bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №70686
 27.09.2012
Oh, how they climbed on a girl with a black part of the matrix.
It seems to have struck the delicate deomatic feelings of the delicate owners of deo matices.)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №70685
 27.09.2012
Today there was a wedding at the entrance and, as I realized, the bridegroom came to ransom the bride.
Time is 9:30 in the morning, screams are spread across the entrance: "I love you" (through the bridegroom needed to scream as loudly as possible to give him the bride). Crying, shit, louder and louder, I have already awakened myself even.. In the end, once on the seventh-eighth in response shouted a rough male bass, also on the whole entrance : " And I DO NOT LOVE YOU!!! Go on"
I don't know how the wedding delegation, but I couldn't calm down for a long time)))

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №70684
 27.09.2012
You know ZZZ?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY What else did she burn?
I came for lunch, sadness is straight, I try to find out what happened to what she answers with a sincere face "This is what life?! Salary is paid once a month, and work is forced every day!..."
WOW: *ROFL* is now my division of life!))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70683
 27.09.2012
Well, then can ordinary non-commercial sex, including in marriage, be prohibited? Need a pleasure - take off the prostitute, which will bring the state budget income.
YYYYYYYYYYY Wives and children on financial expenses make prostitutes like a flight to Mars.

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70682
 27.09.2012
On the topic "Shoes for her face":
My brother complains:
- She (wife) a dumb fashion, then she runs after me with a wallet: "Look, he is on the folds completely wiped out", then with shoes: "The paddle is behind, the repair was not taken", then with the shirt that our dog used. I ask what damn this shit in my face is, in response:"And that you don’t say that I buy unnecessary things". Where is logic?
I wanted to ask him the same thing.
Guys, I understand, of course, all families are different, and wealth is different for everyone. And, probably, there are ladies who are angry with fat, and they will have seven bags and shoes enough for all the ballerinas of the Grand Theatre. But after all, this is rather an exception, most families live very modestly, and 1-2 pairs of seasonal shoes are the norm. You take a look, maybe, and really the boots are no longer there, the coat of five years ago is covered by the donelze, and the dress the wife has already crossed three times. You complain that your wife has been walking home in the old coat for years. And where does she get a new thing if for every purchase one complaint? So they turn some time, before marriage, cared for women into dull aunts, risky on секонд-hends. But she also earns, and the family budget replenishes, not on your neck. And as on children, things are burning, and kids grow quickly... Only a new jacket was bought, and it was already small.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70681
 27.09.2012
If I see a beautiful girl on the street and want to meet her, how can I officially offer her to go for a cup of tea with me?

"I want to fuck" and "I don't want to be single anymore" is a completely different motivation for dating a girl. And girls under each of these motives should be chosen differently, because among us there are those who enjoy sex without commitment. They don’t want any attachments, and those who want a serious relationship want to take care of someone. This does not mean that the last sex do not want - they need time, because it is not so much about your external attractiveness, but about character, lifestyle, habits. Imagine that you need to choose a driver with whom you will drive in the car for a day, and a partner with whom you will work together for a long time. Agree that the selection criteria will be different, and you will think longer. And you choose the one that wanted to create a couple, and are dissatisfied then that she did not give on the first request, or the one that wanted to walk (per at your expense - but not the fact), and you are upset that you are not put in a penny, and are ready to walk not only with you.
P.S Yes, you are angry: "You find yourself fools". You are the one who comes to know us. And, unfortunately, on your forehead at that moment is not always written what exactly you want, and they say the same - and the seeker of adventure, and tired of loneliness. To figure out who lies, it takes time, and at least some experience.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70680
 27.09.2012
Where are all these "wits" about gynecologists? I worked as a gynecologist. There is no funny hero there.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70679
 27.09.2012
Tatiana: I am happy in a new office in Gorky
Tatiana: fuck here so cool, I even wanted a decree

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70678
 27.09.2012
He raised his angle to the level: "Shit, what a shit, who made these subtitles, there is a very different meaning."

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70677
 27.09.2012
Listen, and compot is cooked only from fruits or vegetables too? The vegetable compot is borst.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70676
 27.09.2012
The son of Gendry was taken to work. As is often the case with the major, the father is a man, and the son is a balbes. A colleague about him:
- Yes, not just nature rested on it, she arranged a picnic on it - with a fireplace, with shells, with dances naked under the moon.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70675
 27.09.2012
1st What are your plans for Saturday?
2nd General cleaning of home
1st And then?
2nd You haven’t been home for a long time... "Then" can only start on Monday :D

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №70674
 27.09.2012
Now I know what genetic memory is.
The son in the garden conflicts with a boy named Egor. It comes to fighting. Today I found out who his parents were - well what to say, his father and I also fought at school once.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №70673
 27.09.2012
I am studying medicine. Find a topic for the diploma. The older nurse introduces colleagues from the clinic where she works:
- This is Vitaly Petrovich, head of the department of pediatrics. The kids love him very much!
Dmitry Andreevich is our chief surgeon. A high level professional!
Galina Pavlovna – ear, throat and nose.
Nikolai Nikolaevich is the best in premature ejaculation.

[ + 15 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70672
 27.09.2012
To get a loved one back, you need to sit naked for three days.

[ + 22 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70671
 27.09.2012
The Lord of the Light wants the enemies to be burned, the Drowned God wants them to be melted. Why are all the gods so cruel animals? Where is God tit and guilt?“!”

Game of Thrones (Game of Thrones)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №70670
 27.09.2012
HHH
Good morning, tomorrow in the universe.
WOWU
No, I am not there.
I need to go to work)
HHH
What are you doing?
WOWU
Where is? At work or now?
HHH
My profession is murder and
Distributed and yours?
WOWU
Mys is not so.
Interesting, I give credit
people
HHH
clearly. You destroy families and dreams.
You go into hopelessness,
Choosing houses, apartments
of property. You say uninteresting.
WOWU
This is their personal.
Right, I am no one.
I forced)
HHH
Sleep and remember, old lady.
Authorship, Rodion
Romanovich does not sleep.
I think about the question:"
Am I shaking or right?
Is it"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70669
 27.09.2012
B: Dad, you are very smart. Why are you going to the mountains?
Q: Because I am an alpinist, my son.
How does the saying “the wise man will not go to the mountain”?
P: This, my son, is for the prefers...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70668
 27.09.2012
Fuck it again...
All is normal, pfff :)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70667
 27.09.2012
Dear pedestrians, please do not change the trajectory. Very difficult to react.
With respect, cyclists

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna