bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №159068
 03.12.2022
Whoever for the sixteenth century is an enlightener, for the twenty-first century is a darkness.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №159067
 03.12.2022
The Lucky

We talked about the nature of luck. I argued that no special luck exists, much less misfortune. And that all our lives are subjected only to the theory of probability, well, to some extent, to our efforts.
Andrei took the word. Andrei, in addition to being an excellent film operator, he is also an avid athlete - the conqueror of different Elbrus and female hearts.
Here is his story:

A classmate called me and asked for someone’s phone number. We crushed for life and Vitya admitted that he was the most foolish man in the world. And he is already accustomed to it. His wife went from him to a friend, with whom he introduced her, at work also worse nowhere. In the office reduction and it was decided to dismiss someone from the department. One out of fifteen people. They started to draw the draw, of course, Vite got the “dismissal”. Here the boss came and said that it was unfair, because there were not only fifteen people in the department, but seventeen, two on a business trip. They decided to wait. Waited, dropped a new draw, Vitya again extended the "dismissal".

In short, it was necessary to somehow save an old school friend from the handra and unpleasantness and bring it to feel.
And I suggested going out together on a short trip for a couple of nights. With tents, fireworks and everything in that spirit. Usually such actions put their heads in place.
Whitney never went on a trip, but gladly agreed.
I took two backpacks, two one-seat tents, gathered, sat on the trail and took the train toward Kostroma.
We go through the forest, the birds sing, the mood of both is elevated. Especially Viti, he clearly liked the trip.
Suddenly, Vitya stumbled, did not resist and slowly, ridiculously fell forward on his arms. As if nothing worse, I even swallowed. Vivian silenced for a while. Until I came to consciousness. It turned out that during the fall, the backpack inertia went forward and knocked Vitu right into the neck by the edge of the cover from the boiler. Blood, saddle, I even wanted to return, but Vitya persuaded me to continue the expedition. I glued his neck with a patch, gave a pill from a headache, went on, but the mood was no longer the same. We found a suitable bed for the night, we started to arrange.
I dismantled my tent, Vitus my own, and I, from the height of my expeditional experience, began to give him advice:

You see a tent under a tree, it is a hundred years old, but suddenly at night there will be a strong wind and a tree will fall right on you once in a hundred years.
And you have a tent under a tree.
And you look carefully, my tree stands straight, and yours has leaned over the tent. Think where it will fall?
Well yes at all.

And Vitias moved the tent on the other side of the tree, now it turned away from the tent.
and short. At night, there was a terrible hurricane that stormed for eight seconds. As a result, Vitino's tree pulled out with the root, bended to the other side and fell to his tent.
Thank God the bones were whole, but the blow again fell on the poor back of the neck, though it slipped.
I thought that my classmate was really lucky.
I had to give up my tent to the poor, and I covered myself with what was left of the broken one.
The next day, Vitya long mumbled and did not decide, then finally dared and asked:

How to go on a trip? Is there any technology?
Meaning of bigger?
Well yes.
Have you not gone yet? I forgot to tell you the instructions.
The scheme is easy, here is toilet paper and here you have a scarf. You go somewhere further from here, where you like it, dig a pit, do your business there, and then bury back with a spade. We love and protect nature.
Well yes, we love it. It is clear, I went.

After a while, Vitya came back and asked confusedly:

Andrei, tell me, how can I wash my scarf?
Why wash it? We don’t have water for that. Remove the grass and put it back into the grass.
No, it won’t work on the grass, it’s shit.
- What fucking thing, Vitya, did you fuck my titanium scarf?! to
Yes, I did not tick, and it is not mine at all. I just wasn’t lucky, I started digging a pit, and someone’s shit was already buried there. How do I wash my scarf?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №159066
 03.12.2022
What is this to you?
The digital technologies!
It is understandable. Why all of stones and sticks?
There are Roman numbers.

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