Not when the past is with us, but when it is ahead of us.

She carried a cat in the plane in the cabin, while she fell asleep, he escaped. All the passengers are asleep, I walk through the cabin, quietly whisper, so as not to wake anyone up and get what the cat has released. The stewardess approaches and says:
“Don’t worry, he’s with the pilots, they’ll bring him back closer to landing, we’ve fed him. and rest.

The warning of the Ministry of Health on a pack of cigarettes "Smoking leads to impotence" is ineffective. “Impotence leads to smoking.”

I spoke to my girlfriend recently and she said:

I don’t understand why guys love porn so much. What’s so interesting about watching two people have sex?

I answered:

Two of them??? The people! → So, and I’t watch.

I come somehow to arrange in one office, which is a regional department of a large company.



Interviews a young man who suits me as sons.



Given my age, I decided to start off.



He begins to ask dumb questions and tests for first-class students. And likewise, all kinds of tricks like getting up from a chair without bending your legs under it and not bending your body, catching a bill flying between your fingers, etc.

In short, all those tricks that the students of 9th grade who know physics at least a little bit.



I looked at the case, and I say.



Can you do these tests yourself?



- What a family, I am the head of the department, call me Ivan Ivanovich.



“Ivan Ivanovich, you will be when you are my boss.

I repeat again. Can you do it yourself?



Of course, I work here, so I have passed all these tests.



I doubt, because these tests cannot be performed because of the laws of physics.



When I realize that I no longer have any light here, I begin to troll it.



Now let me introduce myself. Sergey Semenovich I work in your main Moscow campaign "secret buyer". I travel through regional representative offices and check their work under the guise of a visitor or candidate for employees.



And if you do not now complete all the tests that were required of me, you will be fired for incompetence.

(I would like to remind you that it is not possible to perform them physically.)



That was the look. I have seen such horror in my eyes only once before.



Having said that I’m coming tomorrow and he has the whole night to train, I dropped out of there.

I think it was the longest night in his life.