I recently moved to Peter. For the first time faced with the fact that the user caught the winlocker not crawling or watching porn, but downloading the book of Oscar Wald.

XXX is:
I cooked 20 sausages and put your name out of them. And now I can’t eat them because we eat you.
XXX is:
I will die of hunger. by DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
XXX is:
by Fuck. My father came and ruined all my vanilla.
I ate half of it and said I was dumb.

I was very upset when Kolyan said that the one I am calling does not see that I am calling from the iPhone.

A botanical girl is a diagnosis. Mature, finally, before intimate relationships, now shares impressions:
“I don’t understand why ‘washing’ is a murder. It would be more logical to call it sex.
- And when I saw THIS, I was scared... Then I stumbled, and tried to insinuate to myself that inside it would be like a umbrella.
“And I lie down and think, ‘God, what should I talk to him next?’ You will have to say something! What!! What should be said in such cases? M-M-M... "Thank you"? Stupid probably. And for what to thank? I too, happiness... What I, fool, did not ask Katie what to do afterwards! Well, I can’t be silent, I think I’m uneducated" In general, I’m worried... And everything turned out to be so simple – I turned over, turned back, and fell asleep. It is from the heart!

After reading the article "Special Services allowed to listen to Skype"

1: about Skype is fun - even without a court ruling can listen
2: Let the chassis discuss the terror attacks, the bomb laid under the White House with the spores of the Siberian ulcer that will cover all pedophiles in the U.S.
What other words do they filter? 😉
1: let’s talk about it in 10 minutes – or you can take me out of the toilet (rofl)

There are two girls on the street:
Q: Sorry, can you tell me where the street of Voronin is?
I, (doing a terrible face): Captain Voronin! to
D: I am sorry sir.

He who has no purpose is doomed to the goals of others.

The telephone novel

Although they say that a good person is not a profession, but this little story proves the opposite.

I recently got a new administrator. Young, but quite intelligent and studying at the journal.
Colu, I can easily call a good and decent person and this property often helps him in everyday life.
Once he called out to help the old lady get to the house with a heavy bag from the metro. It turned out that the daughter of the old lady works as a cashier in a local supermarket. Since then, Cole has been loaded with a large discount (for internal use), and a couple of times even in debt.
But this is a little bit compared to what happened to our hero three months ago.

Kolya rushed to work, suddenly a brutal darkened machinery was parked next to him, a round-colored unshaken brunette looked out of it and said with a gentle Caucasian accent:
- Brother, let me call for a short time, or they're afraid to take the phone, they know it's me. Don’t be afraid, it is fast.

Kolya noticed that a couple of brunettes were sitting inside and refused. Especially because hardly anyone will look at his iron-concrete phone, which was not worth more than a tank of gasoline.
And then, Cole was insured – prepared, in case, to take off the Mercedes side mirror, and my administrator runs very quickly...

But fortunately, the round-faced brunette had no plans for Colin's phone and loud screams were heard from the car:
and AL! Yes, this is also my phone, I have a short suitcase. Do not hang the phone. And why? Let’s meet tonight and talk. Come on tomorrow, you hear? For whom do you hold me? For the Dodic?! to
I wasted time and money! This is Kidding! I will find your address and come. Yes, and add coffee – it’s another two hundred and that 2400. Here are such! Ordinary 2400 I advise better not to sound me, let’s meet, let’s sit down, let’s catch up... Listen to the sheep.

The window opened and the black car finally released Colin’s phone with the words:
Here is the sheep, the tubes throw! Thank you brother, good luck to you.

That same evening, Colin's mobile phone suddenly filled up for 2500 rubles, and then came the SMS:

“Dear Sir Arthur.
If you think that any girl with whom you went to the cinema and drank coffee should immediately go to bed with you, then I’m forced to disappoint you – that’s far from the case.

P.S
Say goodbye, don’t call me anymore, I am not worthy of your attention.
You are a very good guy. Although not beautiful, but generous and noble.
I send you 100 rubles more and don’t refuse anything.”

Kolya scratched his neck, sent 2500 rubles back to an unfamiliar girl and wrote:

“I’m not Arthur, but a random passenger who borrowed his phone from him.
This is not my business, but it seems to me that this is Arthur, not the person with whom it is worth sitting on one hectare, and much less spending your money on it. Better buy a new shirt.”

A second call:

But good day. My name is Tatiana. It is rare to meet a noble and decent person. I would like to invite you to the movie, to at least a glance. I have 2500 rubles.

Kolya agreed and Tatiana has been loving them for three months now.

Firefighter Sidov was inactive: the bank burned - the loan was extinguished.

I'm going to love at the fireplace.
YYY: Will you shake the battery?

@mahury> why should I not be afraid of girls?
@sl1> Because you can rape them, but they don’t.
@mahury> in the sense that they will not rape me?
@sl1> will be. There are all kinds of flowers, chocolate.

Translate about two servings of vodka at 100 grams? Ha ha ha! And to translate into English "chmo duralevo" and "this is I telnik skomunizdil" without losing expressive colour did not try?

In general, our driver at your address will soon fuck out.
YYY: Suddenly...
xxx: will come out
YYY: Nothing is terrible. He was already out of our "girls" to meet. ))

12:18 [newer] private [ klan] at my staff, in the office, there is music... nirvana... not loud, but they hear well. The boss came to them, and I had them too. The boss listened, said that he was playing some “girl girl” and left. Our proger stood up, said he was fired and went out of the office knocking the door.)))
12:19 [newer] private [ klan ] for nirvana offended )
12:19 [newer] private [ klan ] losers they are such losers ))

From the memorial to the beginner:

- You know, when around you start to straighten the fish-lotsman you have to drop the load belt...

I very much hope that there is a special branch in hell for employees of Sberbank. With stupid devils, with heroic consideration of punishment, and, fucking! With a mandatory wild line in front of the boiler!

Conversation with the buyer:
(p) - We need a memory mouse and I will immediately say that the flash is not about it!!! to
Why does it have memory and how will it be used?
(p) - We lead this mouse on a text, then paint it blue, click on the mouse... she remembers...
We all have mice with memory. and :)

On the escalator in the subway, the grandmother-watcher gave:
Leaders of tourist groups, do not let your foreigners take photos on the escalator.
They fall when they photograph!"

Rules of pedestrian transit:
A lonely pedestrian walking on a zebra attracts another dozen on both sides.

Dentists are terribly clever and unpredictable people! I came with acute pain, I say, teeth broken out, teeth broken out, I ask, and what to do with a sick tooth? They said, go, treat... what can be answered – full shit...blow!! to