bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42168
 24.01.2011
Where can you sit in order not to get into the cat's wool?
In the corner.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №42167
 24.01.2011
I want to go back to my 12 year old.
Oh shit, put in the puzzle!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42166
 24.01.2011
In the house of grandmother (B) with grandfather (D).
B: He can’t even cook the cabbage himself!
B: I’d better take you.
B: Behold, he says he will sweat me!
D: Not for you! Better than you!

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №42165
 24.01.2011
The child died. A philosophical man:
I can’t do without blueberries, believe me.
Are you talking like a blue man?

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42164
 24.01.2011
with LORA, discussing global blocking in multi-stream environments:

xxx: Who can explain: how and what are these blockages affecting?

Yyy: Imagine you’re going to a store, a big supermarket, where there are 20 cash outlets. You have picked up the fullest car of sacrifice, for a year ahead, joyfully you go out, to the box office, and you observe this picture: at the same time, out of 20 box office, out of 20 cashiers sitting on them, only one customer serves, because the shop system does not allow several cashiers to work at once, that is. 1 works, 19 sit and smile, wait when their turn comes, as soon as the one that worked ends the processing of the client, access is given to the arbitrary of the 19 that waited, now she works with the client, and the rest wait and smile to the buyers (who no longer especially smile).
This is the global blockade.

zzz: You have accurately described "Five" nearby :)

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №42163
 24.01.2011
XXX: What a wonderful tradition.
XXX: Killing when a girl leaves you
Not alone but with a friend.
It’s almost like a birthday!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №42162
 24.01.2011
Google’s voice search only searches for photos of the bike at sunset.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42161
 24.01.2011
I bought a bowl of coca "Red Bull". I read the composition: mustard seeds, pineapple, cinnamon...

Are they preparing rocket fuel there?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №42160
 24.01.2011
And in Vietnamese Russia is called "Ne". We are a coffee country :)
How do their cats cuddle?
“Rra – Si – I!”

[ + 117 - ] Comment quote №42159
 24.01.2011
During the time I went home-2 I managed to:
to meet his wife;
She gave birth to me two (the son will be 5 years old in April);
divorced from his wife;
I met the other;
married a second time;
We have a daughter who is 2 years old.
What, fucking, are they doing all that?? to

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42158
 24.01.2011
In my opinion, a great action would be: everyone who invested money in MMM-2011 a ticket for the "Best Movie 3D" as a gift!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №42157
 24.01.2011
We have such a being that you lose consciousness from it.

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №42156
 24.01.2011
It was in the early 1990s in Estonia. There just started to go proudly out on the people of Eses deficits. One of them came to a local hotel and said, naturally in Estonian:
I would like to order from you the uniform of the Estonian SS Legion. If you are
Don’t do it, at least a monster.
And extends to the customer, also an Estonian, a photo, on which a young guy in the shape of the SS smiles. She says:
"Sorry, but to make a military uniform on a photo is difficult, I'm better.
I will talk to our director of the studio. She may help.
He goes up to the second floor, and there in his office sits the manager.
Russian and a war veteran. The receptionist explains her problem, and after thinking a little, sends her back to the hall, saying that now she will go out to the client. She was delighted and passed her words to the Eses. And the head of the studio just wanted to renew her women's jacket, which was decorated with her orders and medals for the Great.
The Patriotic War. So she, wearing it, and with all the rewards went out to the Esses. Polite to say:
“Don’t worry, uniform of the Estonian SS Legion, we will shave you, I will go to war.
She served as a sniper, so I saw your uniforms very often.
Maybe she wanted to say something else, but the Estonian grabbed his old photo and ran out of the studio.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42155
 24.01.2011
In the store: Buyer (1); Seller (2)
Do you have iodized salt?
2 : Yes. You what? With or without iodine?
1) It doesn’t matter to me.
2) We do not have iodine. Take the simple.
1) Let’s make it simple.


[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №42154
 24.01.2011
I went to Venice with a group. We go with the girls to the square. A living statue. One of the girls runs to the statue and says, "Girls, look at what a dick, let's take a shot with him, with the certainty that he will not understand. And he is in pure Russian: "Hello girls".

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №42153
 24.01.2011
Cardiatti: And still burning inscriptions about pregnancy on the packs of Prim... Immediately I imagine such a drunken spatula on a deaf station somewhere beneath Vologda... Sitting on a cigarette, getting a packet and such "Opp-pa nihuyasse"

[ + 90 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42152
 24.01.2011
Peter is polite. They even give out bribes. Cultural Capital, Intelligent People

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №42151
 24.01.2011
From the task for the first course of Physical F-T MSU:
The gun, lying on a smooth table, suddenly shot..."

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №42150
 24.01.2011
The president is sick. The mausoleum is slowly released.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №42149
 24.01.2011
Have you checked my mail?
and yes!
Did he throw it all out?
and yes!
Who are you after that?
The spam filter.

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