Idiots, get away from us.
The Left.

A cat with a bench attached to its tail, in its teeth, with its ears closed at the speed of the sound, runs away from the pidaras of the left.

To the Homer...
Remember, there are only two types of pimples. Those who begin to accelerate when you get out, and those who begin to slow down after you get out.

I don’t understand how some people can be so energetic and adequate in the morning? They probably never even tried to lubricate their ankles with a closed deodorant.

I sit at work and I get a phone call from an unknown number. A grandmother (B) is calling.

I am allo.

B – Who is it?

I – Who do you need?

B of July.

As you may have guessed, I’m not Julia.

So you are Sasha.

No, you were wrong with the number.

B – Then I call the police at your address.

I am about?

B for theft. (He dropped the phone)



After the phrase about the police, I was a little upset, because I began to think maybe at home what happened (theft or something else) and some neighbor wants to call the police, but I turned out to be just a robber of numbers.

P.S. I have this number for 12 years.

The girls who burned their underwear are now buying the underwear of “Victoria’s secrets,” and the boys who fearlessly climbed the world for the sake of peace are now the fat bodies who sit in front of their computers screens until late at night, pulling beer and blowing up on the internet on naked eighteen-year-old girls.
Stephen King

"And Stephen King, who once turned your political correctness on the h.y., now says he doesn’t care about the skin color of the Arrow."
Kingomania

One day, we were asked to paint a portrait of a neighbor. I stressed all my artistic abilities and painted Tanka very similarly. Even the teacher came and pointed out my work.

The model looked at the portrait and shrugged.

What are these spots on the nose? Shout it immediately. Why not paint?

Tanka scratched her hemp nose and continued to paint me in the style of a cucumber stick. I was jealous of her beautiful hair.

ValD: Photos on the theme of the trees that have grown through all kinds of shit delight people, but there are no photos of the bombs that live on the landfill for some reason. although the phenomena of the same order, "life will find its way" and other nonsense.

Little bee: Pictures of cats are delightful, but the photos of the Australian skyscraper poison-eater at lunch - not very, but also phenomena of the same order.

idNecro: Photo of the people in the studio!

Little bee: It’s deadly even through the photo.

Sergthegod: I came up with what it’s called when you want – you go, buy and eat and it’s not controlled.
Sergthegod: The Force

Prehistory: this year happened "Apple overtime", wife and aunt came to the country and gathered them*
I: * with an attacked nightmare * Something I want to eat, and what do you eat?
Wife: “Scrubs some food” This is an apple, do you want?
I: No, I don’t want an apple, do we have anything else?
Wife: There is an apple pie, there are apples carved, apple pure, apples frozen, apples baked, apples carved, apples carved, apples carved, apples in the car, apples in the basement.
If you want to eat, eat apples; if you don’t want apples, you don’t want to eat.

XHH: Shake up, the knee had been hurt for more than a year, I joined more accurately... And now in the garage I accidentally hit him with a hammer... I understood that everything was normal with the knee before that.

Ordinary school day. In 15 minutes the class starts. My classmates and I stood by the window and looked at the fresh footprint in the snow.



They said the guy who jumped out of the window from the school would be expelled.

Okay okay? This is a fool.



Yes, a guy from eighth grade stumbled out the window from the second floor of the physics cabinet. Why Why? The hell knows him. Maybe it seemed fun to him or he decided to raise the authority among classmates. In any case, the motives of the director did not understand and the student was successfully transferred to another school, but this is not the whole essence of the story :)



What was he thinking?

“Damn you know, it’s not high here, maybe it was lazy to go down the stairs?

Could I jump myself?

No, I do not need problems.



Here Vasya approached the window, opened it wide, and went down.

Why Why? Again not clear.



A crowd of students wrapped up an unfortunate window and watched Vasei climbing in the cage. He stood up and went back to school happy.

Again there was a fierce discussion among the classmates.

iiiiiii

At that moment there was a noise in the class.



What did you get there? Has anyone jumped again?

The Chorus *

not eaten

We just look.



Zavoch approached the window and looked at the swarm underneath the office.

What is this trace in the snow?

It is yesterday.

and yes! This is the guy who jumped yesterday



Covered as possible



It seemed to convince Zavoie and she went out of class. The scenario for Vasa developed as not safe, but...



My friends, this is your subject!



In the classroom came a wet, but obviously satisfied Vasya.

When he looked at him, he shook sharply.



The snow was falling from the jacket, there was no point in explaining anything.



10th grade Vasya finished in another school. ¯\ツ)_/¯

But this beautiful guy in the girl with the dragon probably gave his daughter, if she had them, also the right doll with a sincere interest!

Beware of the hair and hair

> Come and tell me this in the face. Or almost any barber. I don’t like my hair :)

This is really scary, even about "go" I am afraid to fix it somehow.

The Double

>>> Black is better than gay.

The Negroes are not gay.

In New York, a Negro rides in an electric car and reads the Torah in the idis.Agoing to him, an old Jew sits and looks closely at a Negro...a Book...a Negro...a Book...a Negro again...a Book...and asks, “Young Man, you have not enough of being a Negro?”

It’s not about dolls. The fact is that, it seems, the situation in the family is this: the father with the child does not talk about interesting things for the child, does not watch the children's favorite films together, does not play, does not sing songs with the daughter. I had a father in my youth, who could not tolerate the anime himself, but would easily distinguish, we sing with my brother, trying to imitate the Japanese, the screenshot from Grandixer or from Seylormuti. And Seylormercury with Seylorvenera would not be confused, although he personally did not give up the information "this doll is specialized in this celestial body, but this one is out of that".
The film - it's not "set the child for two hours, and I'm going to do my business", cartoons are "look together and discuss why the heroine does this and what she was wrong in";

Our closest enemy is our language.

Danya (3,5 years old) was very concerned about the issues of marriage and thought a lot on the subject:
I’m getting married to Grandma Faye.
My grandmother is busy! My grandfather married her 50 years ago.
I asked him. He allowed me.

The generation that charged water with a TV condemns the generation that catches Pokémon with a phone.

To re-learn the left, of course, is not necessary. Do you treat them like the right ones? Yes of course! But if they begin to demand a special attitude to themselves: to be greeted with their left hand, in the subway they reworked turnikets as convenient for them, etc. Personally, I would be strongly opposed.

by Nano! You are clearly right-wing and have never been interested in what the left lacks. But in France, in the office, all the writing supplies are not oak, as we do, but ergonomic, so that the joints do not spoil. And all the pencil-blocks-blocks are marked and duplicated - for the right and for the left.And in public toilets there are tournaments on top of both towers for the elderly - whoever has a supporting hand. This concept is strange to you, it is called RESPECT.