bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107474
 28.12.2014
Before the release of the fifth iPhone, all my friends believed in the advertisement and persuaded me that there would be holograms. Now I understand that I have trouble, since I only know idiots.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №107473
 28.12.2014
I walk today on the main street of the city, listen to music, admire the snowfall, think of the eternal. In front of me are 2 students, at 1.5 meters maximum. The smaller begins to smash the smaller. Gives the heels so that the hat flies. He picked up his little hat from the floor and continued. I, as an active citizen, a hero and all that, speed up, take off my hat and say, “Keep it and don’t do it anymore.”
In 1 second, a whole train of thoughts flew through my head: 1.Hey, he is bald.
2nd high school student.
There are no fucking schoolchildren.
4 is a man.
This is his father...
The man fell into a stupor and until he got out of him, I turned sharply to the left, went outside the corner of the house and fled.
It was uncomfortable because I wanted to do something good.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107472
 28.12.2014
Q: Do you know what it is to suck?
WOW: Well...
HH: Don’t even bother.
XHH: In short, I went yesterday with Antonha in a state of middle support on the street.
And we see the inscription on the fence: Anton Gandon. Melon was written.
That affected Antonia’s feelings.
XHH: And he squeezed that inscription from the fence.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107471
 28.12.2014
He was rescued and his mother rescued. Then two nurses and Egorych, barefoot on their left leg, finally freed from the hated splinter, transferred the nursery to the hospital on bearings.
When she, already quiet and pale, was lying, covered with tiles, when the baby sat in the wardrobe next door and everything went well, I asked her:
Why, mother, have you found no better place to give birth than on the bridge? Why didn’t he come on a horse?
She answered:
The father did not give the horse. Five verses, he said, all you will come. Grandma is healthy. No horse to hunt.
“Your fool and your pig,” I replied.
“Oh, what a dark people,” Pelageya Ivanovna sadly added, and then somewhat sneered.
(C) Bulgakov "Notes of a Young Doctor"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107470
 28.12.2014
With Dairy:
The Japanese, by the way, and the Russians saw about traffic accidents on the roads :horror: they even for Russia their name, or as they now say, they invented - おそロシア (from jp. osoroshia is a fusion of the words "osoroshi:" - terrible, scary and "roshia" - Russia", respectively "terrifying Russia")

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107469
 28.12.2014
And what, is the hospital pregnant women-not yet-deleted with a severe course of pregnancy not placed?
Everyone’s situation is different: one employee broke his leg, after a couple of weeks everything was remarkably hardened and got out (it’s true, another week his office work was limited), and the other – also broke his leg, but with a shift, surgery, a killed joint, the implantation of some kind of metal stick... for more than six months on his feet, hardly the final disability passed. Probably, and here the same - where one quietly finishes at least until the eighth month, the other will not get out at the second from the hospital. And the same woman with the first and second child can work differently.

The discussion here reminded me of the old quote "Look - I have exactly the same leg, but nothing hurts!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107468
 28.12.2014
Sysadmines more than other men hear the phrase "go into me")))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107467
 28.12.2014
to this:
Here’s how you live as a brutal cyclist and you don’t know the grief, and here’s the oh! The mouse!! And suddenly you are all such a girl-girl, standing on the board and demonstrating the upper “la” of your lyrical soprano.

Upper left, it is:"Blue Blue"???? and :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107466
 28.12.2014
The ruble falls.
The euro is growing
Engage in this
Soon is New Year!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107465
 28.12.2014
How to eliminate manipulation? When they speak quickly, there is no pause. Where there is no pause, there is no room for reflection. It is a continuous flow, hysterical-paphosic, with repeatedly repeated human-hateful vocabulary, it melts you in emotions of despair, fear and aggression. You are fully and entirely in the power of the speaker. These are basically military strategies: you don’t have to think about it, you hear the “Ply!” command and somewhere on social media you’re already shooting the one you’re pointed at.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107464
 28.12.2014
Translated into a language where the causes and consequences are correctly arranged: the woman was lucky with her health and all pregnancies were easy enough, so she continued joyfully to build new and new in the presence of young children. If it had been rinse for three months without the possibility to eat anything, and then put it on preservation at all - of course, it would have grown up before the new pregnancy of the older child at least until school.
So it wasn’t a “no problem during pregnancy because a bunch of children,” but a “no problem because there were no problems during pregnancy.” As a result, the logic turns out - the Olympic champion is running - so his leg is not broken. Let's go and you on your broken leg, jump off the couch and run, you are lying here and sleeping.

ZY: You can't tell me, WHO's scared of all the toxicosis discussed here? Include already the rubric "the cat ate a tree, the cat ate mandarines, the cat ate olives"!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107463
 28.12.2014
This is how you live as a brutal cyclist and you do not know the sorrow, and here - oh oh! The mouse!! And suddenly you are all such a girl-girl, standing on the board and demonstrating the upper “la” of your lyrical soprano...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №107462
 28.12.2014
It brings memories:
I was unlucky – I got pregnant in the third grade. Misses are unacceptable, for misses of work, and classes we have 6 hours...Eat no time, and not for what, because your child is your problems, as my mother told me and closed the refrigerator to the lock. Well, I studied, I slipped out of the skin, just to not let classes go...On the last day I ran like a racer, I passed a disgusting colloquium - I go home - I feel everything, it is time. I came to the nursery, gave birth in 45 minutes, I didn’t have time! I have classes! And when I now, many years later, read about the regime of the day of pregnant women, and nutrition - I just cry out of envy. Well, this is what I do - indulgence to capriciousness turns any woman into a monster. And if the conditions are very tough, then there will be no caprices.

of harsh conditions. I go in the tram, the term is 8 months, a lady floats up and rushed, that is, the youth of today - will never give up. The old lady sitting in front of me embarrassed her, saying, “Look at who you are chasing.” A woman reluctant to acknowledge her wrongdoing cries:
You’ll think they were born in the steppe before!
The old lady looked at her carefully and kindly said:
Well, if you gave birth in the steppe, you are still in the tram.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107461
 28.12.2014
In general, I think the saying "as you meet the new year, so you spend it" is not quite correct. Rather the opposite "how you spend, so you meet"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107460
 28.12.2014
DerArto: 2014 is unique. In it, people who had no money savings felt happier and calmer than those who had them.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107459
 28.12.2014
Damn, three days before the New Year, and they are about politics and hormones. Champagne and mandarins were discussed. Do not forget the anecdotes.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do?
and nothing.
How nothing?
And why?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107458
 28.12.2014
Here I like these friends who are looking for a sponsor on the "sponsorship", starting with words like "I am looking for a decent man for a rest together.". "Ordinary" is the one who, having paid for her journey, will understand what she will ultimately not give?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107457
 28.12.2014
Yaroslav Filimonov
Under "Smoke May Beast" even a video where a cat lacks milk becomes hardcore.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107456
 28.12.2014
I call a friend on the phone, takes a daughter:
Hello Hello Hello.
Hi to you.
Dad at home?
No, he is sleeping
When he comes back, let him call.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107455
 28.12.2014
There are people (and most men are like them) who don’t like children at all. Even their own. Because children are selfish, hysterical, noisy impasse ages up to 12, and then they turn into teens and get even worse.
*****************
As in an anecdote:
A man stands in a museum in front of a portrait of Hitler's mother and says, "What a beautiful woman. Why should I not have an abortion on time?

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