I worked in a programming company last autumn. After a while, I met at work a very cute, beautiful and smiling girl named Light. And since my heart was free at that moment, I began to make timid attempts to get closer to her. And everything seemed to go by itself - then we decided some work issues together, then we went to lunch together, several times even asked to carry her home. And everything was wonderful. She laughed at my jokes, smiled, embarrassedly looking me in the eyes, without silence talked about all sorts of things... And going on vacation, she hugged me strongly to say goodbye. And then I realized that we need to move to more decisive actions.

And then came the day of Svetlana’s return from her vacation. I am all so dressed and happy running to work, with the iron intention to invite her on a date.

I come to the office, the light puts all kinds of snacks on the common table. I say goodbye, I ask, in honor of what this dish suddenly is. I guess I missed her birthday.

Smiling and glowing, he replied:

Yes, she is married!

Chockey: What law can be used in a country where children learn to pronounce sounds according to “Carl from Clara stole corals, Clara from Karl stole clarinet?”

to this:
— — —
My wife and I were not able to agree on the name of the child. As a result, they both compiled lists of names, took a crossroads of sets and sent all this to a large random. But that is not all. This program fell with the exception that the collection does not contain elements.
— — —
How much do you need to be a fucking coder to make such a simple task go wrong?

Mercy is not in pity, but in help.

At night, a drunk man went for cigarettes and disappeared. Called friends, hospitals, police, morgi. No one saw. In horror it seemed that he was killed lying in the bushes. Then panic - how can I be alone with two children? Well, okay, I sell the car, I give away the second apartment, I exchange my own for two and I also give away, plus a pension for the loss of a feeder... And everything was so well planned that when he returned after three hours alive, I even got a little upset...

Even the State Duma speaker will be waldin.

I went to a shop today with a friend of artists. She stands, presses a box of pastels, something gently bumping. Suddenly he turns to me and asks:
Nothing I’m talking to myself?
I, reassuringly: Yes, no, it’s okay, I don’t even notice.
She said sadly, “That’s because you don’t notice, and it turns out that I’m talking to myself.

"A strong fog is moving toward Moscow".

Romanticians can imagine themselves in the center of the cartoon "The Mist in the Mist".

Optimists can imagine themselves in the center of London.

Pessimists - at the heart of the film "The Mist" by Stephen King.

A new message to the damn! More "Lossy tuna" and "Bite my shiny metal ass":
"Shouldn’t you go!"

What kind of breaking pattern when changing the name?!? It is now!!? Yes, everyone is already accustomed to the fact that in your native chat, you are Vasilis, and VK - Melpomena, somewhere Zvezda Ivanovna, SZ-Ingrid, and by passport - Olga, literally in a week everyone will get used to it. Parents will only be offended, but even what he did not see, will survive. My husband is all called Vasey from school, because he is Vasilyev, and by passport he is Evgeny, but only parents and sister know this.

The story of Nikita Bogoslovsky (composer) As a child, leaving a phone directory, little Nikita stumbled on a surname:
Angel Angelov Angelovich (Greek, apparently) He called the number and said:
Call the devil.
From there, appropriate words were spread about the boy's mother, his mental abilities, and so on. He called so many times in a row, enjoying the reaction. At the end, Mr. Angels just hanged the phone. Once Bogoslovsky, already being a man in his years, rehearsed the same reference book again and found Angelova A. A. He picked up the number, and, pressed by laughter, asked... Fuck Chertovich! From the tube, an old whispering voice spoke:
Are you still alive, shit?

Therefore, it was necessary to get the site so tight that not only the tank droppers, but even the commentators of the debubals escaped from here.

Instructions in case you want to comment on a quote:

1st Give a quote
2nd Press Alt + F4
Three Remove the cable.
4 is Pressing the glass
5 is Go off the quotation and never go back.

Kitty will be watching it, oh, oh, oh.

Yes, now there is a full chief of the Moscow police in our entrance, and we will be professionally guarded.
Not you, but him from you.

Turn on the TV for the background. KVN is coming. Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla I got into the subject, I think, she has something with the lungs. I raise my eyes to the screen: 1997. No FIG has been understood for almost 20 years. I don’t understand why I’m 40 years old.