bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110023
 28.02.2015
The Electrical Monitors:
Who broke my flat screwdriver?What kind of crucifixion do I have?
Tagged: evolved

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110022
 28.02.2015
A girlfriend after she was dropped a link to a quote with a neuron beating about the neck bone

Do you know how cool it is to be a doctor? You begin to see new lines of jokes that the author did not even suspect.
XH: the occipital zones are visual. This neuron was responsible for displaying the image with the author.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110021
 28.02.2015
Last year’s quote:

xxx: "The dollar may jump to 40 rubles tomorrow!This is 30 percent of the old exchange rate!" - the Russians are terrified. The hryvnia dropped from 8 to 13 for the backs! Catastrophe!" – Ukrainians can’t get back from the shock. And only we, the stable Belarusians, remembering how the backs jumped from 3000 to 10,000 of our rabbits cannot understand what to worry about such little things.

******************************************************************

Now the Slavic brothers are once again united.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110020
 28.02.2015
I am looking for gas. A civil anti-gas system. I looked at the advertisement board.

The anti-gas GP-5
Category: Collections and Collections (UGU!!! The Gp-5?

The anti-gas GP-5
Category: Industrial Equipment

Anti-gas IP-46 (military, closed system)
Category: Construction (O_O I am afraid of our builders)

I-I and I!!! HIT is!! to
Protection and Rescue Equipment (PG-4U)
Beauty and Health (Darling you your eyebrows pulled out???)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110019
 28.02.2015
"Today I will go to bed early!" from the creators "Tomorrow I will quit smoking!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110018
 28.02.2015
Are your children on March 8th? Or children in the hands, a gift in the teeth, and quickly fled to rest and celebrate?
— — —
Do you know that grandmothers are different? My mother - I can let you go for a clock if necessary, but then I have everything scheduled for a few minutes. But you can bring your grandchildren any other day. and tomorrow? No, tomorrow I can’t, my friends come to me. No, tomorrow afternoon I was going to work at home, I will not have time to watch them. Let’s go in a couple of weeks, only first have to check how I am there with time". Of course, on March 8th, she will only have flowers, grandchildren will not be lucky. And the mother’s wife "Why didn’t they come last year? Send in the summer for a couple of weeks of children, we go for berries, go for a walk on the lake, friends with their grandchildren will come - it will be fun for children. For her, grandchildren in the house are the best gift. No flowers on March 8th :)

Don’t think, I don’t complain and don’t blame, just all people are different and obviously not knowing the situation to blame people that they plunged children to grandmother, and even on the holiday – at least incorrect.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110017
 28.02.2015
I flew to the savannah, jumped with a parachute, went to a massage, dived with an aqualance from a yacht. She travelled half the world, descended into the volcano’s slope and looked from there to the starry sky. And yet, there is nothing better than just falling in bed with your loved one in the morning. Learn to be happy without impressions, but just so. every day.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110016
 28.02.2015
Davecha closed the male toilet at work, went to the general client. Closed and cleaned. I went to smoke, we were around the corner, I was already drying, I watched the cleaner passed by. I go to the goal, and from the clothes are two beautiful fairies, under the age of 35. I go in, I open the cabin (it is the only one), and there the lowered chair is wrapped, the floor next to it is also in sane, not wrapped, and the used paper is rolled right next to the toilet. He healed. I approach to wash my hands, and there the dishwasher as it was dry cleaner wiped, so it stands. The fears did not even wash their hands.
I would very much like to advise the resentful male "coaters" ladies to first look at themselves and others like themselves.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110015
 28.02.2015
In our garden on 7 keys a few years ago another apple tree collapsed. They started to dismantle it on spare parts to take it out of the site - and there is a nest. The shirt. of aluminum. Forty dragged aluminum wire from somewhere and struck the modern palace. A distant relative who carried out the dismantling of the tree, first roared that the nest would be destroyed in the flower plantation. When he spent a few hours disassembling the nest, he was no longer laughing)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110014
 28.02.2015
Zem: I’m not sure yet awakened... I read: There is more protein in avocado than in other fruits.
This is what fucking protein does in avocado.
The state of something like in the United States - avocado
What proteins do in other fruits
Here is the state of fruit.
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110013
 28.02.2015
1st Have you forgotten what kind of happiness you have?
2nd Colonel of Justice. Remember the song of Snoor "Where are you pale"? There are the words: “Not rich, not famous, not Lieutenant Colonel.”
2nd I still have the same thing.
2nd Only Colonel

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110012
 28.02.2015
I thought here everything in the world has already been discussed, but in which pants to squeeze a member is five!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110011
 28.02.2015
I fell to the bottom, but the bottom rejected me.
WOW: What, even at McDonald’s didn’t get a job?
HGH and HGH (

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110010
 28.02.2015
It is such a feeling that school teachers exhibit assessments to parents.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №110009
 28.02.2015
Let me ask you, have you witnessed a miracle? And the miracle of the invisible, as if quite ordinary for the doer of it? Well, how, say, a random neighbor on the garden bench suddenly rises up in the air to just get the newspaper out of under, and then falls to the place, and start to read it, and then even smoke out of the finger? And at the same time, he is not looking for any witnesses, but as if his miracles are completely natural for any of us, right? No is? Did not see? And I saw. And my shock was so great that even now, a quarter of a century later, I remember everything to the smallest detail.

If you believe the movies, the typical Russian morning begins with the fresh cries of cockroaches, sweet bread smokes from baking tubes and the quiet rise of a golden candlestick over the Orthodox domes. Maybe maybe. I do not argue. But every day in Russian construction begins with an exhausted mat. This morning was, unfortunately, no exception.

The morning’s frost shaken the roar of Nicholas Browkin, a huge and terrible brigadier of cable workers. He breathed into a huge gorilla-like chest, there alchemically turned it into a mat, and erected it outward, targeting the bulldozer's cabin. At the same time, the turbodiesel of the super-powerful Komatsu shamefully silenced; he simply lacked strength.

Waiting for the first wave in the exercise "flash from the left", to the epicenter, on the thin legs, sitting down and stumbling, a recent graduate of the polytech, he is a newly sculpted master of the site, ran. It was me.

It turned out that the bulldozer, this worthy ruler of the steel bar, confused the workplace, and carefully lowered the ground along with the indicators above the cables we laid last week. This meant that now any fool (and just their cultivation is actively engaged in construction) will soon start to drill and dig just in the place of their passage. Murphy’s Laws were stricter to us than the abstinence under the arrow. And that everyone knew that the unmarked cable is replaced at our expense.

Something had to be done to find and tag the cable. But what? My brains were twisted, writing in my brain concerts on this topic. The decision did not appear. Something remembered the special instruments for searching for lines, but in our conditions I could quickly get them, unless only to find the basis of the rainbow, and ask the dwarves there.

Meanwhile, Browkin drove away with his marvelous matches the bulldozer that rattled far beyond the boundaries of the praide and returned in a good mood. For him, this incident was just a useful breathing exercise, such as tai chi. I tried to pretend to be a boss, fixed the sliding bracelet, climbed terribly and asked as strictly as possible, “Well, Bougor, what will we do?” He instantly overwhelmed me, and in his performance I spoke somehow with the whispering voice of the school jabe. And then he burst peacefully: "what to do, what to do... to look for the cable of our..."

Pulling between his beards and his beard a curved "Prim" from a mint pack, he approached a bunch of garbage and squeezed out some aluminum wire. Riddled by the smoke, he broke it into two pieces, and then bended each with the letter "G". He took in each of the fists a piece, and holding them, like toy pistols, began to walk a zigzag, sometimes failing with pudry kirtzacs into an unfreezing swallow. I followed the trail. Nicholas did not turn away from his wires, holding them in parallel. Suddenly they crossed. “Oh,” he pleased, “he seemed to have found it. What are you worth, put the veil!” I obeyed. Browkin continued to walk with the bars, I pulled random sticks, and soon our tracks were drawn on the ground.

I followed the brigadier with a strange sense of joke. This could not be. But the workers pulled up, and began to hit the standard markers instead of my sticks... no one was surprised or scratched. That was normal for them! How is? Is it comfortable to work with a person who easily feels the unconnected cable underground? The worldview was quiet. Diko wanted to leave and think of vanity. Instead, I asked to try it myself.

I took another warm wire, relaxed slightly, as Browkin advised, and grabbed, clinging to the field. The wires fluctuated in the tact of my steps, but remained parallel. Hands are frozen. I understood that there was no hope, but the passionate desire for a miracle only grew.
Suddenly, at one step, they stopped. by Mama. I took two steps back. They have separated. to forward. They crossed. still ahead. separated again. I also found a cable.

It turned out that almost everyone in the brigade could do this. I was taught, and in a week I could even distinguish underground water pipes from cables. Then I made myself a pair of stainless electrodes and wore them in my boots. And the miracle, becoming ordinary, has lost its sharpness of magic.

Then construction was completed. I have gone. A lot has happened since then. There were many different people, cities and even countries. But I will never, never forget myself, such a young and unreasonably joyful, wandering in a dirty cotton, with a drop on my nose, stuck on two unequal glowing wires...

And suddenly they came together.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №110008
 28.02.2015
A true Russian patriot must have: children in England, a account in Switzerland, a house in Germany, a villa on the Canary Islands, an apartment in America, a position in Russia.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110007
 28.02.2015
Announced by:
Please do not knock on the glass.
The programmers are easily frightened and start to cry. and disastrous.
To avoid an incident, enter slowly, singing loudly "Ave Maria"
thank you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110006
 28.02.2015
via mi3ch@lj:
Cranes can bring various gifts to people who take care of them - for example, feed them.
This can be a cushion, bushin, jewelry, coin, bottle cover, insert jaw (O_O), feathers, flowers, etc.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110005
 28.02.2015
11111: how do you the genre of the game - "philosophical puzzle with a first-person view"?
2222: This is my life.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110004
 28.02.2015
xxx:The high qualification of our staff makes it possible to sell nails only of high quality.
X: What kind of narcissist did this write?
YYY: The drunk dogs have the nails, it’s all right.

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