bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №50889
 27.07.2011
The vacation. of Crimea. In the bed. I decided to diversify my sexual life, powerfully attract my husband and say:
Call me Lady and kiss my feet.
Why the lady? We are in Ukraine, then you!
Laughter is over.

[ + 67 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50888
 27.07.2011
We play words on "K"
Dasha: the cat boy is "cash"?
Tagged with: "Cats"
Grandmother survived

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №50887
 27.07.2011
Irina Sobyanina on the Red Square very liked the brick bridge. And she asked her husband that all the streets of Moscow be like this. “I don’t have time, do it yourself,” said the busy husband.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50886
 27.07.2011
"So is it so? Should I eat LSD or go with you to the closet?" It was after this phrase on Skype that I realized that I live in Peter

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №50885
 27.07.2011
xxx: nothing to yourself in the gallery of pictures dear
Are they paid there? And not just "Look how I can paint"?
xxx: "See how I can paint" in the museum)
zzz: no, in the museum "look how I KNEW to draw"))

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №50884
 27.07.2011
DEADLY:Bla, somebody advised to burn the jeans that I cut down the bottom of the shob it didn't go apart
Alex_CrazY: Did he burn us?
DEADLY: ah, I hold the lighthouse like a little bit burning, the smoke is coming
DEADLY: I pick up the jeans and there the fire inside burned
DEADLY: Inside the trousers meaning, and such a flame spotted
DEADLY: Happiness touched it begins to break up :)

[ + 88 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50883
 27.07.2011
A long time ago, an old hunter, Oleg let it be, told a funny case. There is such a breed of small hunting dogs, which are dragged from puppies to bears. Envious of the beast, the dog throws under his feet and intentionally bites the bear's dignity. The unfortunate mouse can do nothing from the pain and becomes an easy prey of hunters.
So, Oleg came out somehow with a puppy of this breed to walk an hour at 4 in the morning, expecting that it would be deserted. The puppy is a little longer than the hand. As soon as the corner rolls out a huge dog accompanied by the owner. Oleg immediately cried out to him, "Man, take your dog, I didn't cling to my dog." The man, assessing the size of the drizzle, contemptuously nodded and headed straight across. "Movie..." Oleg has not agreed. Immediately, the area was filled with desperate and horror-filled cries of a mad dog, to which the matyugs of a dumb dog were added. The Baskerville dog would crumble and get into the corner, hearing the whisper of the unfortunate victim of the dwarf, a crocodile stuck in the enemy's eggs. In a crazy split, the dog revolved around his head and his own axis at the same time. And this continued until the forces left the dog and Oleg was able to squeeze his teeth to his self-sacrificed predator. In general, everything ended well, take care of your animals and... eggs.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №50882
 27.07.2011
We sit in guests today, I, my grandmother and two aunts *='(* on the telecast started the Rambo 2, the aunt revives: "O Sylvester Stallone, my favorite actor, I love his movies so much" And I cried: "Ah, especially his very first films...". The puzzles went in... how could I know that my aunt knew that Stallone had been playing porn before?! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50881
 27.07.2011
Hahah, Hahahah, only this fool could swell up on the bottom of his girlfriend’s birthday so that he would say, “Girls, be pale!” instead of people. And most importantly with such a feeling that I almost slept.)

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №50880
 27.07.2011
xxx: at me at the balcony the carpenter jumped ppc :)
XXX: 8th floor
YYY: He’s been out of Japan a long time.)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №50879
 27.07.2011
Previously this was called fucking and accompanied by puzzles, and now it is called trolling and is accompanied by a smile and the phrase:"Well, you and the troll".

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №50878
 27.07.2011
The government is slowly debating when to give retirement: from 60 or 65

Yyy: Is it with an average life expectancy of 57?

[ + 60 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50877
 27.07.2011
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The customer wants to see the standard insurance contract, asks to send it electronically. I don’t have it, I go to the head of the department. The boss makes a surprised face and grit that in his memory no one has ever asked him, now he grows at his house. He doesn’t find, instructs me to call the service department, search there.
I call there, explain the situation, I am redirected to the control department. I already badly call the control department, I urgently want to see in my mail such an agreement in electronic form. The control department officer loves me to look for it now.
I wait. I wait half an hour. And the client has been waiting for more than an hour, I am angry, he probably too. Finally, an employee of the control department calls me and says the following: "I did not find myself, now your question will be dealt with by an employee of the business department." I waited another half hour. Finally, this dumb man calls me. He asks, “Do you need this contract in electronic form? I’ll send you to the mail.”
It sends 5 sheets in jeep format. I call back, I ask why in this format?
The dealer’s response kills: “You asked for it electronically. We printed from WORD (!!!!!) The document, then placed in the scanner, through the digital photography master scanned to you and sent.

[ + 53 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50876
 27.07.2011
Pavel 15:13:53Anko said that I look like Harry Potter. I comfort myself with the thought that on the one in the new series, I have not seen her yet. Maybe he’s there brutal, muscular, and with a machine gun, like a swordman in the second Terminator.


[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №50875
 27.07.2011
It is good to work in a chemical laboratory, even if the air conditioner is broken, then the fan and the duar with liquid nitrogen do wonders)

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50874
 27.07.2011
Announcement on Discovery Channel: “Imagine that animals have their own social network where elephants add sheep friends...”


[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50873
 27.07.2011
My only bad thing is that I sit in the basement.
I can’t even jump out of the window.)

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №50872
 27.07.2011
Q: What happened to the GP?
A: Yeah
A: Well, it ended up
Harry married Ginny Weasley.
They raised a crowd of children.
Snape, as it turned out, all his life
I loved Harina Mother and Voldemort.
Harry swallowed.
Expeditionary and mega-stick.
A: Dumb. gp = civil
Right, not Harry Potter!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №50871
 27.07.2011
XXX: How is it?
yyy: awakened in a cold sweat - dreamed that the camera turned :-) and so nothing
YYY: How are you?
I woke up in a cold sweat – I dreamed that I needed to work! Blowing up to work.

[ + 52 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50870
 27.07.2011
Especially “lucky” men from one tribe in Rwanda, this is a country in Central America. There, after the wedding ceremony, the bride went to the house to her husband not because of romantic moods. She relentlessly inflicted wounds and scratches on her husband. Sometimes this struggle lasted until the morning. His husband had no right to even say a word. And in the morning the funny bride quietly departed to the house of her parents to bring herself in order and sleep well. The next night the battle repeated. So, after the bride got tired of hurting her husband, or after there was no living place left for the latter, the wife allowed her husband to take off the wheel. Only after such torture is life in such a family normalized. However, witnesses say that after that husband and wife will never argue again. Here is!

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