bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64847
 28.05.2012
and Svetlana:
Hello, how did it all go?
Natasha: Hi sister! Almost everything was described by laughter. The government did not take!!! )))))))) Postponed to 30.05
Natasha is full! I went to the police station, there was nobody. Looking at the agenda, and there it says "Show up 28.06!!! How we roasted, we will not pass on to you! The soldier with us! For the first time, he says, I see such a miracle! Not only did he come to surrender himself (we did not wait for the agenda), but the boy in the army wants to appear a month earlier than the appointed date! Take me up! " Ryu is still there! ))))))
Natasha: I say to myself: - " We need to roll from here, and then we will see everyone in the bulk with the dog together!" Military rjet - "Well, and the collector you have got!" ))))))))))In general, the grandmother didn't have to laugh, as she wanted, except for laughter. ))))) The officer was asked to choose a place of service. "Do you want, for example, to space troops?"- "No, we are not allowed to be astronauts, we are sick and sick on carousels. Distribute it in the der. True in the construction troops, we in the country have to scatter one barracks and build another. Grandfather, in the person of grandfather, we guarantee full employment of staff, considering the need to reorganize the country, too!" He barely fell from the chair laughing! )))) I say to him, “Rejoice yet that we have not come in harmony!” My grandfather answered! Or if you would have this show here now - Buranov grandmothers are resting!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64846
 28.05.2012
The copy-paste method, combined with the secretary's carelessness, completely changed the life and career of Nikolai Sergeevich, delighting with the presence in the official characteristics of the aforementioned comrade of the phrase: "He is an active member of the women's council."

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64845
 28.05.2012
Cheap toilet paper. I hear shit.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64844
 28.05.2012
I think the boss is going to go out to work this weekend :(
YYY: How will you repent?
I will say that my faith does not allow me!
YYY: Belief in what?? to
I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep on the weekend ?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64843
 28.05.2012
In general, we decided to bring this pregnant cat to our grandmother's house.
I mean, my grandfather and his cat have arrived. And the cat is naughty, what else is worth looking for!
And this is the situation: the cat eats, and grandfather Murzick eats on her - he tries to drive out like, but to get closer, he is afraid.
He has been on her for 10 minutes. The cat has zero attention.
And behold, she ate her food, turned to him, looked into the eyes of this mocking species and, loudly whispering, departed.
xxxh: the one surprised even climbed behind the bed and did not rise from there until the end of the day)))

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №64842
 28.05.2012
<xxx> such an impression that some in childhood were not put in the corner...
<xxx> and were about it

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №64841
 28.05.2012
Remember, we do not understand the clues!! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №64840
 28.05.2012
What do you do when you have insomnia?
I do not sleep.
and

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64839
 28.05.2012
Ordered figure from the notorious e-bay, it is coming from the Zagorje. Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, a long-time lover of traveling in boxes - was such a chip in the series: You cross in the body of a truck, in a cardboard box with a certain inscription, and you are taken to the destination of this cargo. So this snuck, the journey, remembered his youth and arranged for himself from the delivery of stealth action. I follow, therefore, the package - came to Novosibirsk, passed the customs, went there and there, went to Moscow... came to Moscow, passed the sorting and... Eight hours later she joyfully reports that she is again in Novosibirsk!
A super-spy shit, riding around Russia in a cardboard basket, robbing security guards from the Russian postal staff. Absolutely fucking, according to the source.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64838
 28.05.2012
xxx: The trolling scheme for the "prins on the white horse": On the first date you must come on foot and in the pocket only Nokia 3310, not an iPhone or HTC. For more than one date, no one is missing. The last three times this scheme failed :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №64837
 28.05.2012
Today is the Day of the Border Guard, Max's holiday.
WOW: Did he get rid of the army?
Oh yeah, he’s in the military so it’s written: "Borderly Personality Disorder")

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64836
 28.05.2012
Cat is fucking...
ICHI: What is it?
Cat: In short, I fixed the headphones and checked them on the Skillet – Monster track.
Cat: and his track starts first for the left ear!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64835
 28.05.2012
my advance as your monthly)) should have been from 20 to 25, today it is 28 and it is NOT!!! O O O O ))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №64834
 28.05.2012
xxx: I saw a girl on the street with a guy.The girl's scratches caused only one desire to know "and the scratch cries?"well guys can be seen cries

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №64833
 28.05.2012
You would at least write a warning: “Don’t repeat this at home.” Now I will repeat your boiler, I will kill myself and then bring you to court.
Yyy: It is not even clear what is worse: the court or the dead plaintiff.
c) the habr

[ + 124 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64832
 28.05.2012
Girls, but if you were on an uninhabited island with a man, who would you choose?
I would probably be Johnny Depp.
CCC: No, I would choose Pattinson.
ddd: And I would choose a nice, broad-profile practitioner who is passionate about hunting, fishing and gardening. You will all die.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №64831
 28.05.2012
I have been using soap and aska for 5 years. Why don’t I ever send spam and strange girls knock to talk? What I do wrong!? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64830
 28.05.2012
I came from a time when the prices were double-digit.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №64829
 28.05.2012
You understand that yet too much time in your life spent in front of the computer, when even dreams begin to dream in several windows - if nothing interesting happens in one, you can switch to another.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №64828
 28.05.2012
If a girl is in a group of type "► Don't you judge what I was." - know, someone has already judged and came to the conclusion that she is a dumb horse

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