My husband and I bought a house and started doing repairs. The mother-in-law is pleased, she loves repairs. Although her help was not requested. In the morning I come from work, and in our house the mother-in-law has already carried out boiling activity, the solution was mixed, some of the old wallpapers were brought for some reason, she stood with her hands on the sides and said - "Here you will have a washing machine, but here under the children's room we will rework, I agreed with Masha to take some there, she bought new ones, the old ones will give you!" Continue in the same spirit. I was, gently speaking, very unpleasantly surprised by her self-government, but she couldn’t say anything. Let’s say, not today. I am sick tomorrow, thank you. And then I say to my husband - you explain to my mother how - somewhat more gently, that this is our house, we will decide ourselves where the child will be, where the washing machine. We choose the walls ourselves. I just say, find words, you know your mother better, and if I start speaking, you will get hurt. My husband is okay, I will talk. And the next day I come home, I sit my dear, sad one. I said my mother was driven out of the house. Why did he expel it? "Yes, I told her - do the repairs you want, and do not go to us, and Olga (that is, I) does not like that you command here." In general, the mother-in-law was upset, saying that her legs would not be in our house, and that we would never go to her again. She left, knocking the door. Oh, I say, you are a diplomat, dear, at least now in the MFA. And the mother-in-law brought us milk from the village for tomorrow, as in nothing. Since then, it has not been in our business at all. My husband is a diplomat.

First day of vacation in Batumi. I go to the store and buy wine for the evening. The seller (with a characteristic accent): “KartOschka?” A strange proposition, I think, but, maybe, this is accepted: “No, thank you.” I get the money, I count. The seller said: “Aa, cash.”

The secret of longevity: food for the stomach should be simple, and for the brain - complex.

Instructions for the electrophone. announced by Dmitry.
In the rubbish!
Passport for the magnetophone.
In the outlet!

In every house there is a box for documents. An old shoe box where old certificates are buried, passports for stolen clocks twenty years ago and crusts of non-existent organizations.
Periodically, space for new unnecessary papers in the "box" ceases to suffice. Then the owners arrange the “cleaning.”

From the yellow instructions flew out a white with purple paper.
"The receipt for the repair of shoes," Dmitry read.
You remember Tankin’s shoes. When I lived in the village. The old man works there, his name is Ashot.
- Ah, she then turned her heels on the stairs of ZAGS. Revealed, said the note is bad. Then I ran and forgot.
And then moving to the city. Are the shoes still in the shop? Five years have passed!
Let us argue!
For a Cognac?
It is going!
Get the car!

*** by

Shapohnik Ashot was considered the local celebrity of the village. There were legends about the old man. According to the first version, his grandfather sang in a choir with Mussolini. It was the ancestor of Ashot who almost destroyed the future dictator. On the other - just the grandfather saved Benito from the fists of classmates of the victim. Later, he struck the dictator's trust and almost personally disrupted the attempt at the "Great Three" in Tehran.

The shoe workshop village survived the fall of the Berlin Wall, the collapse of the Union and the devastating nineties.

At first Ashot walked into the room of a local household. Later, the household house was displaced, the hairdresser moved to the building of an empty store, the watchmaker occupied the room of the closed tires. The old Ashot chose as a workshop a brick barbed and abandoned by all in the courtyard of a household house.

The building of the household house went from hand to hand for a long time until the police took a look. The old man noticed that people with tired eyes and cloudy faces are increasingly wearing shoes to him. Sometimes in shape.
Mark was holding the shoe. Railway assessed and responded with reciprocity.

But not the proximity of the "organs" guarded Ashot. And the reputation.
Once in the shoe workshop were wrapped three brithogels. Probably with bad intentions. Stunned by such boldness, the officer jumped out of the office. Just the day before he gave his wife’s boots for repair. Injure the shoes - in the evening there will be a scandal at home, before which all the bandit settlements of the area will be darkened. His hand shrugged around the cobra, but it froze.

Ashot carefully removed the senseless bodies from the workshop.
- Sandro-jan, dear, call an ambulance, the guys are sick.

Domesticated racketers were later interrogated in the hospital. They refused to give details of what happened. There is a new legend in the village. It is said that Ashot in his youth studied with a Greek master of martial arts. He was invited to Armenia to train KGB personnel.

*** by

Staff and Staff! What has stunned?
The cat looked thoughtfully at the point on the floor. Silence suffered over the cherry bone. Ashot pulled out of his jacket pocket once a snow-white ping pong ball and threw it. Pulling off the old toy, the kitten pushed the new to the neighboring room.
The old man looked around the room. Compound with brushed pens. The abajur, red, bushy, sinking poor light on the plate, on which the cups and dishes are strategically arranged, so as to hide the unfresh spots. At the wall there was a bucket with a Chinese teaspoon permanently included in the socket. A closet across the wall, with numerous shelves. And a little shoes.
At the opposite wall is Ashot’s workplace. Right next to the window on the town street. On the window - a smoking tube - a gift of friends.

The entrance door broke. They argue behind the wall:
Nothing will work out!
You are afraid!
I am? Never ever!

The shoe came out.
Oh, Dima-jan, hello to you dear! Long time not entering. He said he moved to the city. As a wife, as a child?
Thank you Ashot. Everything is OK. All are healthy. I am behind the shoes.
Holding his breath, Dmitry extended the receipt. No muscle trembled on the shoemaker’s dull face when he saw the date.
Well, my dear, I will see. Ashot went into the neighboring room.

As a diligent master, Ashot never discarded the work he had done. An unwanted pair of shoes fell into a box for a year. The number was written on the side. The box went to the regiment. In the second year, he went higher. Five and more years - anthrax.
A box of shoes was found in an anthrax.
The white shoes. These shoes are usually purchased for the wedding. The flying hood. The work took half a day. A very modern style. Wipe out, bring it to normal form - and at least now under the crown. Not so valuable to come out of town in five years.
Recalling the dispute he heard, Ashot smiled in his luxurious beard. swallowing on the shoulders. Some men remain boys even after a hundred years.

I am sorry Dima-jan. Totally earned. I didn’t have time to repair. Come on tomorrow. Tomorrow will be ready.

I come, I mean, to the ZAGS to get married, and they say to me, "The bridegroom must be with you."
Please explain again, why do I pay taxes?! to