bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107697
 03.01.2015
The trip with his husband to a toy store for a gift for his nephew ended in the fact that he bought himself a huge factory spider!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107696
 03.01.2015
"Teleprogramma", January 3, 1 channel, 10.10 "STARIK HOTTABYCH", FENTESI, USSR, 1956

And the director, Pedi, thought he was filming the story.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107695
 03.01.2015

[Thanks to you]
"Don’t touch it – it’s for the New Year!" – the post gave up.
"You eat, or it will ruin" – the post has taken.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107694
 03.01.2015
The little boy Vasya was very carefully prepared for the fact that during the summer holidays he would go to his grandmother to the village. I put a phone, a tablet, headphones in a bag, took a flash with games. At the request of his mother to bring with him at least a few books, he refused.
In the bus, he pulled out the headphones, connected them to the phone and turned on the music. The miles to the village flew quickly, and he is already at a stop and his grandmother meets him.
Hi my granddaughter! Go to the house, try, probably tired from the road.
After eating a delicious fried potato, Vasya got the tablet and turned on his favorite game Subway Surfers. He played it until an alarm warning appeared on the battery charge indicator that the battery was only 10% charged. "I should be charging" thought Vasya.
Having delivered his travel bag, he began to dig into it in search of a charger. His movements became more convulsive, he began to get nervous.
Eventually he realized that the irreparable happened.
He did not charge.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107693
 03.01.2015
[Another example of some Users’ Answers foolishness]

X: Should I change my name if the relative to whom I was named has died?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107692
 03.01.2015
On the porn site:

God, no such poor manga, I'm drunk I can't go to the shuttle
Yyy: You are there more careful with your steam - don't get drunk.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107691
 03.01.2015
UtahJazz: >Chief of the Ministry of Internal Affairs on Mari El shot himself at work
UtahJazz: the main news on Yandex
Patrios: stupid, suicide is a sin, he will again fall into Maria El.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107690
 03.01.2015
Lora: I am 13 years old, I need a shave to shave my thighs and the bikini area. I’m embarrassed to tell my mom to buy me a shave.
Reports: Tell her "I have a forest and I want a lawn".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107689
 03.01.2015
XXX: I want to fall into a liturgical dream.
The latter is lethargic?
Zzzz is nostalgic?
xxx yes and yes.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107688
 03.01.2015
After the new year corporate...
The case was a year so in 2008... Corporation of one of the state committees. On the ballet stage, all in anticipation of the banquet. One of the chiefs of the department rushes through the hall, comes to us with the question 'Dad Christmas did not see? ' From the other end of the room, another lady hurts with the question of where the wine box is located. meet with. They kicked each other, went to look for Santa Claus costume to save the event)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107687
 03.01.2015
Q: You are an analyst on securities, say what to take flour with bags or gold with clusters?
Zzz: As a securities analyst, I would recommend you look at the new line of Kalashnikov machines.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107686
 03.01.2015
reinsurance
and gt;

Only, for the third year, wearing a beard, I stopped giving, on holidays, a cream for/after shaving.
and gt;

That’s why you have to be able to put five folds where you don’t need a single >< people, you guys, are you sleeping? Corrector - Corrector

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107685
 03.01.2015
I decided to shop today. I go to a store in the women’s clothing department. And there is a seller - a young guy, with a slightly lost sight. I have a vague suspicion that he just replaced somebody, maybe some coverage happened to them on January 2...
Okay I think. The seller is like a doctor, the creation is useless.
I approach and ask the underwear I need, communicating the necessary tactical and technical characteristics, so to speak. He listened carefully to the first class. and clarifies:
On the chest?
In general, somewhere in our world there is a person who believes that the underwear is for other parts of the body.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107684
 03.01.2015
A friend talked about problems with his elderly mother.

It does not give in to any, even the most powerful, logic.
CHC: If she had read in the ZOZ or her books of traditional medicine that, say, heroin helps from joints, and bought it, spent my pension for six months, and I would come and let her explain, she would foolishly ignore me, pretending to be kind of "what hernia you carry." Watch video on the Internet would also not become with the words "fu, you show me this, take it away, nonsense some"
CHC: And if I started taking this heroin from her, she would begin to scream, like what you do, raised a son called, oh oh oh oh oh.
That is, even such a powerful obvious thing as the harmfulness of heroin would not be an argument if she had been convinced of the opposite, but to prove it would have become I... only would be offended and everything.

Such things.

[ + 36 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107683
 03.01.2015
Fursov said that in the wake of the slaying, the Japanese explained the peculiarities of their mentality - the Americans won, so they are vassals and must obey. If the 'Segun' weakens and loses authority, the vassal treaty ceases and it will be possible to tick the 'Segun' a little in the back with a samurai sword. The Bushido Code.
But the Japanese did not defeat the Americans, but the Soviet Union?
Killer of the Half-End: It’s all difficult there. While the USSR was throwing the Quantum Army in Manchuria, the US was throwing the peacekeepers of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The results are impressive. In Manchuria, the Japanese lost 84,000. Soldiers are killed. And in Hiroshima and Nagasaki more than 200 thousand. killed civilians. Not counting the same many later curved from radiation disease.
And so yes, of course, Stalin is a man-eater, and the USSR is an empire of evil.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107682
 03.01.2015
The New Year Gift,
Bringing the most positive – plastic mouse for cat!


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107681
 03.01.2015
Working cell phone, the old Samsung C-140 refused to move to 2015. His calendar ended. and :(
XXX: And I told them that it was necessary to take the Nokia - the Nokia calendar until 2031.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107680
 03.01.2015
If the socks do not scratch the legs when wearing, they are still clean.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107679
 03.01.2015
Lav: He decided to demonstrate control of the voice.
Lav: On the phrase “go naked”, the monitor is turned off.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №107678
 03.01.2015
The original:
Only, for the third year, wearing a beard, I stopped giving, on holidays, a cream for/after shaving.
= is
Guy, if I understand correctly, while the whole herd of sheep in panic was purchased with a grapefruit/twenty coffee maker/machine, did you get stuck in a bag of clothes? Do you put them wherever possible? and ;-)

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