bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №151840
 24.02.2019
I filmed for a while a garage near the substance base, in the common people - a trunk. And despite the signs indicating a ban on entering the territory of the cooperative, the people were very happy to cut their way by 30 meters and get as close as possible.



My garage was on the front. The fifth is from the hole in the fence through which the human path went. And on the weekend there were always smaller ones who put their cages there. Spring, autumn, summer is not a trouble, put near the mouthpiece in front of the garage, space between the garages and the garage gates is enough even for two cars to leave. In the winter trouble. All the snow fell from the cleaning roads and occupied the "parking". Accordingly, the fools began to take seats at the gate. Especially the cleaners.



And here one Saturday morning, I come with the thoughts of the beautiful, the hope of the warmth of the bourgeoisie and the full luggage of the tool. And in front of my door there is some sort of laundry on the site that I loved yesterday for two hours.



I began to look in the hope that even if the greeting room was left under the glass, Ann didn’t. But here I notice (although it may seem, but it is not certain) that smoke flows from under the front panel, gray, thick, straight as if the wire is burning.



In my head was drawn a scenario of the development of events, how it would burst out, how the fire guard could not get up because of other basar idiots, how the flame would spread to my garage and how my property would literally heat up to the heavens.



We had to act quickly! I open the garage, in turmoil forgetting to put the gate on the limitator, I grab the fire extinguisher powder 4 kg and quickly proceed to eliminate the fire. The fire extinguisher is planted the nearest window of the "burner" and with addiction I fill the salon with a white cloud of powder. Since I am a responsible person and always try to do the work carefully, I have donated all 4 kg to prevent the disaster.



As my moral stocks of extinguishing drugs were coming to an end, I call a fire calculation to control the facility in order to prevent re-incendies.



To my surprise, the firefighters arrived very quickly. They looked at the "burner", listened to my interesting story and called the police. Only not for my soul, but in order to find a owner who does not monitor the state of the on-board electricity network of his car.



Mentions have arrived. Hearing about the events, they began to establish the owner of the car. It is at this point that the “victim” comes.



To say he was surprised is to say nothing. In a moment of emotional shock, he even tried to blame me for wrongdoing, but was quickly besieged by firefighters who not only expressed their approval of me, but also praised for the quick response and the correct civic stance!



This story was supposed to be finished, but the wind blow sharply pulled the gate that I forgot to fix and it joyfully arrives on board the car with a snow-white cabin. The door left its deep mark on the back door. And then, the owner of the multi-suffering decided that at least now he could bite me, let's not much but still hurt me. He begins to make noise and engage police officers. How naive he was! Well, what sensible person will make the mint work? It is more expensive! But he probably didn’t know about it. The menus, in turn, worked just great! They compiled a report on the arrival door, took explanations from me, accepted a statement from the victim and then, on the basis of this statement, issued a fine to the victim for passing under the sign 3.2 "Movement is prohibited". I then came to the garage, I have a rental contract, but the applicant did not have any documents confirming the right to enter under the sign.



Regarding the damage to the car, later during the consideration of the application, he was explained that he was wrong and advised to take the application. And at least then he listened to the advice and did the right thing.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №151839
 24.02.2019
That, fucking, the door of the refrigerator in the store to open, and you power can fuck?! Sorry for my French.

yyy: I recently had a case in the city - a girl went to the shower after the workouts and she was hit by the current from the crane. They disappointed. The administration was aware of the problem for several weeks.

That’s why I don’t go to the gym, not because I’m lazy.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №151838
 24.02.2019
A man is better than others think of him, but worse than he thinks of himself.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №151837
 24.02.2019
One girl told me:
In the morning when I left the courtyard. The rear wheels in the hole, the front wheels slide on the ice. A jeep is in my back. I blinked pharaoh. I cuddle in place. A healthy man came out of the jeep. I thought I would fight. And he stuck in the trunk of my car, I didn’t even have time to turn on the transmission, as I pushed out my car. A good man! The real!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №151836
 24.02.2019
Freedom is not when you can tell the truth, but when you do not need to lie.

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