Last night I stood in a row at a rural shop. In front of me is a man of 40, a woman seller is a little younger.
M is a man, P is a seller.
Hello, do you have cigarettes?
Q. What do you need?
Maxim is red.
No, there is no red max.
M – What are they?
P – There is none.
The neighbor has a younger son who is constantly sick. I can hardly remember the days when her child had no pain. Then he grows, then he has a fever, then he coughs, then his fist moves on his fist. Treat with pills, injections, mixtures and other things. And I don’t know whether it’s because of medications, or because of a weak immunity, or because of the fact that the child is rarely out, but the color of the boy’s skin is constantly painfully pale.
And then one day I go to work, I watch a neighbor with her little boy get up. And the boy's appearance is such as a bitch, a ruby on the face appeared, the glow in the eyes is shady. So I greeted them with exaggeration:
Hi to you! Is your fighter recovering? Oh well, the cheeks are broken!
The neighbor shouts:
What a place! We just have a diathesis.
They call me and I raise up:
Listen to
Hi, I am on the announcement.
Hi, by which one?
As for work...
In what exactly? A microbiologist?
- Yes
Where did you work? What did they work with?
What do you have to do?
Growing bacteria
The bacteria??? Is that not dangerous?
to Goodbye.
My uncle was a pilot. I’ve been flying an An-2 all my life. I frequently visited him and the passion as I loved to fly with him. The mail was delivered, the cargo. He also taught me a little. And then in the summer of 96 he calls me and says:
- I was thrown a halter here (the bandits pressed the plane and asked to drive it to Ufa) the aircraft was asked from Orenburg to Ufa to move. You want a computer, right? Flying with me? You buy it and I will buy you a computer.
Flying of course! What Questions?
Early in the morning a man came after us and we went to Orenburg.
We came, we were met, we were fed. Let’s show you the plane. We arrive at the airport, and there the Tu-134 stands.
Do you need to fly this plane?
They say, this one. Are you not a pilot?
I’ve been flying an An-2 all my life.
Oh, what a difference! What kind of man do you want to give up?
“Men, I said I am an An-2 pilot.
Well what? I know how to drive a car, do you think I can’t drive a truck?
There is a crew of 4 people. I need a shuttle mechanic.
- Fuck you are carrying, here to fly 400 kilometers, it is not possible without an assailant, right?
Which as they managed to peacefully explain that there are “some small” differences in the technique.
It was time!
Hi, how do you cut your hair?
Hello, please give me a hat.
I : well. Starting a haircut
Client: Oh, and Natasha has cut me in another way...
I : Yes? Why are you sitting with me and not with Natasha?
Client: Oh yeah you know! She cut me so badly last time.
I: 🤨
It is important not only to be able to live easily, but when it is hard not to die.
Dogs are also humans... or express your thoughts correctly.
A brief introduction for those who did not hold and/or raise four-legged children:
If you approach education seriously, then relatively quickly in addition to performing the simplest, all-known commands such as "sitting", "place" and so on. Dogs begin to understand phrases. For example, my dog was quite digesting phrases like, “Well, go, show me what happened.” He honestly led to the scene and, as far as he could, showed what had happened there... And from the moment they began to interpret phrases, if the phrase was not pronounced accurately or unthoughtfully...
Moscow, metro Kiev... A thick stream of somewhere/where else following citizens... Frames of metal detectors... Comrades in shape, when carefully, and when not very watching the reactions of the frames on passing through... A bit on the side of the kinologue with the dog... A dog tired so much that he sleeps (on a special carpet), as they sometimes say “without the back legs”, and sees his dog dreams, wherever he runs there, turns, in short: he sleeps very strongly, despite the surrounding noise (separate respect for those who have achieved the presence of these most carpets, they did not have before).
The metal detector overcomes the semi-treated or slightly drunk, here whoever likes, I will be tolerant, a man with a healthy tissue bag. The guard doesn’t like something, asking to open the bag. And there... A lot, a lot of bullets, each wrapped in a separate newspaper. Comrade, in Russian, apparently not very, emotionally explaining something, begins to unfold/turn one fist after another, showing that there is nothing forbidden. The guards turn on a calculator for counting the time of unfolding / turning all the balls in the bag and there is a grief in the eyes.
Here one of the guards comes up with the idea – “Let’s show the dog? And let’s let it go / bind it depending on...” And with signs show the man to show the bag to the dog, he also with signs shows that he is afraid of the dog, such as – show yourself...
The guard calls the filmologist, he wakes the dog... The dog is not awake and still understands nothing, but he follows the owner... The guard decided to complete his idea with a check, as well as show his significance, and he himself gives the command to the dog that has not yet awakened: “It’s you, check!”...
Hearing this, the kinologist begins to chick, but looks at the dog and sneezes him, confirming the command given by a stranger, such as performing...
The dog, having received the confirmation, quite logically to his dog’s point of view, interprets the phrase:
1st It was given to him;
2nd Asked to check;
Three He did not sleep, why was he awakened, but he still wants to sleep;
4 is Once this is given to him, he can check what is there after sleeping.
Therefore, under the sincere rust of the filmologist and the confusion of everyone else, he takes his bag, takes it to himself on the carpet and goes to bed further...
P.S The bag was given...
But gentlemen, keep an eye on the words, not only people can misunderstand you :)
When he saw her, the smart clock measured the pulse, and the smart mobile bank locked the card.