bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №155558
 29.12.2020
He sold the inherited ice. The price is very low, the brand is very popular, used twice. Not a product, but a breastfeeding. At the end, the girl:

Q: Hi, do you sell a ice bucket?

I: Hi yes

D: I will take, only make a discount of *90% of the price of sale

I: If you pay attention, I lowered the price very much, literally yesterday. I just don’t want to give up anymore.

What about a single mom?

I: I’m sorry, but why a lonely mom?

D: I said fucking. He dropped the phone.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №155557
 29.12.2020
I found an old man in a cushion. and dressed. The seven-year-old daughter said, “Oh! The cockroaches are going well!” He tightened his stomach, pulled out his chest and was proud for half a second, until she said, “To your glasses.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155556
 29.12.2020
From the height of my life experience I can say: no shit is visible!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №155555
 29.12.2020
Brother is going to marry a terrible girl: tastelessly dressed coloured blonde, graduated from some institute off-site for money, not far away, loves scissors, cosmetics, shopping, dull series, has been working in a call center for several years, no prospects, interests - too. My brother is a smart, decent, educated man, and this is what it is.
I honestly asked him how it went, and he said that he was taken by clever, decent and valuable women. Everything is difficult for them all the time: then there is no mood, then they are tired, then deadline, they give themselves to work, dress up with a needle, sneeze, in their free time go to some training, courses, exhibitions, listen to webinars, want to develop (wherever - unclear). And with this woman it is easy for him, she has no complaints: she came from work, cooked dinner, made a massage, consumed nothing, turned on the TV, then sex without excess breaking. And will want a smart woman, so full of such at work, with them and talk to them in the lunch break.
That is where I thought. I am 34 years old. I am just like in the stories of my brother: the head of the department in the company, I love my job, I give a lot of strength to it, I carefully choose clothes, I read a lot. And I am alone. Men don’t stay for a long time, although I’m cute, with a good character, kind. I think there is a harsh truth in my brother’s words.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155554
 29.12.2020
A man asks on his phone:
“Alex, tell me, why don’t I get along with the girls?
He hears in response:
and Siri! My name is Siri, idiot!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №155553
 29.12.2020
XXX is yes. I understood. Potato - berry, tomato - berry, cucumbers - berry. What about vegetables?

YYY: Come in the tick and see)

I don’t want to be a vegetable myself.

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