty? A friend is a traitor? The trouble.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158073
 23.05.2022
My 7 year old daughter had a milk tooth. And of course, at night the tooth fairy brought a gift under the pillow - a new sketchbook. The girl is delighted, she runs to show everyone.

My grandfather (55 years old)

“Dad, look what the tooth fairy brought me!

Oh how great.

Did you have a dentist when you were a child?

“No, grandson, I didn’t come here for any reason. One day, I had a horse's mouthpiece, so I lost half of my milk teeth.

My daughter thought.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t come? I couldn’t get it all together.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №158072
 23.05.2022
What can ruin any movie?⁠



Poorly developed motivation and intelligence of the characters; for example, it is illogical when an astrobiologist removes protective equipment on a foreign planet. A real astrobiologist would not do what it is absolutely impossible to do. And in the movie did, and now the whole team is infected. But it was just a lazy way for the scriptwriter to get from point "a" to point "b".



Weak communication between the characters; when the connection or resolution of a conflict depends on the fact that the characters illegally decide to hide information from each other because "there is no time" or "I will explain when we get there." Again the scriptor.



The older I get, the more I get angry when I notice the scriptor’s lazy manifestations in the film’s story.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №158071
 23.05.2022
Yes, it is expected.

If the virus came from China, they ate something unknown.

If the virus from Europe - what the unknown fucking.

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