bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №18653
 29.07.2009
On the last Friday of July, the amines are immortal.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №18652
 29.07.2009
The teacher at the first lecture, reading the magazine: "Well, there are no foreigners in the group, there will be no problems with the language..."

The voice from the audience: "What?and "

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №18651
 29.07.2009
I choose a gift for my brother. The seller offers a carpet with nephritic plates:
When a person sits on it, the body temperature drops immediately by thirty degrees!

L: I didn’t buy it at all.
My brother scratched me as a child, but I’m not so bad.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №18650
 29.07.2009
Sick in the summer. I sat behind the comp, squeezed in a sweater, and threw on the sofa next door. The jacket falls. Well, nothing, he barely reached the floor, raised it, and threw it again. The cloth lay down for a few seconds and slipped to the floor. In anger, I decided to repeat. The shirt was on the floor again. No, I was against removing it elsewhere, I continued to throw it away. At 5 times, the t-shirt was delayed for a longer time, but it still fell. I thought... There was obviously something wrong with him, falling, as if he was trying to tell me what it was. I got up and looked around the floor, but found nothing. At some point I realized that I could control them, or rather climb them off the couch. I dropped him, he stopped and fell. I ordered them, but soon my mother came and turned off the fan.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №18649
 29.07.2009
How well, when the phrase "they lived long and happy and died in one day" does not refer to the screws in the mirror.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18648
 29.07.2009
I sit in the line to the dentist and I hear a child’s voice:
Father, tell me more about the theory of probability.
— — —
Oh, someone would tell me.
Student, 2 courses

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18647
 29.07.2009
The girls! If you dream of a prince on a white horse, think about it. Why a second horse?

[ + 140 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18646
 29.07.2009
To protect themselves from falling revenue, operators are trying to secure state support, relying on the fact that as a result of the growth of VoIP services (above Internet protocols), a significant portion of voice traffic will be out of control of the state, which will “inevitably provoke concerns about security issues.” In addition, “most of the brands operating in the territory of the Russian Federation, such as Skype and ICQ, are of foreign origin, and therefore it is necessary to ensure the protection of the domestic manufacturer in this area,” the press release said.

________
Did they protect them at all? It is not even funny anymore.
The first is the problem of telephone connections, that they have fallen in income. Secondly, what kind of hell does the government need to listen to our phones and look at our emails? In Russia, everything is so bad, and every second terrorist? Russia is called a democratic country.
Yes, and it’s just nonsense and absurd... Something I have to do about this.

Everyone who agrees.

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18645
 29.07.2009
They ate with their hermits. The operator gets a few million rubles a day and it's crazy little. Skype to prohibit, aska to prohibit, ordinary phones to prohibit. The fucks. This is a fucking country.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №18644
 29.07.2009
In fact, idiots in large numbers can be seen by people who work directly with customers at the very first stage of contact.
I myself work in a bank, one babble comes and says, "How can I write a statement that my son will not be given a loan from you?"
Well I ask the jump of her years, she says 11!!! I tell her that for the next 12 years he will not be able to borrow from us, because on terms only from the age of 23 it is possible. What the answer followed, "Well, I do so in any case, athe looks very adult))))))))"

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №18643
 29.07.2009
I offer somehow to thank the heroes of Sergey Davydov, Hope Chramov and Elena Strekalova, who achieved the limitation of the show of the fool.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18642
 29.07.2009
Meverik
We are trying to inject 1 kg of oil and cheese at the enterprise.
Arven
In the ZP?
Meverik
Aha
Arven
MDA...
Arven
Butter and cheese are not the best option.
Meverik
The price of oil and cheese is higher than in the city.
Arven
If you were to make spinach...
Meverik
We manufacture the starter.
Arven
:D
Arven
Where do cheese and oil come from?
Arven
Did it happen instead of startups?
Arven
Are the robbers back somewhere?

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18641
 29.07.2009
[SP]arK: Fignia... I have a friend in asskoe more often from work with a mob phone sitting... constantly writing: "What did you sleep... Where are you there? A short flow of mobile..."
Friend: And what is this?? to
[SP]arK: The worst thing is that he’s driving and driving all day =))
O O O O O O

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №18640
 29.07.2009
My friend bought a laptop.
She brings me to her office - we meet in the cafe.
I pull out the notebook - I see - there is no battery.
I: Masha – and where is the battery?
Oh, and I didn’t take her – she’s so heavy! But I charged the laptop – is it autonomous?

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №18639
 29.07.2009
kanku(06:51): Vladimir Anatolyevich, the Accountant is again down! I am in Ahton.
BigBoss(06:51): Well so restart it! Are you Siddhartha or I? Why am I paying you money?
kanku(06:51): They removed him from the table!!! to
BigBoss(06:51): Blue and blue!!!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №18638
 29.07.2009
How does a netbook differ from a laptop?
There are a lot of nets on the net.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18637
 29.07.2009
19:16:14 Da_house_cat: Hi everyone) I am new
19:16:54 Da_house_cat: mda....
19:17:34 Da_house_cat: and the naker registered?
19:18:05 Da_house_cat: fucking
19:18:32 Da_house_cat: where is the exit?
19:19:27 Da_house_cat: fucking, you can’t even get rid of it just like that)))

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №18636
 29.07.2009
by Habr

TFIRM
27 April 2009, 17:27
This was before the emergence of the SSC. Googled a former classmate – it helped!

Semenov
27 April 2009, 21:34
The desire to get rid of a former classmate is one of the main reasons why social networks have become so popular.)))

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №18635
 29.07.2009
I read a quote about the washing machine in the elevator and there were questions to the author. How did you pass the screwdriver through the closed doors? If the doors were open at this time, how did you have time to think about it before instead of just pulling the cable back??? And the main question!! Why did your brother decide to wrap the cable on his neck from the washing machine leaving in the elevator??? Or the washing machine like in a horror film decided to kill your brother and threw him like a laso on the neck???? to
Honey, it’s very interesting to know the answer...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №18634
 29.07.2009
Inaccurately inserted in the frame of the price is able to turn a gentle, appetizing cheese "Ostankinsky" into a disturbing cheese "Remains".

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