bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74943
 27.12.2012
Yesterday I had a wonderful evening passing into the night!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY With whom?? to
XXX: There were a few of us!
I, two sandwiches with sausage, a mandarine and... two series of Lieutenant Colombo!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №74942
 27.12.2012
I have such a shame at work. The cat brought the cavalier into the house. And they are currently multiplying...
Maybe a pair?
1 is oh! Certainly! That is what they do! Here this.. the suppliers go... congratulate the enthusiast... humbly pass.
2: They don’t seem to be coupling with you there... They would have coupled for a long time. They are cheating! Shake them up!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №74941
 27.12.2012
The universe 5 course. The ecology doesn’t care about it. The lecturer imagines himself as the master of the world, and ecology as the key to the knowledge of truth. It turns out that in order to obtain admission to the account, you need to submit another written work.
I ask the question:"When to submit a report"? I get an angry 5-minute tirade that this is not a report but an ecological reference!
A little reassured, the lecturer reports that the couple will not be next week, because. He will present a report at the World Scientific Conference.
And I should have flattered: "Not with the report, but with the report..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74940
 27.12.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Have you checked the gossip?

yyy (0:02) :
NOA

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wasted

yyy (0:04) :
is wasted?

You do not know what is wrong.

It’s in vain when you look at your 5 years in the universe and think you’ve fucked them.

It’s in vain when you don’t like a lot in life, but you don’t change anything.

It is in vain when you lie in bed in the morning, you want to suck, but you are lazy and you try to fall asleep.

This is in vain, not that I haven’t seen the fucking gossip.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74939
 27.12.2012
XHH: I came here recently to the gasoline station, to the neighboring column nine came up. She took her in front of me to the box. He says to the treasurer: “Ninety-two into the second four-three hundred.” The treasurer overtook the rack, looked at the second column with suspicion, and asked, “Will everything come in?” She said "Yes, everything" Well, I also think - well little, the second tank stands, a man is chasing in the distance or something else. Although nine - what she is there eating something to put such a tank... Well, not a lot, in general. Cash: "It’s about a hundred and fifty liters..." Driving: "Neeeeee!! I have four liters and three hundred grams!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №74938
 27.12.2012
I am standing at the airport in the meeting room. A five-year-old child is running around.
Why are you constantly turning around?Stay in place for a minute.
I am afraid that if I stand still, people will think I am a statue.! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74937
 27.12.2012
Alarik (community manager from valve) tired of arguing with our smarts about the need for antivirus

"All right guys. Your business. I am not your dad to raise you and teach you to live. Do not put an antivirus, do not attach, do not wash your hands, do not play sports, do not buy insurance, do not deposit money, do not put weapons on the security and do not use condoms.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №74936
 27.12.2012
Cut with a laser,

There is snow in the face.

Before I stop,

Not drowning shoes in the snow?



A plate is waiting for me at home.

Teller of peanut with white bull;

In the legs - a rubber heater,

It is soft under the chair.



In the iron bath there are two seals.

From there a villa with a lodge.

There are drinks and bottles of water.

She finished my lunch.



I will lay in a circle,

The “Cobzar” of Shevchenko –

Poetry of Petrara level

And Valentine Matvienna.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74935
 27.12.2012
Forum on Plans

...we will carry a phone, a tablet, a router (to connect all the devices for some reason), a camera (he photographs better than a tablet and a phone), a video camera (she shoots better than a camera) and a laptop (it is more convenient to work with a keyboard than a tablet). And in the evening we will charge the batteries of all the devices, or don't give god that sits down.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74934
 27.12.2012
Allie Nina, is it you?! to
Yy: You are an elephant cock!! (There are...
xx to!? O_O

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №74933
 27.12.2012
The boss said: “He’s driving home unusually early. A call from my wife:
Are you far away?
I will soon be dear.
Go ahead until your parking place is occupied.
He arrives at the house and calls his wife:
What are you there? Here’s the goat... Fuck... Some idiot is parking in your place!! to
“Hmm... calm down, dear, it’s me..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74932
 27.12.2012
Next to me was a guy in the electric car, listening to music in very large headphones with...PHOTOAPARAT :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74931
 27.12.2012
and Anton:
How are you dealing? What are you doing?)

and Angie:
I wonder what kind of dance I should go to.

and Anton:
Sports and sports )

and Angie:
and NOU.

and Anton:
This is... am... very fun.
Why is?

and Angie:
I would go, but I don’t need them.

and Anton:
Do you need a dance you need in your life?

and Angie:
and yes.

and Anton:
and capoeira.
A hundred pounds.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №74930
 27.12.2012
I sit in a line in the hospital, I am the last in front of me two others. A 40-year-old man in a wheelchair. The dead silence. Uncle who was in the wheelchair began to ask me about motorcycles and other things (not for nothing Harley Davidson's bag) scattered with the tongues - we were talking, he started rubbing me as I was chasing himself, said the local, and then the bat! And here I am tied to a chair, I am just driving in a wheelchair... I was taken by the soul, I have really started to re-evaluate reality. I didn’t notice my turn had come. He asks me, can I go? At first I did not pay attention to the verb in his question and answered yes, please. He took and went in. with feet. has entered. by Sam. I have hooked.

[ + 15 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74929
 27.12.2012
Antiis07: Good morning only for McDonald's workers. They smiled in the morning.
Starakanami: - You would have been so fucking, you would have also smiled in the morning.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №74928
 27.12.2012
Now the candy eaten "Gerasim and Mu-Mu";, there on the label of Gerasim popped and with him a healthy bowl in the boat)) mu-mu blin)

The Evil – Ascend

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №74927
 27.12.2012
Ohhhhhh Talk to parents about entering the university
Ohhhhhh At first I explained to my father that the coder is not the one who codes the men from the blue.
Ohhhhhh He then explained to his mothers that the programmer was not the one they had at work sitting behind the door with the inscription “You need administrator rights to enter here.”
Ohhhhhh I have some doubts about my choice of profession.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №74926
 27.12.2012
XHHH: I and I drive on m4 at 180 speed.

Watch not to hit at 2 km/h.

[ + 8 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74925
 27.12.2012
In Irkutsk, as in many cities, there is a Camelot clothing store. So, I heard a conversation in a row - the girl pulls her boyfriend:
Arthur, Arthur, where are we going for the shoes?
People with a serious face:
In the Camelot.
He almost died right there, in line, laughing.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74924
 27.12.2012
My inflamed brain today called the morning a “children’s corporation.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna