told a familiar doctor. A story without prints. But I quite allow.

Samara, a businessman of the 90s. Very thick. Problems with the liver began, he arranged a consultation with a local doctor, by acquaintance. The doctor took him and said that "he will prescribe therapy to him, but the medicine will not work, because it will be absorbed in his fat. And that before the therapy he needs to urgently lose weight. " Refused the money.



The businessman was upset and told the secretary that he would find the best, not this monster in a mint coat. The secretary booked a consultation in America, to the glory of hepatology, a turn to him for six months and some wild price for consultation. Three months later, for a huge bump (analysis, out-of-schedule consultation, trip, accommodation), he sits on a consultation at the lighthouse, which tells him:

- I will prescribe therapy, but the drug will not work, as excess fat will be absorbed in your body, you need to lose weight.



He came back and began to shrink.

As a child, I was often left with my grandfather. Grandfather is a professor, teaches at the university, a respected person. He has a hobby, collecting wine. He proudly calls himself an enophilist. When I was six years old, I was taken to a "exam" at the little girl's school before going to school. One of the tasks was to name the antonyms. I called the word “dry” the antonym “half-sweet.” My parents talked a long time with the teacher.

I have a few bottles of men's columns from avon (not advertising). My wife worked, now my daughter. So, there is a healthy bottle among them, but the smell I don't like very much, and what is there, I don't like it at all! I sprayed them after shaving and instead of a deodorant used and burned the wounds, used something to wipe-wipe, did everything so that this ugliness would end faster. And he, the infection, does not end and does not end. To throw away it is a pity – a gift, and money is worth it, and I am far from a millionaire. Other columns were rarely used, berge. And suddenly in the days I watch - and shit that, literally for a few times left. Uriah! Well, I will finally start using cool, proven and wonderful columns! Nothing predicted trouble.

23 February. In a solemn atmosphere, my daughter gives me a gift:

Congratulations, it is for you. I know you will like.

I turn the curtains and... the eyes are rounded, the jaw falls, the tongue is covered with selective mats, because in my hands I have BLA...Y! The same healthy bottle, the same column!

“Daddy, I knew you’d like it, because it’s your favorite column, you use it so often. Dad, have I guessed?

Of course, my sweetheart, I got in the top ten. thank you!

I love my daughter very much, but what to do now with this stinking column I don't know, I can't stand the second marathon.

My mom told me.

She walked out with my older sister, who was 3-4 years old at the time. The sister is digging in the sandbox, the mother is watching on the bench next door.

Here, children come to the venue, one of which is a 5-year-old daughter of the administration, and begins to command.

So, from here we will scratch the sand, fold here (waste cars), there is a parking, there is a gasoline, the rest of the toys in the corner.

My mother can’t stand it, she asks:

Why are you commanding here? You have to play so that everyone is equally involved in the game.

“And I,” said the girl, “will become a boss when I grow up.

You are playing in the garbage. Do you want to be the manager of the garbage?

Well what! - a child parishes, - let at least the garbage, the main - to be the boss!

My neighbors on the left (a young family couple) organize a loud scandal every morning. She goes to work and tells her husband that he is unemployed. He thinks that she doesn't understand him, because he's looking for something worthy, etc. And I hear it all very well, because noise insulation in new houses is absolutely no.

This morning I hear familiar screams from the left. The husband says to his wife, “Tania, you don’t hear me at all! There is a wall of incomprehension between us. “”

And then I hear the voice of the neighbor on the right (in general another entrance) saying, “The wall at him, shit! There is no wall here because I can hear you. The wall is crazy! Find work or actually cover all the walls with bricks again! You are a fucker at home! “”

A familiar woman-dietist told yesterday a funny story from the 90s about one of her patients. I will call her Marina and his Sergei.



Sergey in the past was an athlete, then engaged in business, succeeded in it. But relaxed without the daily stresses that were in the sport. Again, the "shale" money appeared, delicacies, alcohol and so on. As a result, the guy gained under 150 kg, hardly got into his jeep. I asked for advice from a friend of Marina. He sent her a fairy fee if she left all the former clients and took care only of them.



Marina took care of the matter. I developed a special diet for Sergey strictly on hours and with certain products, bioadditives, a complex of exercises, acupuncture, massages, meditation and something else there (I am not special in these matters, so I did not get into the details). They met once a week, convened daily for correction and control.



Sergey was a disciplined client and strictly followed all her instructions. The results did not slow to affect after a short time - he really began to throw out the excess, which inspired both to continue the classes with even greater zeal.



A year later, Sergei dropped about 80 kg, was absolutely happy. He built, broke down, paid more to Marina than he promised. It was the last meeting, when he said by phone that he could not come to her - he had an urgent business trip for a couple of weeks. Sergey promised to come immediately upon arrival from this trip.



He called Marina, told her he had arrived and was ready to meet her.



The bell to the door – Marina opened and (further her words quote):



“I almost fainted – Sergey stood on the threshold with a huge bouquet of flowers, smiling to the whole mouth, but...He was even thicker than before we started our classes! At least 200 kg at first glance. I am in total shock!

How! How could he recover in two weeks what he lost in a year of hard work?

I could not say a word. In my head there were thoughts about my complete incompetence, about some kind of Sergey’s illness, about the need to change the profession.



What happened to you? I asked when I could speak.

Nothing, everything is fine! Here is my brother brought to you, he also wants to lose weight, seeing my results!

With these words from the back of the first "Sergei" came out the second - a complete copy of the first, only already thin and ardent, with the same smile on the face.

“Sorry, Marina, you decided to play a little bit with my brother. This is my twin brother, we are constantly confused.



I almost killed them both later. “..

Do not be offended by your fate, she still has to fight with the hustle.

This is the story of a woman whom some people thought was a blonde. She walked into a large hypermarket and saw a stunning pot for 8 thousand rubles. Expensive, but she liked this castrulence so much that she bought it.
Coming home, all the stickers laid off and let’s bake and steam in it all kinds of tastes.
The next day, she went to the store again to buy something, and there sold out. And this pot instead of eight costs just three thousand. Any insult could be resolved.
But our girl instead took and bought another pot for three thousand. I came home, took the cash check from yesterday’s purchase and returned with it and with the new pot just purchased to the store. Say, yesterday, here you took for eight thousand, it did not fit me, I want to return, everything new, not even opened.
I returned eight thousand. She was not a blonde.

My wife brought a second cat.
The first cat thinks I’d better bring a second wife.

raccOOn18: guys, I can confirm as a girl - size is not important! You can split up)

Chlenovoz: But yet you have raccOOn18, not raccOOn13...

One day, I was driving from work on a standard soil, tired and overwhelmed after a long day, looking out the window, thinking of my own. My stop was a bus stop, so I wasn’t afraid to go through it.

Unfortunately, as it turned out later. Shortly before I stopped, the guard suddenly stopped on the foot of the shops and a small coffee shop, the driver knocked the door and wrapped it in the sunset. I thought, “Where is he, 5 meters before the stop...” and fifteen minutes later, when my legs in the frozen bus began to freeze, I was obscured. I sit all in black, I am a little girl myself, in the dark cabin I was not noticed, the stop at the route is final, near the night bus stop. The driver of the bus decided to go out to eat.

I opened the door – locked. It is impossible to climb onto the driver's seat, and the conscience to leave the bus open didn't allow - the driver here has everything to change.

In short, I kissed for forty minutes. When the hopes left me, the driver finally returned, cried, got into his place, was going to start the engine, and...

Do you bring them to the stop?! to

I haven’t seen such high jumping fat men.) And there are no such round eyes of fear either.

Porzhali, of course, drove until the stop and did not take the money for the trip).