It happened now.

A colleague brought his 5-year-old daughter to work. The whole day she went with the badge from leaflet to cell "Vice Director" and in the evening, apparently, entered the role.

A client enters our office. He asks where the laundry is. The vigilant micro-adjunct of the boss, loudly, childishly ringing and with an expression, like a king's whisper, declares:

The toilet is busy. There is a director!

It was fun. Many employees smiled embarrassed.

A few minutes later, the general comes out of the toilet.

The little voice activated again:

The Director Picked! You can pass! It sounded all over the office, and with a hand movement, as if giving a reverence, the girl pointed to the visitor to the toilet.

The director asked my colleague not to bring the children to work anymore. =) is

When I was a child, I heard that if you throw a petard in the toilet, the neighbors will have a fountain water.

When I was somewhere 13-14 years old, there was not much mind in my head, snow lay on the street, and I had petards "black death" and "corsar", I decided to play the destroyer of legends even before this show began to exist.



I put it in the bathroom to see if it was gone. I remembered, I started washing. The cotton. Toilets and water on the floor. Only the barrel remains and the ring on top, everything on the bottom - in pieces. I picked up the pieces, wiped out everything, I sat in the kitchen.

lived with my father. He comes home, I sit like I don’t know anything. After a while, he goes to the toilet. From there:

So what about the toilet?

I found nothing better:

I do not know! I sat down and he broke.

How can he break?

I don’t know, the toilet has never broken under me before.

He comes back from the store with a new one and says:

- The toilet seller said that he hears about such crashes every day, and you, scuttle, threw the petard there!



20 years have passed and I, in my style of comedy, still deny everything.

In 1992, Arsen Egyiazaran and I played in the Moscow Dynamo chess championship. One day after the tour, they decided to go to the ZŠK, see the books. We walk along the Gogol Boulevard, and here we see: I meet slowly, hand in hand with a big man, a old man in glasses. A familiar face.

This is Botvinnik! I pull a friend’s sleeve.

and exactly! He confirms it.

We start bumping into our pockets in search of paper. The only thing I find is a blank where I re-written the game after the game. It is the course and the result. I forgot to name. Compared to the great champion, I extend a form and ask for an autograph.

Mikhail Moiseevich glanced slightly at the text, hastily turned the form and put an autograph under the result "1: 0" in the column "Signature of the Negroes". He then handed me the relic back and said:

- Now write down the names and say that you won at Botwinnik!

How much you owe the state, it demands more.

and Dad! Knock-knock-knock-knock is delivered from the kitchen.
Murzick is a five-year-old favorite cat of a five-year-old daughter. Their love is mutual. He hardly gets out of his hand. And the cat is always on her hands. I rush to Chad.
Do not worry. We will find. There is nowhere to go, the doors, the windows are closed, there is no place here, there is no place here. How did he disappear?
and disappeared! There was no one right away! ??
It does not happen. Shares will come. Kitty Kitty.
I packed with food. No to! He would have been crying long ago. After ten minutes of searching, I begin to believe in the mystic.
What are these things?! Mindfully tracking the tested space again - I searched everywhere! No, not in the refrigerator. With a feeling of my own stupidity, I open the refrigerator. Oh Oh! Two wild eyes on a wool piece that is in shock! How is?! to
This is so!
After the restoration of events: the cat on the pen.
Dad, can I have an apple?
Maybe just wash. And the pencil too.
The refrigerator opens. Hands are busy. The cat is placed on the shelf. Take an apple. Washing with hands. Handles are wiped out. The Opa! The handles are wiped out, and the cat is not on them!! to

She didn’t want a ice cream. In the freezer would probably not be useful.

In Russia, the one who imports money into the country is called "foreign agent", and the one who exports from the country - "patriot".

If you could have lunch with a famous person, dead or alive, who would you choose?

Yyy : Alive

I recalled here, as in the time of my sleepy childhood, if there was a trouble and some people's artist of the USSR or a politician of the Politburo died, then on television the dictator announced that there were changes in the program and instead of the transmission of "Our garden" and "I serve the Soviet Union" now show a movie with the deceased citizen and tell how he raised the village. And because of all this, I somehow very determinedly began to dream that Schwarzenegger would soon die and show him a movie on television that I had never seen before. However, I thought, if they show Terminator or Commando, which I’ve seen in the video show, it’ll be good too. I even imagined how I turned on the TV, and there a spokesman with grief in the voice: "Today, on the twelfth year of life suddenly died folk actor Arnold Schwarzenegger, in connection with which in the program of the programs there were changes, instead of "Play, harmony beloved" will be shown the film "Conan-destroyer".