bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №112750
 28.04.2015
Today comes a SMS from an unknown number to me: "Sorry baby, the matter is not in you, I met another. I was even abandoned by a strange girl.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112749
 28.04.2015
and further. Productivity in the United States of America (!!! Higher than in Russia.
Divide 3000 by 6 - a total of 500 backs. At the rate of 50 - 25000 rubles per month.
Attention to normal wages! Nude is understood? You are paying too much...
and----
Generally right. With one clarification:
Labor productivity depends much more on the work of the management (both the firm and the country) than on the hard work of a particular employee. Their salary is at the level of the U.S. government, or even higher.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112748
 28.04.2015
X-Men: I have not seen him for a long time
Yyy: Dick moved to the capital, and bought the two there somewhere between the third ring and the MKAD.
xxx: #@ and you! With which girls?? to
The state procurement.
XXX: How did he get there? Everything is caught there.
Yyy: Well my imagination paints it like this:
The man comes to the responsible person.
I would like my company to win such a tender for the supply of finishing materials.
You know how high the demands are.
Valer Cotatis is!
Valerie is scattered! Tender is yours.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112747
 28.04.2015
Discussing how in Louisiana from the viaduc a train struck, the club of sofa analysts is broken: the weight of the wagon, the width of the track, the force of the wind, aerodynamics, hydrodynamics, resonance of supports and the reflection of the light of the steam projector from the upper layers of the atmosphere of Venus...
The partner looked at his eyes and said:
- Have you noticed how clearly the protection signs in the store worked out?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112746
 28.04.2015
A strong and independent woman.

It’s scary to say, but a pink haircut, a charged tablet, porn and three kittens in bed replace a full-fledged man. Fully and equally.
_____
Fuck, tell me what you are doing with the cats. I need to know!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112745
 28.04.2015
Walking with her little sister, she asks, “Why do you paint so beautifully and I don’t?” Well, I tactically answer that I spoke a little older.
A little older? A little older? The child is angry. You are eighteen and I am six. Marry you soon, and I still live and live!

Now she’s sixteen... She’ll soon find out if there’s life after marriage.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112744
 28.04.2015
xxx: At the age of 15, I could not become a waitress because it was hard to learn the menu (there were a lot of salads and ingredients on the front page). I had to go to Aichi.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112743
 28.04.2015
(Discussions by colleagues
He is a man-pampers.
Why the Pampers?
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112742
 28.04.2015
from opennet, about another mega bug in wordpress

> yes, it’s better to use pure html than that.

HTML is not good at all. The text on the naked html will be very easy to read, and the visitor can afford such outrageous greed as choosing the font he likes, not the designer, its color and size. At the bottom of html it is inconvenient to make the text of the site in the form of a thin column of 500 pixels on a screen width of 2-4 thousand pixels. At the bottom of the html, it is not possible to make a very important image appear in the forefront during reading. It is extremely inconvenient to make the whole text flowing over with all imaginable flowers.
Who needs a clean html?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112741
 28.04.2015
I think...
Until we have an agreement...
I should note, this is a terribly profitable case, schizophrenia, there is always someone to consult and discuss :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112740
 28.04.2015
Productivity in the United States of America (!!! Higher than in Russia.
Divide 3000 by 6 - a total of 500 backs. At the rate of 50 - 25000 rubles per month.

Attention to normal wages! Nude is understood? You are paying too much...
-------
How many times the productivity of the excavator on the excavator exceeds the productivity of the scavenger with a spade? And the second question is because the earth is too lazy, right?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112739
 28.04.2015
I watched the movie with my husband "Sphere", where an American military recruits a team for contact with aliens. The team must include a psychologist because we don’t know how people will react to encounters with unknown forms of life.
I: Humans, if not zoologists, often encounter unknown forms of life.
M: Put a stick and say "What kind of shit?and "
I: How courageous you are, I’t be ticking into an unknown whore with a stick, I would just say, “What a whore!”and "

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112738
 28.04.2015
Average wage in the United States for 2014 – approximately $47,000 per year

The average tax for this figure in California (federal + local) is approximately 23.4%.
total 47000*76.6% = 36002$ for hands or 3000 per month for hands.

and further. Productivity in the United States of America (!!! Higher than in Russia.
Divide 3000 by 6 - a total of 500 backs. At the rate of 50 - 25000 rubles per month.

Attention to normal wages! Nude is understood? You are paying too much...



No scams and no fraud.
1st The average price is taken across all states, and the tax is taken from the most expensive, in which the average price is 4500 / month.
2nd The number “six times” doesn’t mean that Everyone works six times better. This means that ALL together (including government agencies) work more effectively.
Three Well, the hint looks strange in your interpretation: it turns out that the entire Russian lazy is born and is not worthy of a good standard of life until working becomes 6 times more.
I would not personally be so blatant about the whole people - there are obvious and visible factors of pushing working and competent people out of the country, complicating activities for those who want to work and earn money. And it is not the citizens of the Russian Federation who are to blame for this, but the activities of very specific people, which many know very well.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №112737
 28.04.2015
Is it possible to offend the feelings of a nihilist? Can Nihilists Be Believers? How will a nihilist react to insulting his feelings?
— — —
And what has been done with the offended Christians who have filed for trial?

Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend you and persecute you.
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged"
If you forgive men their sins, your heavenly Father will forgive you, and if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins.
"Do not resist evil. But whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn the other to him; and whoever wants to judge you and take your shirt, give him also his garment.

This is not some controversial place from the Old Testament (a type of notorious execution of homosexuals). This is the main programming text that Christians should learn. And I honestly do not understand how a person who is offended and demands that an offender be put in jail can consider himself a Christian.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112736
 28.04.2015
In the role-playing game of the Round Table, King Arthur played a very detailed knight armor. Only from some of his considerations drank him out of some gesture (in both senses of the word).
Very soon the subjects became popular pantomime "King Arthur is stealing".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112735
 28.04.2015
HH: So why are you stuck on her? No appearance and stupid as well.
How can I explain it more specifically? In short, she chopped the chops to the stick in one and a half minutes...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112734
 28.04.2015
When I was a student, in 1999 at the Agrarian Institute of Grodno, we had computer science lessons, which we were looking forward to. And so began our lessons. We were not even embarrassed by the fact that we began to teach work on DOS, when in many schools the wire was already standing (in our university, a class with Windows computers just appeared a year later). But what was really embarrassing is that the first 3 lessons did not allow us even computers to turn on, and Pred, a aunt of the 50s, only painted shapes and catalogues on the board. What happened in the 4th class? There was control work. We finally turned the computers on and had to perform a specific task. There could be a task, but only where, if the hell car has never blinked with the green eye before, and then looks at you with its screen and awaits something. Calling for logic, we asked this aunt at least once to show us on the compact all that she had explained to us before in 3 lessons. With a complacent smile, this “teacher” took it into his hands and began drawing catalogues on the board.
Morality: as long as the educational institutions teach the aunt with the thinking of the accountant, as long as in theory all the teachers are masters and doctors, and in practice sheep, you should not expect from users a competent handling of the computer and the absence of stupid questions and retaliations in the style of "it's just somehow."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112733
 28.04.2015
from a medical forum. About burning soda:
XXX: And there is another unpleasant moment - 5 tablespoons of soda, half a liter of mineral and jump. The result will be unexpected!! There will be no burns!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112732
 28.04.2015
A week ago in the afternoon for a minute jumped out of the house - it was necessary to meet a friend at the subway and give him a book. I stand, I wait, a girl approaches, asks for help - the wallet is taken out, there is no money to get home at all. I honestly answer - said, I have no money with me, but I can give a ticket (in the pocket of the jacket was lying), there one or two trips. She took and thanked.

Today I met the same girl in the subway, she handed me a chocolate cake in thanksgiving. Sometimes it is good to be kind.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112731
 28.04.2015
Maybe after that question I will fall in your eyes. You will never be able to look at me again. But in a man’s life sometimes there are questions he needs to ask. Should fried peppers be cooked before frying, or can directly frozen peppers be fried?


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