bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №52398
 26.08.2011
Admins are necrophils.
As a servaq will die, fly a bunch and let it go with him.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №52397
 26.08.2011
The platform. Electricity comes in. A small Gypsy from the very end looks and carries a train with his hand. A retired woman nearby cries, "Go away from the country, or you will get under the train, and we will not go anywhere." The good old lady...)

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52396
 26.08.2011
Lavins is Cinema. The middle of the session "Destination Point 5" in 3D. A tense moment, another hero dies. From the first row a young man stands up, throws popcorn into the garbage, rushes to the exit and says loudly, “I have a vision!” and goes away. From the back ranks immediately left man 5.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №52395
 26.08.2011
From childhood.
In the first class I taught proverbs. One of them spoke.
Work feeds, and laziness spoils.
So I, for a long time, could not understand what the elephant was about here.

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52394
 26.08.2011
I’ve heard that road cameras can’t register a car driving faster than 220-250 km/h.
WOW: Oh, that is, I can run up to 300 and don’t care about speed limits?
XHH: Yes, you only need to contact the controller and tell them that the take-off has gone well and you are moving into the height set.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №52393
 26.08.2011
Why do I always have tears after your messages?
I am Chipolino.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52392
 26.08.2011
Listen, Steve Jobs is not so funny to joke about - he underwent surgery to remove a cancer tumor, was able to return to the management of the company, brought it to the first place in terms of capitalization in the world by overtaking all the oil giants, while remaining a rather modest person (unlike Billy Gates) and now when he is older. And the sick man went on a well-deserved rest, your Khachikov jokes about Angi are absolutely not appropriate... For example, buy and eliminate this angi for him as I go to the bar for a beer... Well, joke about our notorious tandem – and that is more funny (although no more meaning)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №52391
 26.08.2011
FD: I was going to ask a doctor for a long time, listen, if I sometimes imagine cutting and killing people, cutting my nails out there, cutting my ears off... and getting pleasure from it... am I a bdsmist?
You have to go to a psychiatrist, maniac!
PERS: Whom are you breaking up?
fd: Usually as a telecast I watch, news there is official, advertising, talk show... hanging fucks, I hate, I would cut.
PS: Don’t go out! You’re not a psychopath, it’s your class hatred.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №52390
 26.08.2011
Egor
Thanks to the communal services, we have another holiday-Festival of Hot Water...

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52389
 26.08.2011
Are you going to make 7D movies? Is it how?
YYY: Wearing 3D glasses and a LSD tablet under your tongue, you get 7D.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №52388
 26.08.2011
Two months ago I went to my parents on vacation. Today I wake up and the first thing I see is a travel bag next to my bed. Dad knows how to subtly hint...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №52387
 26.08.2011
10 February 2008 at 23:42

The Princess
My parents went to Murmansk (I was sent to my grandmother again).

9 November 2008 at 20:12

The Princess
I will be giving birth soon.)


[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №52386
 26.08.2011
Steve Jobs’s departure from Apple was no surprise. This is stated on page 46 of the iTunes license agreement.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №52385
 26.08.2011
This is a pedestrian!!by 111
YYY: What has happened?? to
XXX: Fuck, I approach my window with the thought of removing my mosquito net.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Then I hear straight over my right ear a long whisper.
xxx:Bla, I look into the window, and there a mosquito grid in a semi-broken state hangs, practically on one of the plastic edges and on it the cat clinged to the nails splintered.
Tagged with:DDD
XXX: The Spy

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №52384
 26.08.2011
Fuck, when I see vacancies where they offer 7,000 jobs (in Kirov), I always remember one of the stories about Henry:
Who are they? I asked.
“Well, how,” he said, “these are people who hired girls and paid them five or six dollars a week. Are you from their shell?
“No, your immortality,” I replied. I just set fire to an orphan’s shelter and killed a blind man in order to take advantage of his honeymoon.

[ + 48 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52383
 26.08.2011
XXX I sena sberbank angry
XXX Grum client bank does not work any fucking with your pills
XXX is operational.
XXX I gru linuch under wien client sberbank start
XXX I clearly heard the phone hit the wall

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №52382
 26.08.2011
My wife comes from yoga:
We were shown this posture today, in which you stand for 5 minutes and the weight in the stomach passes.
I know one too, but there are only two in it.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52381
 26.08.2011
Advertising banner on the border:
"Crazy discount for travel to Thailand!"
Where is it??? between Iceland and Thailand? Mongolia for everyone!! to

[ + 55 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52380
 26.08.2011
A brother was flying from Munich to Tashkent, transferring to Paris.The plane was delayed 3 hours.The brother tells why:the plane took off in Paris, made a circle over the airport and sat back. It turns out, they forgot to go... and I thought such a shit could only be in Tashkent...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №52379
 26.08.2011
A woman who slips on a man's neck does not suspect that he slipped between her legs.

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