bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139178
 27.02.2017
Men who think that all gay people are going to kick your precious ass, you are miserable and funny. You have not given up to anyone :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139177
 27.02.2017
In the Gittimes discussion of weapons:

xxx: And all the Olympic Games are built around the simulation of combat actions: shooting from the bow, throwing a spire, throwing a nucleus, throwing a disk (shield), jumping with a six (initially a spire) and so on.
yyy: It’s scary to think about what combat actions simulate volleyball, table tennis, art gymnastics, curling or figurative skating.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139176
 27.02.2017
<xxx> and I'm raining behind the window) grandmother on top again borst through the shirt
<yyy> Close the windows and you will not have rain outside the window
<xxx> and you can do it yourself. Whatever it means (from listening to)
<yyy> moor*
<xxx> and you mur)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139175
 27.02.2017

"Hitler's phone sold with a hammer was a fake".

Thor’s hammer sold from the phone also turned out to be a fake.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139174
 27.02.2017
cTokep is!
ctokep: Two students from India moved to our group.
ctokep: finally our programming tutor will see the real, fresh and authentic Hindu code!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №139173
 27.02.2017
Miolz
Always be yourself. Unless you can be a dragon. Always be a dragon.

Reenbic
Miolz, you have now recounted the main strategy of my pile on the goblins in MTG.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139172
 27.02.2017
DecadenceLar: Remember, you said "Not only the one who does nothing is wrong"?
Viy: Well what?
DecadenceLar: friend, thank you for the great advice! Really helped!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №139171
 27.02.2017
When 50 kilograms of fat were sent to our house, it meant that one village pig in the world became less. And when a month later the fat was gone, it meant that now in the world appeared two adult pigs with higher education and two cute such school-age pigs.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139170
 27.02.2017
Google is shutting down its Spaces messenger just ten months after its launch. The service will be completely stopped on April 17, 2017

A-Stahl: Google often shuts down projects lately before I get to know about them :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139169
 27.02.2017
In the restaurant:
Barman, can I repeat it?
I repeat, I went...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139168
 27.02.2017
“Look, a man, and he has two strips. The woman is pregnant, I am afraid.
“Petrovich, shut up, drunk fool, we’re in the police. I apologize to him, Comrade Major.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №139167
 27.02.2017
Discussion of news:
In a year, a three-tiered healthcare system will work in Russia.
XXX: At the end of level 3, do you fight with the boss in the form of a chief doctor?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139166
 27.02.2017
Siri in the iPhone is the devil of some kind)))) I take my one-year-old daughter by the sleeve, I say, "Let’s go and try to sleep!"
And the voice from the phone suddenly said: "How is it, Julia?! It is now 12:20!"
I barely put my pants on, I replied.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139165
 27.02.2017
I see, the tracker poured "fantastic creatures" in quality. I say to my wife:
Today we will have a movie session, "Things" appeared.
She asks me whispering:
Neighbors from above?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №139164
 27.02.2017
XXX: I have a question.
xxx: Here the father calls his son by his name, and the son becomes, for example, Alexander Dumas Jr.
And if the son also calls his son, will he become an inch-average?
YYY: He will also be younger.
Yyy: But if a father has a second son and he calls him the same, then something is wrong with his head.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №139163
 27.02.2017
A family of philologists.
Husband (M) works as the head of the repair shop in the tram deck. Two blinds (C1, C2) come to him and blame each other, exposing a situation that contradicts any engineering thought.
M (half loud, without interrupting the controversy): “Hospadi, how tired I am of your scandalous...
C1: Anatolich, and we heard it!
C2 (seeing from C1): And we understood that you insulted us somehow, but we did not understand how!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139162
 27.02.2017
to this:
The cat is covered with cement. To wash or not to wash, is that the question? Suddenly, when it gets into the water, it completely cemented?

This is how the expression “Monumental Cat” appeared. and :)

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139161
 27.02.2017
I admire the female intuition. My phone ran out, I took a friend to call, tell my wife that I would be delayed.

She took the phone, and I, having no time to say anything, heard, “Yes, my unsaturated frog.” How did she know that I was calling? ! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139160
 27.02.2017
A cat on the chest that stops nightmares
And then someone calls to sink out of the kitchen and you realize that the nightmare is just beginning.

I remember a nightmare from a childhood when I dreamed that two identical dogs were walking around the house. And one of them tried to convince me to kill the other, justifying it by the fact that the appearance of the second exactly the same dog is suspicious, and a speaking dog is more fun than the usual.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139159
 27.02.2017
“Sasha, I specifically opened another account to apologize to you. You amused me right. I am a bitch and a bitch. A grandmother and a fool. I stumbled on you then and sent you to the fucking drink. And the rat, one of your white-collars in the stones, has fired me out. You are very good and fair. Sorry and I want to be friends again.
I forgive you.
And all of it? Did you not hide? Totally starring? Talk to me!! to
“I’m still sleeping, we have two hours difference with you. I went to write and I want to sleep a little more.
In vain I wrote to you. I apologized again. and forget. Sleep and go on the fuck! It was worse than before! Reading is disgusting. And the commentators are all fed, alone! I do not forgive you, wow!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna