bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126118
 29.03.2016
D.A. will be in town in a week. Medvedev, in connection with this full course of preparation is underway. A day ago, a local officer looked at my house, came to seal the safe in which the gun was stored. Now, all weapons owners are seen as a potential threat to the former president. And it does not matter that in the safe, in addition to the gun, there are many necessary things that are used daily, and it is not convenient to seal the safe for a long time, as well as put all the valuable things for this. As a result, after a short dispute, the district officer simply gave a paper with the date of seal and said to stick it to Medvedev's arrival at the safe.

It seems all this is logical, understand why, but almost every year someone comes to us, and this is the first time such a requirement. And how many assassinations in Russia were committed with legal weapons?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126117
 29.03.2016
Remember, there are six ways to waste time and money: drunkenness, night wandering, attending fairs and celebrations, gambling, bad company and laziness.

XXX: These are the foundations of Buddhism

Oh, that’s the description of my weekend!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126116
 29.03.2016
I do not understand the logic of the manufacturers of laptops: they squeeze a disc with wood in the documentation to a notepad, which in principle does not have a drive.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126115
 29.03.2016
And why, sometimes, Iran writes, and sometimes Iraq? I never thought about it. What does it depend on, H or K at the end? Yes, and so they write.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126114
 29.03.2016
A Stone to a New Deal - Terminator (1984)

and wow! thank you! The Fresh!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126113
 29.03.2016
The wife said, “We need to spend more time together. We are going to go shopping!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126112
 29.03.2016
I understand: the modern youth can’t walk at all))
I understand: modern youth, having a higher education, can not write literally (

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126111
 29.03.2016
Discussions about road food:

111: Okay, this is a pit))) You look at the "hand-made" lake in our neighborhood. It has been a year of leakage. Well, we understand: there is no money for leeches.
But don’t worry, “Our radiant [name of the mayor],” the inhabitants of your example will have their wings and will fly through this lake.
222: The usual pump and hose of 50 meters are taken, and everything is pumped into the nearest steam. But apparently you have no men in the courtyard, or they are used to living on their knees in the de"me...
Do you always wear it with you like a real man? Together with the hose and extender (if an electric pump)... ))
444: And then you will start digging the holes yourself, like “real men.” This is the case.)
333: Yes... “It takes the usual asphalt plant...” Cho we have in the courtyard of men what is not. )))

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126110
 29.03.2016
My mom told me a story recently. I wanted a coconut girl.
xxx: she bought a whole coconut, pulled it home, and unable to uncover it
xxx: she thought and decided to throw him out of the window so that he would crash on the asphalt. We waited for the night so that no one was on the street.
xxx: but then she was afraid that while she was running out to the street, somebody was strangling her coconut.
xxx: she didn’t come up with anything better than writing a note "Coconut Don’t Touch". She dropped the note, then dropped the coconut and ran out to the street.
xxx: runs out - and there the guy lies unconscious. I called an ambulance, everything was done. It turned out, he went, saw a note flying from above, stopped to read - and right there he got coconut on his head and flew.
XX: In general, as a result, they got married, so together and live to this day.
And the coconut (which was not broken) was left as a reminder of the day of acquaintance.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126109
 29.03.2016
I walked around the city and walked into a shopping mall. In the middle of the hall was a movie. I stopped and watched the filming. The cameras are aimed at two actors who are talking, watching the script.

To me fits some main comrade, their shooting group, and says, "go straight, like a massacre." In my head, this is my star hour! I go, I don’t look at the camera, confidence, brutality. It is like “Stop, Stop. What a... I!! I asked not to let anyone in the picture!!”



I was accompanied by all the smiles.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126108
 29.03.2016
19943, first, cooking in the family for each one’s dish – it’s you, sorry, you’re angry with fat. Secondly, not to give pizza until the children have eaten the strawberries is a concern for the healthy nutrition of the children.
Go to Fig.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126107
 29.03.2016
The older generation in general with the perception of leisure is somewhat tight. Do you know who at our school’s graduation ball was kidding and flattering? Mothers and teachers! The teenagers either did not come at all or dispersed during the first hours. Mom along with something sprinkled from the holiday table mint cakes in a box - met in the morning))))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126106
 29.03.2016
XXX: Misha, what did you say about the fact that you can’t catch a fish up to what number?
YYY: I can
XXX: Is it possible to spin off the shore?
YYY: I can
I am not a fisherman :)
XXX: So that is not possible?
YYY: Everything is possible
YYY: To show the ass in public, I’t.
XXX: You are deceiving me
YYY: Okay well
YYY: I would

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126105
 29.03.2016
xxx: dollar - 68,75. euro - 75,70. what would you advise?

yyy: Survival Course with Bear Grills

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126104
 29.03.2016
>> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > After we complained that the wheelchair did not pass the evacuator after 2 hours, we arrived and pulled everyone away. This is not a hybrid, but the department there is something.

You have a good city and the services are good.
Guglim "Broken in the middle of the road "Gazel" for three days interfered with traffic in Samara".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126103
 29.03.2016
I work at home because I sit with a doll. I accept orders. A man calls and I, as usual, ask and record all the necessary info. By the edge of my eye, I see my doll coming out of under the blankets and how it’s barefoot scratching on the floor (the floor is cold, you can’t walk without hats). He looks at me cleverly, and starts silently cutting circles on the linoleum. I can’t stand it and say strictly:
I will punish now!
At the end of the pause, a man’s voice says:
and oh!
I finished recording the order I quietly pressed by laughter, imagining what it looked like at the end.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126102
 29.03.2016
The garage is our everything.

The garage is like a car park :)

X: Drive the car into the apartment then. I think of the sofa.)

zzz: is hit once
zzz: in the presence of a cargo elevator
zzz: or a couple of friends - the same fools as you)

X: Take the apartment for three of them. Three moths in the kitchen ride over the bar chairs.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126101
 29.03.2016
I am a dwarf, and you have deceived me, evil perverse!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126100
 29.03.2016
xxx: Andrei
What happened?
Are we no longer friends?
My name is Sasha.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126099
 29.03.2016
Kas: 99 bugs in the code.
Kas: 99 bugs in code
One found and fixed.
Kas: 127 bugs in code

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