From the questionnaire of a blonde acquaintance Vkontakte:
ICQ: very smart

by Yuki@:
The little
by Yuki@:
My sickness
Cyclone is:
Yes to?
by Yuki@:
Your girl is leaving.
Cyclone is:
Goodbye to the sun.
by Yuki@:
Keep the crab, fucking

In the news on the telecast saw:
In Khabarovsk, a foreigner (kamri) at the crossroads almost struck down pensioners, grandmother and grandfather, going to the green light. Their indignation had no limits, and they first struck the car with avocado, then pulled out the gentle driver, and began to mutilate him. Scared drivers even called the DPS to give up and leave the pensioners alive.
Plus for the support of grandpa hardening and the extermination of hamsteries on the roads!

Do not mistakenly understand, among the Aitishnihs there are many normal, adequate people who are able to do wonders and at the same time do not exaggerate over the curved hands and brains of laminated users, as well as the trouble of the old hardening users, who seal the disc in the systemic screen with a scotch, on the order of the Great Systemist. Mikhailic, if you read - respect you and apologize, I could not do anything then.
To all the ‘true Aitishnecs’ who consider themselves to be super-cybergenics, too busy and burdened, or simply ‘good free uncles’ who are permitted to glimpse over ‘criminal’ users:
1st I have already fired three such "geniuses", exhausting schoolchildren, you can not even humanely press a twisted couple. Where you are taught the current of such, Zam General, you have to wrap your sleeves, on the weekend to lift the network with the incoming system manager.
2nd What is "Free" Is it early to get a nose? For the s/p that you are paid, such “geniuses” should be at work without laying hands, and not in Contra from morning to evening at work.
Three And in general - take an example from the "old" system engineers, not the pants, and the "old" women, not the bull for the aunt of the sovedepovsky hardening, and the instructions to print again.
P.S Mikhalych, if you read - knock on the aska, Semenov has already torn all the hair on his ass, expresses the desire to return you, the conditions - we will discuss.
Beer, beer and sweater!

For [s]writers [s] who invent the quotations:
The man lost his ankle, began to be afraid of complicated proposals. I wanted a simpler phrase. After simple phrases came simple thoughts.
Then he lost his crying sign and began to speak quietly, with one intonation. Nothing pleased him or annoyed him, he treated everything without emotions.
Then he lost his question mark and stopped asking questions. No events caused his curiosity, wherever they occurred – in space, on Earth, or even in his own apartment.
A few years later, he lost his duality and stopped explaining his actions to people.
For the rest of his life, he had only left his cows. He did not express any of his own ideas, he quoted someone all the time - so he learned to think and reached the point.
Beware of signs!

"On the Benefits of Signs of Interruption". by A. Kanevsky

by sm.marketgid.com
In Berlin, a treaty was found that Adolf Hitler had concluded with... Satan. The contract was signed on 30 April 1932 by both sides. Hitler’s political will.
According to him, the devil gives Hitler virtually unlimited power on the condition that he will use it to evil. In exchange, the Führer promised to give his soul in exactly 13 years.
Four independent experts studied the document and agreed that Hitler's signature was truly authentic, characteristic of documents signed by him in the 30-40s.
According to Portal Credo, the devil's signature also coincides with the one that stands on other similar treaties with the lord of hell. Such documents are well known to historians.

I smell of toilet paper.
Am... to? Or after that? ?

I do not know with which suppliers of household chemicals we cooperate, but in the service note from the trainee to the engineer in the section "imported goods" appeared the names "Rylo children"Zemljanička" and "Powder stibal "Ariel"...

Someone, reveal me a terrible mystery - to print "4" instead of "ch"?

Online store delivery service (C), order - hard drive, customers - two girls (D).
C: Accept the order, sign up here, all the good.
D: Oh, and we thought you would put us in...
C: Girls, I would like to, but I’m married unfortunately.

The Comrade! And you also think that all the alleged quotes of the alleged girls of beauties and smart women, dreaming of deliciously cooking, washing, cleaning, making mines and all the ways to soothe the unbarred foolish system makers, twisted on Linux and Sepulture, without receiving anything in return, are just fiction and dreams of those? and :)

Transmission on REN-TV about the acting performers of the 90s - "The stars will not fade".
From the third time I understood what I meant.

The UN meeting. The President of Madagascar is in the Chamber. I hear a whisper:

"In my opinion he is a white..."
" to be exact. Tagged with"

XD is

She is:
Tell me what about yourself?

He is:
Okay, I am a hairy person.)

He is:
Poorly

He is:
Funnyly

She is:
mmm

She is:
I am the opposite.

He is:
O_O

He is:
Depressed and fat?

The one who pulled out of my bag a notebook with conscripts somewhere in Shchukinskaya or Tushinskaya, this message is for you!
You are going to die, shit! I’ve been doing this since the beginning of the year and it’s really important!!! Better you would have taken out a wallet with 2000 rubles or a mobile phone for 10000 >__<
I hate you!

Dear members of Odin! And the fact that your quote never gets into the abyss, made specifically so that it can not be plushed? Or am I just not so lucky?

<xxx>: And I dream that I am a unionist. And someone sends me to steal enemy wood. I make a move, I cut down a small tree, I begin to cut a big tree... And the steps are not enough. And I see, the enemy arbalet wants to kill me. And I can’t move – it’s not my move, it’s terrible to die.

Sergi
Guess what brick we hang on the key to the men’s toilet.

Nile
The pentagram?

Sergi
Roulette is 2 meters.

Advertising in the Zoo:
The sea pig is not sick, not old, not burned in the fire, nobody turned it out! She has that kind!

Sorry for the topic, I don’t want to offend anyone, but this story happened at one airport.

A healthy Negro came to the registration. Breadth, under two meters, but not thick, generally healthy. He speaks Russian very loudly. This is an Afro-Russian :)
In general, he says to the girl, say, put me in the passage, to the emergency exit. It will be uncomfortable, I am big. In the passage, even the legs can be pulled out.
The girl answers him:
Don’t worry, everything will be fine. Fly like a white man.