bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №73365
 24.11.2012
<Guest_96>Lex when you tell a lie you make special particles
<Guest_96> Toughened Lines

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №73364
 24.11.2012
In the laboratory:
I have a perfect diode broken in the simulation!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №73363
 24.11.2012
- You are a desperate guy, however, in the basement without an oxygen mask.On the extremity, take at least a canary in a cage with you as an indicator of enough oxygen in the air.
What will the Canary say "All of you go out to me!"?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №73362
 24.11.2012
XXX: I have a story here.
YYY :?
XXX: I couldn’t get out of the table for 5 minutes
Imagine going from the kitchen to my room to turn on the imperial march. I approach, turn on, add volume, look into the window, and on the first chords past my window a person slowly begins to descend) I on him o_0, he on me 0_0, then we start roasting both, because the music he also hears) rjem and he slowly descends further) 15th floor, fuck) well that I didn't drink)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73361
 24.11.2012
There was a senya in the niche, and at the issuance of someone long order composed. The client has already begun to quietly upset, and the guys on extradition:
Here’s your stuff, sorry for waiting so long, but it’s not our fault.
The client (unclearly burch under the nose):.... longchopzddc....
Depository 2 (joyfully singing): if long-long-дооолго... it means a couple of youths!

[ + 71 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73360
 24.11.2012
XXX: It’s been two years since I removed the twin.
YYY: Who else, besides me, read the two words wrong?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №73359
 24.11.2012
Doctors now have tough times, when patients have watched all the seasons of Doctor House and bear the hustle.
c) Thugz

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №73358
 24.11.2012
The news:
On November 14, a truck carrying copies of Assassin's Creed 3 [PC] was stolen for gaming stores in Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg.

The commentary:
Playing Pirate Games! Need a truck game! This is real piracy.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73357
 24.11.2012
From the discussion news on 4pda

CCHC
Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone.
The next day he was called by Chuck Norris and Bell invented the Megaphone, MTS and Beeline!

Yakuza
Chuck Norris first called Bell, then Bell invented the phone.

ch ch ch
There was nothing wrong, this is how it was:
Chuck brought the phone to Bella and then called him on his cell phone.

Ssss
When Bell invented the phone, he had three misses from Chuck.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №73356
 24.11.2012
Revrok: Before the gamer dies, his heirs gather near the dying man's bed and wait for the anger to fall out of him.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №73355
 24.11.2012
How to understand the blocking of websites on the Internet, while leaving broadcasts of Andrey Malakhov and news on NTV?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №73354
 24.11.2012
9 year old son decided to sit on a diet, to limit hand and sweet.The whole day held, eaten soup, the second.In the night turned off the light and slept with my husband to sleep, suddenly in the kitchen wild thunderstorms, we jump on the light, the son stands in one hand mantle in another roulette.I-????? Son, sad: to understand and to forgive.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73353
 24.11.2012
hč: there next to the sign "wallpaper"
nn: not "the wallpaper", but "both"
Tagged with: shop "Saratovsky both"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73352
 24.11.2012
from JJ:

It seems to me that the loving and tender expectation of the Armageddon, which we observe around us, arises naturally from the worsening infantilization of the population... No one, like the gritz, wants to decide anything, everyone wants a dress.

And the zombie apocalypse, or something like that, is almost like the beginning of a long journey. Nothing depends on you, the people around are mostly unfamiliar, whom you see in the first and last... And everyone is busy with their own things and survival, nobody looks at whether you behave there or do not behave.

And your plans, ambitions and other heresy are not you-the loser abandoned, but globally, everything was ruined... Beauty! Here it is, free.

[ + 50 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73351
 24.11.2012
Most rape in this country is committed by a hool, also hool represents a threat to public morality, law and garden plants (grasses), and therefore, the presence of an individual is a potential threat to society. In this regard, I propose:
1st Recognize the fox as a potential threat to society.
2nd Obligate owners to register it in the bodies of the Ministry of Internal Affairs at the place of residence.
Three Polyclinics on the ground to introduce a mandatory check on the sexual maturity of the carrier, according to the results of the check to issue orders for registration.
4 is Obligate registered owners of houses to report to the premises for each (incl. and the use of the fox.
5 is Strictly regulate the rules of use and storage of the hook, for non-compliance with the rules - to punish, up to the withdrawal of the hook from the owner.
6 is Limitation of size for civilian use. Also develop a police, army and mass destruction variant. Citizens whose size exceeds the civil norm will be obliged to voluntarily bring the hut into conformity at the police department at the place of official registration.
7 is Launch a large-scale campaign to hand over unused or homeless whores to police for reward.
I think this law will be more useful than many recently adopted.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73350
 24.11.2012
The administration of Il's prison, where Anders Breivik serves a 21-year sentence, made concessions after he filed a complaint with the country's correctional agencies.

The list of all complaints of the Norwegian "prisoner number 1" has taken up 27 pages. Among other things, the killer, who claimed 77 lives, complained about cold coffee, lack of butter, lack of moisturizer, cold and lack of communication.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73349
 24.11.2012
"Kareem_1
This is for those who are not lucky with their partner, the stones are controlled sounds ;)"
You won't believe - the control authorities in the form of children and teens stones blow to the root:))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73348
 24.11.2012
In clear winter nights, when the water vapour content in the air is insignificant, the greenhouse effect ceases to act; heat goes straight into space. The temperature in the ground layer can fall by 5-10 degrees.

Q: And how does the Sun manage to heat the Earth in such conditions?

z: The earth is heated by friction around the atmosphere during rotation. The sun only illuminates this disgrace.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73347
 24.11.2012
The night. I worked a taxi for 12 hours, bought beer in the courtyard, two wandering bodies approached the car.
The dialogue:
You know Ozzy Osbourne.
Yes Yes
Let us sing!

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №73346
 24.11.2012
Katofeic: I come out of the store here, and my big tipper is rubbing and so unobtrusively the code is tapping on the lock of the truss. I am not in a hurry to approach him, gently piercing his handle and politely so interested: "Help?" He for some reason refused to help and so boldly seeded the walk of geisha holding his hands for his ass.

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