bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87512
 26.09.2013
Yesterday I bought food for 3 days in advance and hung the bag on the chair (as long as I was dressed).
The wife came, I hear the whispering in the kitchen and the knocking of the entrance door.
In a couple of minutes come into the room and let me drink that I didn’t throw the garbage and eat nothing.
I speak softly in the affix. In total, she threw out a package of products for 2500 rubles.
A pleasant appetite

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87511
 26.09.2013
Hello to you)))
You showed me the game.
Lily : what one?
Yes, that with the kiwi.
Lilia: With what kind of cheese?
Fuck, there was a cat.
She shot again.
Lily is a cat? Shoot it?
And yes ?
He also collected flowers.
Lily is a cat. was shooting. Collecting the flowers.
Skyrim is it?
Dadaada, of course! thank you ?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87510
 26.09.2013
A conversation with my wife:
“Sasha, I want something like this... Let’s do this: you cook pasta, and I’m a coward!”
Cooked trousers, and even pasta? Curiously, we haven’t tried it yet. But your girls are fantasy, they are so funny...
I am cheese, I am cheese. The pervert is worried!! and :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87509
 26.09.2013
We know these European companies.
We built a house like this nearby.
xxx: not enough that the doors are cardboard, so also the eye looks inside

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87508
 26.09.2013
Zombie apocalypse is not when zombies are on the street, but when zombies are in the movies, zombies in the games, zombies in the books, zombies in the pictures, zombies in the theater, zombies in the music, plus all this zombies in the government and zombies in front of TV screens.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87507
 26.09.2013
News headline: "In the griller of the administration of the Frunzen district a theft was committed"

In the district administration...
I always knew there were clowns.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87506
 26.09.2013
Postulate 1: Knowledge = Power
Postulate 2: Time = Money

Every student knows that:
Work / Time = Strength * Speed (1)

Replacing the ratio of two postulates
In (1) we obtain:
Work / Money = Knowledge * Speed (2)

After the conversion we receive:
Work / (Knowledge * Speed) = Money (3)

The equation (3) shows that if we pursue Knowledge or Speed to zero, we will receive endless money for any Work.

The more stupid and lazy a person is, the more money he can earn.

Quod erat demonstrandum

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87505
 26.09.2013
News on Soap:
The Defense Ministry allowed theft to disappear

Even the robberies and those about***li)))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №87504
 26.09.2013
Drblack
Stop to! It is inappropriate! He says shame.
Two years conditionally, at best. He says reason.
Fuck you fuck, fuck you fuck! The instinct of self-preservation.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87503
 26.09.2013
About the cat...
This thick sable-toothed white fell to my knees, sat on them on the pope column, the left leg lay on the table, the right on the mouse. Does she want to be me?? to
I’m going to replace you :)
At night, he presses from bed to the floor.
The computer is now seated to master.
If tomorrow I’m here to demand a boiled condensate and turn on the heater, that’s not me!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87502
 26.09.2013
(from the movie about zombies)

Proff: I went out after the session, the sunshine, the birds sing. Walking lights with time count. Only a few seconds remained until the end of the green signal. And then I saw that a group of people, obviously not having time to finish the crossing of the street, ran all the way toward me. This is where it covered me. That was the sapphire.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №87501
 26.09.2013
On the television in the morning they said: "As soon as a woman put on her heels - it's all, the brain is already busyining balance." That is what!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87500
 26.09.2013
Where is Anton-Gondon?
YYY: Am I an ebu-grebu?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87499
 26.09.2013
xxx: My chair is equipped with the "hren relax" system.
XHH: If you lay on your back, it will fall off.
Tagged: pff
ууу: My chair is equipped with the system "try to relax".
There is no single wheel. If you turn on your back, you will with a probability of 1 to 5 overwhelm your head and shake your head over the battery.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87498
 26.09.2013
Stanislav: Let’s leave our wives and go here to study
Alexander: Fuck you don’t have a wife, you don’t have a niche at all.
I think it’s easier for me :)

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87497
 26.09.2013
Here he meets a man with an iPhone. He cuts off his finger, takes the iPhone and rolls. There is a code block. by Opanki.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87496
 26.09.2013
Reading about the coffin for the fight against the mat, my friend, the sailor, said that on their ship they would in a week for a new Titanic.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №87495
 26.09.2013
Name an unusual female name.
Mary Magdalene
Maria: I will not call Dadrperma
Is it more melodic?
I am looking for a child's name.
Mary at midnight
Mary by Gaika
by Maria: ROCKFOR

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87494
 26.09.2013
"A very good job"
The best "programming" mistake of all I’ve seen.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87493
 26.09.2013
I think I made a fatal mistake...
He walked out of the office, in which someone struck, the first...

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