If a fool doesn’t try to help you, it’s a real help.

In 1916, when the U.S. debated whether America should join the First World War, lawmakers from Nebraska proposed their bill. It is necessary to hold a national referendum and every person who voted to participate in the war would immediately become a volunteer and go to the front.

The difference between a prostitute and a wife is that a prostitute for your money does your desires, and in marriage for your money you do the desires of your wife.

My father had a worker at work. His father ordered him to build a staircase. He managed quickly. He said, “It is ready.” His father said, “Okay! Now go up the stairs.” Swarmy replied, “I’ll probably try it again!”

The following conversation took place at the cafe:

One cappuccino please.

Ordinary milk?

In a joke I say:

On the cow.

There is no cow. There is ordinary, soy and almond.

I breathe :

As usual please.

My acquaintance had:

There were five brothers and sisters. One of them lived in Moscow, bought an apartment for Vernadsky. Then he dies and the apartment remains for the brothers and sisters, because there were no children. They decide to surrender the apartment, and the money is divided as follows: a month to one, a month to another, etc. In order not to shake up with the documents, they design the apartment for one of the sisters. After the design, she masks everyone with pencil, sells the apartment and no longer communicates with relatives 🤷

Xxx: It seems that in the 90s there was a popular series about Marianne. So in us one marginal family decided to call her daughter Marianne. In the council barely answered, and Marianne would have died.



Yyy: You know, with the name Zdechli in principle no names will sound good.



Zzzz: Dasztobwy is a good name.

XXX: Continuation about the oligarch-histeric⁠⁠...who I worked as a secretary for almost a year.



In general, the work could have been interesting if the oligarch had not been so hysterical. It looks like an adaptation of "The Devil Wears Prada" of the Russian spill. Of the differences - eternal matyugs + we did not run anywhere, for this there were couriers and drivers. The secretary’s task is to sit in the office 7 days a week from 10 to 10. It is best not to go anywhere, even to the toilet. The schedule is respectively interchangeable. But we didn’t answer the calls at least at night, but his personal assistant was on the line 24/7.





of occupied tasks:



- To arrange for a balloon tour in France (the oligarch rested there with his family).



Looking for lost glasses in France. Everything was done by telephone, but considering that the boss only visited the hottest places, there were no special problems: it was necessary to just call all the stops on the list of movements. In a restaurant, she disappeared and was found.



- Order in Switzerland a platinum clock suspension (the old broke). Long to find out what are the delays and how it is called in French. Whether it was from Switzerland or from Monaco, it was necessary to get a passport for a suitcase that stood like a kia ria. The oligarch forgot this passport in the store, and without it it is not enough.



Find the discs on his porch. Those that were no longer released. Definitely only two. 4 is no longer suitable - I didn't want to overpay. We called all possible sellers and even wrote to the factory. But here is the breakdown: the disks were found, but the guy gave only a set and refused to divide.





In general, for a man who had a dozen cars (including Maybach and Mazerati), several houses (on Rublevka, in Switzerland, in Maya), he was surprisingly greedy. He was always afraid that he would be fooled. Everyone was suspicious, from business partners to the cook. To monitor us, he even installed a camera. Or suddenly we disassemble passies during working hours.



And coffee from the coffee machine employees can not - it was predestined only to the oligarch and his businessmates. Moreover, in the Moscow office, 10 people worked from the force, all the others were on Sakhalin. But our separate task was to chase the office plankton from the royal coffee. Therefore, when the oligarch was absent, and colleagues looked into the reception room with the question "can?“We always answered, ‘Finally!’ Take it with you and put it in your pocket.)





He was also very good at saving. The salaries of secretaries. We had half the official and half the premium. When dismissed, only the official part was paid. This is how a dozen secretaries will be fired in a year - and you can buy new glasses.