bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102042
 23.08.2014
The murderer of Lennon for the eighth time refused conditional release

Take your lifetime, and then we will see.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102041
 23.08.2014
In the material "In Siberia, a drunk driver was riding on a stolen car bomb and goose" it was erroneously stated that the incident occurred in the Urals. In fact, the Kemerovo region is located in the southeast of Western Siberia.

Lenta.ru apologizes to its readers

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102040
 23.08.2014
Conversation between (m)atri, (d)cheri 7 years old, and a young son:

M: son, stop hanging in the pants, or you will not be taken to the kindergarten, and you will sit at home, like an old grandfather on retirement.
D: Did you understand? You’ll be fucking retired.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102039
 23.08.2014
Friend (P) is a divorced photographer-introvert.
(P) Lammur-tuzhur, charme and other flirting is difficult to get out of me. Probably I am single.

Well, if you had married for a long time, you’re positive, without a w/p and with a h/y!

(P) I am bored, on such a characteristic trait how bad defks are conducted. And where to get them?
But... How do you think, can you try to go to Stas Mikhailov’s concert?

There will be unconditional goods.
No, it’s too early for sex.

(P) and ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102038
 23.08.2014
Moralists and vice versa. Why not try to find the golden middle in matters of physiological education? The body is given to us by nature as it is.
their own needs. But the idea of how it should be begins with parents. If mom and dad don’t be ashamed to kiss their kids instead of scandalously beating each other’s cheeks, what could be more than love? And I mean kissing, not kicking each other around.
If teenagers at the right time learn what pollution and menstruation are from their parents, and are not tormented by this question themselves, and parents are wise enough not to oppress children for onanism and not to give them medieval theories on this subject, then there will be no unnecessary complexes. But putting your breasts on the internet or copying the behavior of the poor from "House..." – you understand.
Can we start at least from this?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102037
 23.08.2014
Korean: I am not dancing.
I have convulsions.
Rapida: this is called "abstep"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102036
 23.08.2014
We talked with the girl about food, we talked about soups. She deliberately says, “Do you know of any Jewish soup?” Except for water.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102035
 23.08.2014
I want to crack and cry. Such a game, such a hope. I remember with tremors the first and as I played the second with Matti. What is a camel shit? The development of the path to the exit ordered this clearly!

The Escape! Mlyn
= is
Is that what surprised you?
And what does he "will" do?
And "will" he "break and cry"?
And for all this thing "developers" the way to... khm... ordered? Chel clearly does not enter the meaning of the expression "The way is ordered"...
It seems, along with the "grammar-nazi", it is time to introduce other categories - some "Style-gestapo", for example. I\or "Punktuation and folklore"...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102034
 23.08.2014
Review of Sennheiser HD 25-1-II

Advantages: Light, very good sound insulation, good sound.
Disadvantages: They resemble the standard headphones from the army radio station.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №102033
 23.08.2014
I will share the secret of fishing. Take a mechanical alarm and hammer on a long handle. Come out at noon and make a wake-up call. The fish goes out to see what happened and at this moment it has to be stifled with a hammer.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102032
 23.08.2014
The Deputy:
Don’t talk about the sea in Belarus!
It’s a network joke that was quoted on the First Channel (even saying it’s a joke!) is
– – – – –
No, my dear, it won’t be so. It is easy to prove that someone has done or said something. But to prove that someone did not say this is much harder. And if the people believed it all, write is gone. No matter how much evidence you gather, everybody will think that Galileo said his famous words before the Inquisitioners, Saleri poisoned Mozart, and Psaki said about the sea in Belarus.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102031
 23.08.2014
I went to work in the night shift for the first time after a short vacation. In the morning, my colleague heartily congratulated me on the wedding with a modest present. While I was driving home, I was glad that in some centuries I took from work something other than depression and hellish lack of sleep.
The first question of my husband, with a disbelief looking at how pleased I get out of my bag a bottle of wine and a pack of candy:
Were you really at work?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102030
 23.08.2014
You will call the couch to repair, so you are fools to repair it and come.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102029
 23.08.2014
Yatsenyuk: - Earlier, the Mongolian Tatars attacked Kiev Rus, and now the Russians on Kamaz with humanitarian aid.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102028
 23.08.2014
Yesterday I accidentally heard a part of the conversation... judging by all a certain salehard businessman and his counterfeit So one phrase just delighted me, because it reflected all of our type of business Comrade businessman loudly said: "What you are doing, because it is your money, not the budget."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102027
 23.08.2014
XX: I have a young fan, of course, I do not feel old at 33, but still.

XX: Writing “King Selfies”

XX: Thank you to my 13-year-old daughter for explaining what to throw in.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102026
 23.08.2014
Today, coming home from work, I passed by three men in the hollow. The picture is typical: two try to at least stand upright, the third unclearly rubs their philosophy. I quote the listener:
The Lord! I have always said and will always say that life is complicated. But now you and I jumped and she got a little easier.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102025
 23.08.2014
The Pentagon is dissatisfied with the sending of Russian humanitarian aid and asks for it to be returned.
Russia is dissatisfied with Columbus’s actions and asks for everything back.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102024
 23.08.2014
Who wrote this:

Have you done repairs for several years?
Draw the flag of Ukraine on the wall - and in an hour you will not know your entrance!

= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is

From the news:
Moscow workers, accidentally wrongly painted the support of the LED in the colors of Ukraine, found themselves in the police

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102023
 23.08.2014
to this:
I like a very girl. But what is embarrassing is that in her kitchen I counted 17 knives. Everyone and different. And she does everything with different knives. He says he is a doctor. I am scared to clarify, and getting married is even worse!

And in vain! So she spends a lot of time in the kitchen and knows how to cook.
I also like a separate knife for cheese and for bread, for example. And all the other cooking stuff.)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna