The slogan of the day: "Everyone to the presidential election Prezhnev!"

My brother was a member of the commission on the legalization of self-construction buildings. For a long time, a middle-aged woman went to them, trying to design some extension to the house. Very intelligent, very patient. Each time she was given new comments and sent for a certificate. She listened to everything carefully, scrupulously recorded it in the notebook and returned in a month, again received comments, again went for another certificate. This lasted about a year. And during her last visit, one of the commissioners, apparently by mistake, categorically stated that the adjustment could not be legalized for such a reason. The woman fell into a stupor for a couple of seconds, then placed all the present and some absent representatives of the authorities with a three-storey mat, thrown into them documents, turned and went out without saying goodbye, loudly knocking the door. The Chairman came first. He stood up, gathered all the sheets and thoughtfully spoke, addressing the members of the commission: "It is necessary to legalize."

The Russian football team is suspected of using doping.
The doping of our team is brake fluid.

entered the site. Left news column:

The air in the aircraft poisoned the passengers and crew.

In Volgograd, a rage quarantine was declared.

The Ministry of Health spoke about the contribution of medicine to the improvement of Russian demographics.

There are no healthy high school students in Russia.

The outbreak of enterovirus infection closed the camp "Orlenok"

I wanted to add the mutation to the birds, at least, and the way of transmission through water. And then I realized it wasn’t a plague.

RBC news: "The Ministry of Education called for proof of the power of domestic theology"

Neither add nor take away, as they say.

The xxx:
I watched a tennis game and the commentator issued the phrase wow you need another eye. Question: Why am I roaring like a fool?
and ZZZ:
Because you are a fool :)

You have a phone, you can call and write SMS. So what shit do you pay for the internet, pursue 3G, 4G and so on to put on the phone a sling that allows you - attention - to call and write, and identify by the same phone number??? Where is logic?? to

And you, son, look at how much a minute of conversation, one SMS and a megabyte of traffic in a package cost. Can you count? Here and calculate the cost of one replica in the messenger, by voice and by SMS. Especially fun when you write with friends in another city. I don’t want to work on SMS.

I tell a friend that there are LED lamps in which you can reduce and add light. They are called dimmer lamps.
She can’t remember the name, then I suggest to remember as the name of the prime minister, Dima-dimmer.
In the store, she asks for LED light bulbs with an apple... yeah, you guessed correctly... with dimon.

I love my lab. At the wall there is a cage with a pair of wave-shaped puppets. Next to the binocular is a pen for flying flies, suspiciously similar to a female’s tail pen. It is assumed that the paparazzi were originally introduced as a renewable source of a working tool.

Friend, you don’t need to explain to me as if I’m your colleague, hug me normally as if I’m down.

They were on their birthday with relatives. Father watched for a long time how the children boasted to each other with spiners, and then issued:
Remove all your spinners. When I was a child, I had a real spinner – Julia was called!