XXX The Village. 3 hours of night. There are 2 cats on the street - our and the neighbor's. I go out with a lighthouse - I chase a stranger, I take my own. I’m carrying a shaker and I think he’d comment on it: "mam, let’s, the messengers will see..."

The Stranger:
Yesterday I forgot to turn off the lights, I come to the parking lot - battery at zero. While filming, smoking from a comrade and so on - lighted the phone. He went home with joy. In the morning I get the phone...I was not taught from childhood to turn off the lights...

Video of the accident:

RFF
It’s a pity a big black jeep because it’s a good car and it’s not her fault that it’s the idiot behind the wheel.

Life is not the events that were and will be, but the events that are remembered and awaited.

I used to think that all the stories of Karcev and Zhvanetsky about Odessa humor, conversations and intonations are such old good jokes that have little to do with reality. However, Odessa takes exactly 20 minutes to convince that this is all true: they really say it.

I wait for a taxi called in front of the airport building, suits a local bombardment, gray-haired, with golden teeth, over 60. Further without entering:

Will we go?
Thank you, they are following me.
Turn around to leave:
And will we wait? It’s as if they’ve placed a table on your arrival and hold it.

The arrival of Jora turns out to be an equally glorious guy. By the tenth minute of the trip, he already tells how they and the shurin, sending wives with children to their grandmother in Melitopol, shoot in Arkady a girlfriend and sweat 50 hryvnia into cowards striptease at the bar “here near”:
“You understand, in Odessa for one man with a sword, ten those who are without a sword. How else is it here.”

The beach. A couple is 50 years old. A man is going to shake the cover from the sand.
Missy be careful! Do not shake on the guys!
What kind of guys. Do you know they are from Russia?

Bar on the beach. I go for the second glass of quinoa. The Barman:
Do you just want to drink or is it really delicious?

When a stranger suddenly speaks to you on the street in a language that you do not know, there are three fundamentally different answers:
I’m not talking ski.
Do you speak ski?
I do not understand you.

In Odessa, in this situation, they respond as delightfully as possible:
Sorry, you don’t understand us.

If in Russia the hands were cut off for theft, then in the State Duma instead of voting buttons would be pedals.

Afghan children collect herbariums every autumn, the money from which they live all winter.

How does your cat live?
WOW is normal. He runs around me, gets and wants a cat.
How did you know she wanted a cat? Is she wearing erotic clothes? Smoking in the window? Is it written on the blog?

X: The most technological thing you can trust is a sharp stick.
The PNH!
X: I was joking.
U is OK)
X: You can’t even trust her, you’ll break her eye or you’ll kick it out :D
A to FUCK!

Call the provider
I- Tell me, connected the house *, on the street T*******?
A minute...
Unfortunately, this house is not connected yet.
When is it planned, can you tell me?
We do not have this information, but there is a connection near you, home *.
Do you suggest that I move? 😉

You do not understand! He is an idiot!
and?
During sex, I put music on the background. Speech by Sade. During the applause, he thanked the public.

Girls are such girls... We approach a friend to a cute girl. -You will go to the sea with us?

XXX: Imagine a person who has studied for 4 years on an electrical engineer, defended a diploma, has been working in the specialty for a couple of weeks, now passing an exam at the institute.
XXX: You’ll never guess what question he asked him to suggest.
XXX: How is the current measured?

to this:
It’s like the girl who bought you a beer that offered you together.
Play Xbox and have sex.
XX: It is physically impossible.! to

— — — —
My wife buys beer in the store on the way from work, under him we play the dota, and then sex. You probably haven’t been lucky yet.

If you are told to “confess honestly in everything, and you will get a conditional deadline,” be sure you will get a full roll.

In the bank's advertising slogan "Get the money back to the strollers", so that you don't get mistaken by emphasizing the number of letters overdue. You will not fool us!

Today is Easter. Where is my coat?
You are not believers.
We are Orthodox atheists.

Did you know that after training, the muscles grow in sleep?
and UGU. Sometimes you wake up in the morning - and Mike is rotting.

We gathered with my sister for the night looking into the store behind the baton. The younger sister is watching us, there is such a dialogue.
If Nadia is afraid, protect her, if Nadia is afraid, protect her, if Nadia is afraid, protect her.
What if we both get scared? I ask her.
Then run away.