bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128705
 28.05.2016
Photo of a man looking at the controller from the SmartTV.
Signature: The question arises – how to use it?

XXX is a man.
Tell him something.
Maybe the code matches and he will understand you.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128704
 28.05.2016
Well, sweet old dogs, let’s talk about the sick graduates?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128703
 28.05.2016
A: What is the name of these legs, like for the carpenters?

The Jumpers?

F: If you’re about striking your legs on the railway, I don’t know.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128702
 28.05.2016
Today the working day began with one of the computers working, working. I turned off myself and decided to put win 10.
The funniest thing is that! He did not settle.
CHC: And as a result, there is no vinyl.
Then I restarted the previous version of the windows.
NN is ahahahah. This is the new Messiah! Suicide and resurrection! ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128701
 28.05.2016
I dreamed that Rosenbaum shot Pugachev.
YYYY: And then he sang "We will begin with this little thing to do divine deeds"?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128700
 28.05.2016
A colleague, an energetic uncle of pre-retirement age, took off on Friday. On Thursday, leaving work, he says dreamingly:

Tomorrow morning I’ll go to the house, I’ll cut the lawn. Well, it turns out, over the years, I have become a man with a grass-cutting machine, who is hated by the whole internet!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128699
 28.05.2016
I: But in fact, I have the feeling that I can faint.
A: My colleague warned me. Say, “Warner, if I fall into fainting, water water so that the shirt does not shine through the shirt!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128698
 28.05.2016
SMS from my husband (m):
Go home and sing.
I don’t know if I’m fat or hungry.
Fat and hungry, go home and sing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128697
 28.05.2016
- Mikhail Yuryevich, can you ask for an advance of 1500 until Tuesday?
Yesterday, cats came to my room where I fed them and brought a rat the size of a palm. Toli wanted to feed me, Toli hinted that I was the next if I didn’t buy normal food.

[ + 21 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128696
 28.05.2016
School education alone does not help much. Here the Germans - for three hundred years scratched for the slightest province with sticks, then added concentration camps (initially they were just engaged in tuna eaters) - and as a result, corruption they have quite a little. We tried to accelerate this path by Stalin. And what if all this is repeated now (and as practice has shown, Stalin’s repressions proved to be small) – will many be delighted? So guess what is better – an eternal mess, or break a third of the population, and all the others constantly nightmarish. And the third option to build a society of order - so far found only in books...
– is
For some reason, everyone always takes the example of either Germany or the USSR (and, precisely, the Stalin era). Do you really think these are the only government systems that deserve respect?
Go to Finland. Or in Norway.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128695
 28.05.2016
Take a regular 30-gram piece of bread and think: to burn all the calories in this piece, you have to walk three kilometers.

///////////////////////////////

Or sitting down to play guitar for 2 hours)) Or 40 minutes. of active sex.
Two pieces of bread a day will bring so much color into your life!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №128694
 28.05.2016
Dialogue in the cinema at Warcraft's premiere:
- Something everyone is silent, maybe we shout "For the Horde!"?
So what, is there more people here for the Alliance? is terrible.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128693
 28.05.2016
XXX: The new coffee machine rolls. Just poured a cup of delicious "Swipe the milk supply system".

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