bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №151862
 27.02.2019
It’s not easy to climb the career ladder. It is necessary to constantly turn away from those who are crawling down.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №151861
 27.02.2019
The oath

“The oath is terrible to the wise, but ridiculous to the fool.”

It was somewhere in the middle of zero.
I just moved to work for a new television company and my first day of work just came to a sluggish corporate on the occasion of the Soviet Army Day.
Nobody knew me, I knew nobody, I think during the intercom and we will meet.
A television company gathered at the table almost in its entirety: from assistants and administrators, to directors and operators.
Began toasts for the army, for men, for women who are waiting for men from the army, well, and all in the same spirit.
And since I’ve never tried any alcohol in my life, I’ve been lingering more and more on strawberries and tomato juice, but people quickly noticed that the new director isn’t drinking at all and asked: “Driving?”
My mood was playful, especially in a strange company, I didn’t want to give out the true reason for my sobriety and I decided to talk:

- Yes, you know, I am in shock, so sometimes I want to remember youth, drink, relax, just not to convey words.
Especially on such a day, and especially for acquaintance.
But this is the case, when I served in the army and was about to be dismissed in the first batch, we and friends-dembels got the selfie and, of course, after the defeat, we dropped a farewell drunk in the fleet, noted a quick defeat.
Shortly in the morning, we were caught by our captain, the commander of the company.
He was a man, but fair. We, of course, understood that today, instead of a dumbel, we will all go to the local hauptwacht and see our mothers only after the New Year, a month in three.
The captain suddenly says:

I am sorry for you, fools. Okay, let’s do so – if each of you here and now gives me his male word that he will never again drink any alcohol in his life. Never at all, not a drop at all. Then I forget about your drunkenness, and you go to the barracks to sleep and spend the days quietly travelling around the houses. Decide to.
We all gave our word. Everyone except one.
And here, it’s been more than twenty years since I can’t drink, not even at the wedding, or at the New Year. I only smell traffic. It’s awful, but for now I keep my word. Where are you going? No one pulled my tongue.

The audience was very surprised and after the pause spoke:

What fucking word? Let him go! You will think. Twenty years have passed! I would just dumb and immediately send this captain a picture of how I’m swallowing.
Old man, are you serious? Forget it! You were only twenty years old. You will think, the word given, if few people have any words given, especially on such a serious matter. The captain has long kept his promises. He forgot it a hundred times. Half of life passed. I, as a lawyer, say, he took advantage of your impasse and made a cabal deal. Especially in words. Drink and forget.
I objected that it was our conscious choice, because the one, who did not promise anything to the captain, the next day sat on his lips and actually stuck for another month for two.

Someone said:
- You need to find this captain, talk to him in the soul, maybe he will meet you and allow you to take your word. Not a beast. Twenty years is not enough. I have to agree. and?
And all the others how? Have they dropped too?
How do I know? Everyone spoke for himself personally.
Yes the trouble. It is a shame at twenty years to cut off the way to retreat. And now not even a glass of expensive vinyl drink. But nothing to do, a promise is a promise. Don’t let God get that way.

Many years have passed since then. Laughter is laughter, but on that day I immediately understood and a hundred times later I was convinced that of all the people in that television company, I could only trust those who advised to find a captain, or mourned about the expensive wine, but those who advised to spit and forget the oaths, I could never rely.
And not only me...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №151860
 27.02.2019
Today I saw an old lady helping a boy across the road playing with a smartphone.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna