I watched some Garfield comics here, and got one where Garfield sits in the cinema, and the man in front of him in T-shirts with the inscription "I love Elvis."
And in the translation, as strange as it is, there is a wonderful inscription on the same forehead:

"They are still alive"

The appearance of a girl promotes personal hygiene

One day, my husband and I went to Eldorado, choosing a tea bar. Here he notices a stand with electric toothbrushes. The look stops at one of them. The price is 4500. The first thought: "THE WITHOUT!!!And then the look goes further and falls on the name of this brush - OXUJET.
This is the right name: DDD.

It may be useful to anyone.
When I go to the toilet at night, I only turn on the lights so that no one is awakened. Due to the coloring of the retinal pigment when exposed to it light, leaving the toilet, I lose for a while the ability to see in a poorly illuminated room => difficult to get to bed.
I solved this problem by closing one eye when entering the toilet. Thus, one eye becomes illuminated and the other remains adapted to the darkness.

The story was told by a pencil collector with 40 years of experience, in whose collection 7 thousand copies.

A production meeting was held at the pencil factory under Soviet power. One rationaliser suggested saving a expensive pencil griffle and leaving 5 centimeters of pencil wooden - no one still writes to the end. The rationalist received a prize.

After some time, another rationalizer proposed to cut off the extra wooden centimeters - there is no griffle anyway. He was also supported...

c) The Wikipedia

The question in the scanword: "And... with him". Word of three letters.

The correct answer is not appropriate. 0 - O

XXX: Here the boys told me how "tequando" translates...
WOW: And how then?
XXX: Take one door. O_O

Max (16:53:23) Let’s work
DeMon (16:54:24) do not want to
Max (16:54:34) has this word
DeMon (16:54:48) is a word to put
Max (16:55:02) has this word to dismiss
DeMon (16:55:13) is such a word
Max (16:55:25) there is such a word without a bubble
DeMon (16:55:59) I will go to work

We live in an interesting country. On November 22, protests took place in the Far East against increased tariffs on car imports and artificial prices for gasoline. In Vladivostok alone, about 10,000 participants gathered. In Petropavlovsk the demonstration was dismantled by OMON, the organizers were detained by the police. Have you heard about it in the news? All central channels were silent about this unpleasant situation. Instead, they talked about a Belarusian girl-illegal in the United States. We live in an interesting country.

Have a good night, beautiful
She: Well, to beauty I am far away, and time is still childish.
He said, “Then be careful, monster!

I suspected that the names of our pop bands are randomly given, but so to name the group and the series, the idols of little girls:

"Ranetka — the girl who lost her virginity early (in criminal jargon)" (c)Wikipedia
elffm

My relatives came from Tyumen, they were not with us for 15 years. When they were last, I was 6 years old and walked under the table. So, brought me a toy machine and a kidney surprise as a gift.

“Great trips are overshadowed by small dream interpreters.”

The real story. My acquaintance Lena married in Korea. and immediately started

Teach your husband Russian. In Korea, it is common to cheat with words.

"Combe" what does it mean to drink!! Or for health! Lena decided to stick.

and explained that in Russia the usual toast ""fuck!!! Naturally as a man.

All the Koreans acted responsibly and remembered this word... and he worked in the

A managing director decided to send him to China.

As a wedding gift, so that you don’t get bored.

I decided to go with my wife to China for a celebration.

At the opening of the office, a solemn dinner was held.

Russian partners were also invited.

The hero speaks a long speech. He raises a glass of champagne.

Addressing his Russian partners in pure Russian, he said:

Dear friends! And now fucking!!! to

The rush was incredible!! The Russians couldn’t get back from laughter.

40 minutes of time!! to

Not my own, from KVN.

Writer Volkov distorted the plot “The Wizard of the Emerald City”. in itself

The case Ellie first got to the mac field and only then met.

The speaking lion, the living horror, and the iron wool.

Any reminder of the crisis evokes in my memory an old Soviet-Deputy joke: Brezhnev tells Reagan the history of the USSR civil war, collectivization, industrialization, VOV, corn... Reagan, after listening carefully, asks: “And you haven’t tried them?”

P.S Children, if you do not know the surnames of Brejni and Reagan, as well as the word "dust", you should not put a minus quote or pretend to have understood. Just forget

Down the pattern! Learn as you should:

I went to the theatre yesterday. A man comes out and says, “A revisor is coming to us!” The curtain.

Oil painting: Sunflower, Van Gogh

Yesterday I was sitting all day at the reporting job. I thought a lot.

Yesterday my wife cut on the onion in the kitchen. I am crying.

Yesterday, the horse brought an unattended horse. He says: "Where to put it?". And wild roast on the whole stall.

One day, a bandit runs into the bank, drops a gun on us and says, “This is a robbery!” Then the bed.

Yesterday on TV showed the leader of the laughing panorama lying on the beach. Peterson is resting.

Where do people send funny quotes?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

he is so boring that even in the list of money expenditures he has a count "for spending" >__<