bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94556
 26.02.2014
“You remember Lena? she’s here... Emma... a kind of girl.
WOW: the crapper coprophiles, here they are peculiar, and Lena is just hippo)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94555
 26.02.2014
What if Germany begins to issue passports to residents of the Kaliningrad region?
Oh, how do you? The Reichstag must be painted again.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №94554
 26.02.2014
The test for psychological return, the date of death, who you were in a past life, seemed the whole topic exhausted, but no, now you can find out the psychological weight! I look forward to testing the psychological size of the breast and penis.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №94553
 26.02.2014
Today I put a mixer in my house, confusing hot and cold water pipes in places. As a result, if you turn the pen in the "blue" side - it flows hot, in the "red" - the opposite.
My wife started crying out that I was wrong-handed and now I’m going to rework everything.
It was very lazy. Well, I took that icon, which depicts the sides of hot and cold water, pulled it out and turned it over.
There was a great surprise on the face of my wife. It felt like I broke her psyche. I didn’t eat or talk all day. With an empty look, she looks into space. Is she rethinking her life, or is she having a bug?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94552
 26.02.2014
Review of Counter-Strike Global Offensive
XXX is OK? I sat down to play with her, almost turned out. Too arcade model, everything is simplified to the level of oligofrens. The fact that weapons are purchased with ammunition immediately turned me away from the game. This is all about CS:GO.

yyy: Those looking for real realism are waiting in the military command.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №94551
 26.02.2014
Victoria Kolosovskaya: Yes, the Slavic brothers... stuck you... I imagine how you every day greeting ran to the box or to the notebook to add adrenaline... You really stuck and, I am sure, some made you think...it’s good! Everything will be fine, as will you! Glory to Ukraine, she has overtaken you!

Vogluskr: /melancholic / What are we playing?

cancerogen: "Destroy your country." Ukraine won.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94550
 26.02.2014
.... and Nadia, a teacher of the Russian language ("With a light steam", 1975, the State Prize of the USSR) forgot "... Wear a festive dress"
I recently paid attention. The current youth has stopped.
____________________

This is not a mistake, it is very subtle humor. Wear clothes, wear hope

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94549
 26.02.2014
Once asked... Enjoy it!

"The Ring of the World" Larry Niven (Niven)
Both "Odyssey "Arthur Clark
The Capricorn King - "Star Infantry"
and! Super super super super super cute!! - "Door in the Summer" of the same Heinlein.
Glenn Cook. Chronicles of the Black Squad
by Robert Silverberg. Chronicles of Majipur
"Flowers for Algeron"
Clifford Saymak: “All flesh is grass” (other name: “All flesh is grass”). And in general, all
Martin George "The Glass Flower" and Joan Wings "The Snow Queen"
Robert Arthur "A Postcard to Heaven"
Eric Frank Russell "The closest relative"
Unaccompanied Sonata' by Orson Scott Card
"Atlanta Raised the Shoulders" Alan Rand
Cycle of Andrei Lazartchuk "Hyperboric plague" : 1. "Look in the eyes of monsters", 2. "Hiperborean plague" and "March of the Ecclesiastes"
Cycle "Lunar rainbow" for adults, "Where are you, little bird" for teens.
The books of the Brothers Strugacki.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94548
 26.02.2014
As in the line of fasting, I bring new pearls home.
I am in collection. A man of 25 years. Calling another bank. It nervous. Probably the operator is asking what he wants.
I want to know if money has been transferred from my account to my account in another bank.
It is called FIU. The next bomb.
The code word? How do I know? A... fucking....Spanch Bob square stones of Yopta. No, it goes through it...

Then followed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94547
 26.02.2014
Wut: - as the owners of the Russian small books say... We have nothing to lose, except our Oks!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94546
 26.02.2014
The King Victor:
I have a friend with the same name. He was taken drunk to the department. Since he had no documents, he was asked what his name was. He answered so directly.
The King.
He received his nobility's name for two hours on a bakery until his wife brought the documents.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94545
 26.02.2014
My son thinks that everything that lies low lies for him. And everything that lies high - too for him, you just have to push the taboo.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №94544
 26.02.2014
xxx: Sorry, that’s not about the subject, but I’m tormented by one question about Maidan: where are the standers going to suck and crack?

Yyy: They are apparently moving the camp by the clock shooter :)

Zzz: When will he make a full circle? It is :)

yyy: They raise the bush, and they are washed away from the area with water meters together with the feces.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №94543
 26.02.2014
As soon as the last Harry Potter book came out, I took it to read from a friend... I sit, so I read the moment at the beginning where Malfoy enchanted Harry and wanted to leave him in the train (amateurs will know this scene). Well, I ask the older brother, who has already read the book:
Will he really stay on the train?
What my brother replied:
- Of course all, and the other 500 pages are deeply thoughtful thoughts of the main character about the meaning of being.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №94542
 26.02.2014
Yourok: эх, leha leha you are a great guy!
If you weren’t gay, I’d be in love with you.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94541
 26.02.2014
A voice from the office kitchen:

The fucking microwave! Even the tea can not warm up normally: bread from a cup, it is cold, and in the middle a piece of boiling water floats.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94540
 26.02.2014
I work in the hospital. There were two elderly men in the room. For a week, next to the beds, they communicated normally... on the day of discharge they fought because of the order, who the first discharge papers to take... Everything would be nothing, but their surnames - Trojan and Kaspersky...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94539
 26.02.2014
Once it came out that Facebook doesn’t know where to go, let them buy "home 2" and close it. After all, how many dollars are watching him, while they could lose this time on social networks.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94538
 26.02.2014
The liqueur of the 90s. The chief engineer of the project and the chief architect of the project are called to the main customer. They are standing at the door and waiting for him to finish the conversation in elevated tones on the phone. On the GZP a classic raspberry jacket and a golden chain. The bandit is shorter. Here he hangs the phone, then looks at them very uncomfortable for a while, then asks:
Who are you?
We are GIP and GAP.
The clowns are out?

[ + 49 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94537
 26.02.2014
Maybe I don’t understand something, but here...
Why are they talking about Ukraine? "The Olympics won, Ukraine lost."
to whom? What about us, ordinary Russians?
Those who have dreams are selling gas. I have something about that. He sells me the same.
I asked my friends – they don’t need Ukraine at all.
Why not talk about Uruguay? Who there, in Uruguay where flew, arrived - let's discuss. That is the same country. And another too. Even the letter too.

No, in fact, of course, I understand - historically, brothers Slavs and so on.
So let’s give those billions to rise here to those who want to move to Russia. Let’s take off again. The Slavic Brothers, though.
Whoever considers Ukraine his homeland and is not going anywhere - respect, I would not leave, probably.
But there is nothing to go into another country.

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