bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №153858
 28.02.2020
I get into the bus and I hear a typical ad: “Give up seats to people with disabilities, bla-bla.” An avid old man, pushing behind me, says, “You can think, people with unlimited possibilities on buses.”

And it is true.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №153857
 28.02.2020
xxx: Now the practice is widespread 1-2 days a week to work from home even in pretty cool companies. is cool



YYY: On Saturday and Sunday? I did that as a child!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №153856
 28.02.2020
A dream quickly fulfilled, somehow very much resembling a dungeon.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №153855
 28.02.2020
I have lived on the Canary Islands for many years. In search of oil for my car, on a holiday day (car stores are closed) I rode 13 gas stations, but there was no 5w40 anywhere.
Last hope, I go to the gas station next to the Mercadona (a large, well-known supermarket in Spain).
There’s a group of men at the oil shelf, I bow down and see the 5w40!
I catch joy.
The men, judging me from head to foot, are sure I don’t understand them:
“Madame confused Mercadona and the gas station. Olive oil is not sold here.
“You look at the length of her nails, she’s confused with a beauty salon, she probably needs a liquid to remove the lacquer. ha ha ha ha
“No, look at the height of her heels, I’m sure that when she’s driving, she’ll wear home shoes. ha ha ha ha
The English woman?
No, the French woman.
I’m silent, pretending I don’t understand what they’re talking about. Very good mood, I finally found the oil I needed. The lamp needs to be poured out as soon as possible. I buy silently. I go out, drive the car into the shadow, open the hood and order coffee. Wait for the engine to cool. The men sit next to him and wait for the continuation. They got the phones to shoot a video of how the FIFA will look for where to pour oil...
It took 30 minutes, I opened the oil, made a spoon from a glass, poured. Closing the cap. I sit down and drive the car. Oil is OK! I breathe.
- Russian - the choir led me men.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №153854
 28.02.2020
A man approaches the newspaper kiosk:
Is the Constitution today?

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153853
 28.02.2020
Today I read the post that people become hostages of their laziness, and then are surprised by the high fees of lawyers.



I will tell you how I made the easiest money in 2019.



My friend in Moscow gave my contact to his friend, who could not get about 400 t.p. from some office. Supposedly a year worked, the bills were paid during, and then there is no payment for two months, no one responds to the phone, the site is unavailable, emails are not returned. The director of the office is Russian with the British PMJ.



The office (creditor) is engaged in logistics (fly tickets, transfers, hotels, etc.) Their chief logist calls me and asks for help. Well, I say okay, since in Russia, the hourly rates of lawyers are still not used to, let's say, the claim order £800, and it makes no sense to go to the court, because the skin of the section is not worth it, you will pay more for the lawyer.

(From £800 - £250 takes the firm).



We shrugged hands, signed the NDA and a brief. We start working.



I go to the site of the office, it does not really work, I enter the INN in the yandex, on the first link I see another office with this same founder (he is the director), I open the site, I call the specified phone with the British code.



The phone is taken by a young man.

-Hello, I call you regarding the company of LLC "Romashka", there Ivan Ivanovich money remains owed to LLC "Logistics". With whom to discuss.

Hello, you can go with me.

We sent you the bills to the mail, but they have not yet been paid.

- We have the hosting delayed, and we cannot find the login passwords. You can send an account and documents to mail.....@Gmail.com

I can.



After 20 minutes, the answer comes "Documents have been given to the accountant, we will pay in the evening."



The next day I come to work, the guy, as he promised, dropped the payment, I send to the customer.



Call right away. Yes, yes, we are three months, and we are here with the whole office, and we have had such disruptions here. Well I say okay, you have the details, throw the payment.



A day, two, three, a week passes, I ask the girl’s accountant if the office of LLC “Logistics” paid £800. I didn’t pay, I call.



It begins to run out of the tube.

“Well, you know, the boss said that paying $1,000 a day of work (in fact, minutes for 30 in total) is a lot. Ready to pay a maximum of $100.

- Guys, tell the boss that I have a signed brief and a certificate of quality execution of your instructions. If there is no money, tomorrow we will file a lawsuit in court, transfer it to the Foreign Ministry and your boss may forget about the British visa.



Of course it was a bluff, but it worked. Money is listed. But to my friend this comrade said that I was a foolish, cunning Jew who made money from their firm. They get the money I earned in a day.



What people have for BL&D logic. You pay for the result. You got the money back in 1 day (I didn’t say that it was enough to spend a couple of minutes in Yandex, one phone call and 4 short emails). Rejoice, no one has spent two months searching for a counterparty, negotiating, writing letters to all instances and writing claims.



You got your money back the next day and you are unhappy that someone dared to earn on it, although you have to blame your laziness and your own stupidity.

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