bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121047
 25.11.2015
Neither Aristotle nor Thomas Aquinas nor Karl Popper opposed Plato as consistently as our long-haulers do.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121046
 25.11.2015
The warming effect of alcohol is a dumb deception of heat receptors. The body, believing it is hot, begins to actively cool even more.

WOW: Do not mislead people, please, in the cold, the vessels that close to the surface of the body begin to narrow, all the heat goes to the internal organs, important for life. Alcohol also has a vasodilating effect, yes, you will be more comfortable when you drink and the limbs and face will become the body, but the internal body temperature will sink sharply.

Zzz: Hey, hot Finnish guys, stop fighting! You say the same thing with different words. I can tell others: whoever drinks vodka in a swallow will die happier in a dream.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121045
 25.11.2015
christa_eselin: Under our beds there were banks of spaghetti and homemade wine all the way, so that all my monsters were full, drunk and didn’t touch anyone.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121044
 25.11.2015
Summary of Testing

I’m ideal for the QA position because I’m physically much stronger than the average programmer. This is my advantage in any dispute :-)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121043
 25.11.2015
New advertising slogan for the car:

by Lada Vesta. To whom the goat is a bride.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121042
 25.11.2015
Plans for holidays:
1st Egypt is closed
2nd Crimea (written with the tag "dark shit")
Three Turkey is closed
Stay at home and don’t fuck up.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121041
 25.11.2015
I live in a suburb, I go to work on an electric car, which is even cooler than the Internet in terms of the concentration of distinguished specialists.

The main topic today is aviation. Everyone knows how to shoot down planes. Aunt of the Middle Ages (very flammable): “Yes, the F16 generally flies badly, it is salt on the tail and it will collapse!”

Probably, you should have asked what salt to take - simple or iodized.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №121040
 25.11.2015
The heating effect of alcohol is a dumb deception of heat receptors. The body, believing it is hot, begins to actively cool even more.* is

Do not mislead people, please, in the cold, the vessels that close to the surface of the body begin to narrow, all the heat goes to the internal organs, important for life. You may be a completely shaking creature, but the temperature within your body will be stable at 36.6 degrees, and your arms and legs at 15 degrees. Alcohol also has a vasodilating effect, yes, you will be more comfortable when you drink and the limbs and face will become the body, but the internal body temperature will sink sharply.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121039
 25.11.2015
The only thing that saved our newly born relationships was that I had a fun of shooting myself in the mirror in full height and there was a date.

You will constantly prove that you are late from work for five minutes because the bus is late, not because you are running to your lover.


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121038
 25.11.2015
Russian patriots are wiping off the Turkish war.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121037
 25.11.2015
by Alexei:
I was very uncomfortable now.
I cooked olives. I evaluate the ratio of potatoes, carrots and eggs boiling next to them and I breath out loudly:"I have some small eggs..."
From the next room:"What is it?"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121036
 25.11.2015
Somehow, at first, unobsessively, I began to smell the smell of corpse rot. At first, the smell seemed to be tiny, in completely different situations. It smelled dead and everything was clean air. After the smell began to appear more often, especially in the car, at work and in bed. I started choking, asking my wife to smell my breath and the general body smell — she seemed to feel nothing. Then the most terrible thoughts came to mind - ghost smells are a symptom of a brain tumor! Gathering with the spirit on a journey to the doctor and already almost suffocating from the corpse, I stumbled into the bath (including in the last stupid hope of washing off the ghost odor). When I entered the bathroom, I began to remove the engagement ring and stamp... Under the stamp was a small piece of meat that got there when I interfered with the fresh... These half-grams of meat rotten there for a few days, turning my life into a little hell... Since then I have not worn the stamp, and I have removed the engagement for the night...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121035
 25.11.2015
Sitting in the bus. I approached the stop, and there I saw my group. I see a man approaching her with flags, he wants to sell. Only he did not speak, but with gestures showed everything, Well, and gave a paper with text. But the group was not before that. The bus has arrived. Well, she read, said, "I am a poor miserable, buy a flag" and went into the bus. I see, the man was confused. As it turns out, the paper with the text was not returned to him. He tried to catch her hand somehow, but didn't have time, and the bus was about to leave. He showed her something with gestures, with his hands, but unsuccessfully. In the end, he couldn’t stand and said loudly, “Girl, return the paper!” and burned)

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121034
 25.11.2015
Let it hang up here :-) It’s funny :-)
I recently broke the pattern.
I recently woke up the alarm.
I couldn’t understand that for the whirlwind, the melody there is such that the dead will rise up.
And here yesterday I wake up and see a painting of oil.
He sits in front of the phone and as soon as he starts playing the alarm, he turns it off.
The Fucks
Well, I took and put off the alarm solution math examples.
Waiting to learn to count (rofl)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121033
 25.11.2015
The Blackout in Crimea
XXX: Are you mad? :) I think there at least a week people will not be able to look at meat :) You can imagine what the challenge is: to eat all the foods in the refrigerator?! to
This is not a challenge, it is a challenge!
Meat Bucket Challenge

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121032
 25.11.2015
An ambulance officer told me.

A 10-year-old boy was bitten by a donkey. The boy was with his dad on the street. So, when we arrived, we saw on the neck of the boy at the place of the bite hematoma about with the fist! I and the doctor in a stupor: what has bitten him?

and Dad:

I immediately started taking poison.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121031
 25.11.2015
Residents of the Moscow region, who will answer the question: what hell is the railroad on the MKAD in the extreme left and not in the extreme right?

Alexandra answered... Oh, I’m chatting.
I answered t.k. At the time, he was engaged in research, including in the MCA. In short, asphalt is sensitive to any dynamic loads, weight is just one of them. If you pay attention - often the tracks become noticeably closer to the lighting - because there are more frequent sharp brakes. The left rows of the MKAD are somehow attractive for riders, and the tracks there appear faster. 10 years ago (now I don't know, I've been doing other things for a long time) they tested new "stable" types of asphalt concrete (parts of 1-2 km).
But that’s why there’s no track in the far right – the question is more interesting. Here you want to ask the author of the original quote about the number of measurements carried out (well there, for example, 10km through every 50m for each row) and whether he conducted a study of documentation on previous repairs, or maybe in the right row the dull asphalt is fresh?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121030
 25.11.2015
Router 8 will be closed soon...what will we do?
Have you tried pornography?
XXX: No
YYY: Then the FIGN

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121029
 25.11.2015
Why don’t you watch Game of Thrones? She’s cool, don’t you believe it?
I don’t watch movies longer than three series.
Well then read the books, there will not be ten.
I don’t read books longer than three volumes. War and Peace I had in two books - a deceit broke up.
HH: What is the Nafig? Did you give a swear like Wassermann?
Wow: I just don’t believe that a person who really has something to say can’t express it in a concise and concise way. And if someone doesn’t know what they want, I don’t want to waste my time on them.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №121028
 25.11.2015
- he asked "parle vu france"
This means "you speak French"
So I understood.
And what did you answer?
- " you"
Why? why? O_O
- I was confused and thought that if I answer in Russian, he will not understand, and how it will be "no" in French I do not know :-[

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