When Rahmaninov arrived in America, a music critic surprised him:

Why is the master dressed so modestly?

“Nobody knows me here anyway,” replied Rahmaninov.

Over time, the composer has not changed his habits.

And the same critic asks again a few years later:

“Master, your material circumstances have changed significantly for the better, but you haven’t gotten better dressed.

“Why, everybody knows me,” Rahmanin shrugged his shoulders.

Again about female logic.

There has been a lot of growth in the area. The wife asked her to form a crown in the form of a pyramid. I carefully cut off everything excessive, it turned out to be quite a decent "pyramid". I called my wife, rightly hoping for praise, but she said on the go that I had defiled the tree.

You asked for a pyramid.

Yes, but not such a thing!

Please paint what she wants.

This is how the oval is painted.

I am very emotional and my husband is not. I recently went out on the balcony, and I admire it through the glass: how beautiful and beautiful it is. I breathe in euphoria on the glass, smile and paint a heart. He smiles in response, breathes on the glass and paints a penis. I stop lying stupidly and lock it on the balcony!

My friend Serega was doing repairs with his parents in the apartment. The apartment is located in the first in the USSR youth housing complex - MŽK. It should be noted that in addition to the construction of these houses were also attracted to future young tenants - engineers of the space industry, who instead of working several days a week helped in the construction of work that did not require special qualifications. The lack of materials and qualifications during the tough socialist periods taught builders to be reckless, but at the same time had a strong impact on the quality of future apartments, one of which came to my friend’s parents in the 1970s.



During the meeting Sereg, excited by the repair, said a mysterious phrase:



In life you will not guess what is in this apartment under the linoleum!



My shy assumptions – concrete, fence, wood, glass, maybe even foam – caused Seregha only to shake his head and smile a man who knew the bitter mystery.



When I listed all the materials I knew used in the living room, he took a deep look and said sadly:



Fuck you guessed. The asphalt!

If this is the case, then they will not be spent on retirement, but will be carried out.

Now is the time to defend my diplomas and I remember my defense.
He presented his diploma and answered one of the questions:
“To be honest, I didn’t get into that.”
One of the teachers turned to us and said:
“Never, never say that. Remember the phrase – THAT wasn’t the purpose of my research.”

Hermann Gref proposed to make the retirement age, as in Germany - 67 years, and to give loans, as the Sberbank in Germany, under 0.9% of the year did not offer.

I thought it was hard to surprise me, but, as they say, don’t be surprised.

The place of action is our days (yesterday), Volokolamsk.

The director is informed that during the cleaning of the swamp in the territory of the mine was found. Which of the mines are launched...

Well, the director contacts the police, those with the Emergency Ministry come, a man in a armor approaches, inspects, says - call the sappers, the mine is rusting. The sappers will come only the next day (unclear, okay). The police leave the sergeant to guard the rugged mine. I call the director in the morning.)

- This is the case, the sergeant for the night mine... took home, so as not to wait all night, and brought back in the morning.)))