bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153232
 29.10.2019
xx: Just yesterday it was necessary to dismantle the old Soviet closet for discharge. So I settled with my son. I pulled things out. A 12-year-old boy found a bag, and in it an anal congestion. I asked, what is it, Mom? I immediately found something to answer - it's daddy's stuff, don't touch, give it here! Of course, this is not my husband's block, my husband gave me. I don’t know why he said that, but I was ashamed. I need to tell my husband, suddenly the son will ask.

Yyy: In a couple of years he will find out what it was and he will be ashamed of his father.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №153231
 29.10.2019
Your humour reminded me of Camilla.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №153230
 29.10.2019
One day, I borrowed a foldable table from my neighbors. They gave me a table and gave me a dolma. In order not to return the plate empty, I presented a charlotte. The next day, the neighbor's son brought a shale and asked not to fall into the recursion.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №153229
 29.10.2019
Simplified urine analysis.
Go out and write in the garden.
If ants gather - diabetes.
If you urinate on your feet - prostatitis.
If it smells like a barbecue, cholesterol is exaggerated.
If when shaking your wrist hurts - arthrosis.
If the fingers are gout.
If when shaking you still managed to do 5-6 step-by-step movements - Parkinson's disease.
And if you go back to your room with your penis out of your pants – Alzheimer’s disease.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153228
 29.10.2019
Once I argued with a girl that there is no truth in the horoscopes, and she replied that I don’t understand anything, that you have to believe the stars and everything like that.

So I told her, let me read the horoscope about you (she’s a cancer), and you’ll tell me how much the stars are right :)

In general, I read: you are a purposeful person, love order, maintain comfort and sometimes with your character you are not simple, bla, bla, bla.

She always said, in point, it’s about me, yes, it’s me.

Would you see her eyes when I told her I read the horoscope about Taurus?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153227
 29.10.2019
There were two people coming from the gas service, watching the plate.

First, it smells like gas.

Everything is okay, it’s me.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №153226
 29.10.2019
One of my friends tried his sperm. The taste is specific, but I’t say it’s disgusting. The sea water looks like something, but the consistency is different. Well, according to him.

yyy: Ah, friend, of course, according to his words)

xxx: Okay, things are different, you can even try.

YYY: Did he fall and accidentally suck?

xxx: 1) kissing your partner after she made you piss

2) Oral affectionate partner's breasts after dropping her on tits

3) cunnilingus after unprotected sex to make the matter crazy, or to prevent the partner from cooling before the second event.

Okay, a slide

How to eat your sperm if you are embarrassed

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna