bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №42657
 03.02.2011
X: Oh, today is the day of the shit!! to
and O_O
X: The Tree)))

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №42656
 03.02.2011
J: One day, in a cabbage, I fell on my knees with a lady too mature for me and of the same appearance.
J: I offered her three times a sibaccio from my knees voluntarily. The third time, as far as possible. On the fourth, he pulled her fork into the right hip hemisphere (he didn’t want to be so radical, but the look of his wife forced to take tough measures).
J: Then came her husband and began to show me that I, such a fool, a decent woman with a fork in my ass.

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №42655
 03.02.2011
Saithie: I felt bad all day. Blood from the nose. I sit behind a compot with cotton tampons in my nose, I play in VV.
I sneezed, fucking, right into the monitor. The whole screen is in blood and spots. While she was walking washing and taking a towel to wipe out the shame - the charm of the game died.
Mom comes to my room at this moment.
And here I sit, wiping out the blood from the screen, where the image of the dead character.

[ + 78 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42654
 03.02.2011
What kind of country is that, right?! I went on the bus, fell asleep, fell asleep while I slept, vacuum headphones fell out of my ears (well, I do). I woke up and my headphones were ripped out!!!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №42653
 03.02.2011
Club map of Silink. Replies about goods.

Excellent club map. 5 is
Benefits: Soft, elastic plastic does not hurt the teeth after eating.
The orange color is exciting when looking at this map.
Disadvantages: Not suitable for reading in the toilet – too little text.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №42652
 03.02.2011
Based on corporate ethics considerations, employees of the Russian pension fund are strictly forbidden to wish the jubilars long years of life.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №42651
 03.02.2011
The colleagues!
Today after 18.30 will be necessary to stop the DEV server at 192.168.5.17 and the customer's employees will turn off the server from power for 10-15 minutes.

After that, it will be physically moved to another place and we will need to restart everything.

P.S The fact is that it is now included in the network filter, which the cleaner periodically uses for its vacuum cleaner.

This carries serious project risks. Yes, I was crying too. : )


[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42650
 03.02.2011
The insightful reader himself will guess what this distant story has to do with me personally, and why I tried so hard not to distort in it any known detail.

Half a century ago, a very cute little girl came from Rostov-on-Don to a huge Ural factory. In her warm southern town, there was a man, a clever guy from a professor family, who lived in an enormous apartment. What is called, all friends advise. He was a couple of years older and already had time to become a postgraduate student, but always found the opportunity to be with her - then going together to the Caucasian mountains, then playing in the then STEMs - student theatres of miniatures. The guy was prominent, astute, tactical, but something still apparently lacked her in his virtues - their relationship she left friendly, although warm. But at this deaf factory, another guy immediately looked at her, also with a higher education, but broke his way out of the barracks, from the Ural family of scattered peasants. While all the other factory guys watched her openly, he alone looked at her in a human way. Sometimes even too humanly – when she first went to them in the cabinet, everyone stood on her, and he thoughtfully looked at the flowers on the wallpaper at that moment. When they became friends, he with endless patience walked with her through the pine forests, leaning one step where she had to go two or three.

By December, their relationship developed to such an extent that they decided to celebrate the New Year with her in communion together, sending a girlfriend away from the room. But two hours before the New Year, they were awaited by a surprise – the guy No. 1 of the
of Rostov. He arrived without warning, rightly reasoning that on the frosty New Year's night the girl would not deport him - there were no hotels in the factory settlement. It happened, she did not expel him. But she didn’t want to drive out the guy No. 2 either – she liked him. As she recalled, she was especially angry that both guys were perfectly polite and wary. No fight was planned, and with both, the New Year's Eve became some sort of nightmare nonsense. She was drunk for the first time in her life and was sick. The educated Rostov guy No. 1 could not withstand this spectacle, shrugged and went out to smoke. The educated Ural guy No. 2 breathed, grabbed her in his arms, took her to the shell, resolutely swung two fingers into his throat and instantly brought in a feeling. She recently celebrated her golden wedding with him, and I think she never regretted it in her life.

[ + -12 - ] Comment quote №42649
 03.02.2011
Dear Father Christmas! Last year I asked for a boyfriend.
So, take back that goat and give better mandarines!

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №42648
 03.02.2011
(From the discussion of mystery and rebuffs)

Lensky
Show me the dog guesses.
Catsmile
where in this phrase should the thyre stand?

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42647
 03.02.2011
Shaaman: Today I realized that it might be disgusting to sit naked on a cold toilet cover in an office room.
Shaman: When it is still warm...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №42646
 03.02.2011
Dad recently burned: he was typing text in the word, wanted to format it in the center, but in the place of the button to format in the center, the assistant dog was sitting and the language showed him. So Dad patiently waited for half an hour until the dog left... He didn’t wait, he called me.)))

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №42645
 03.02.2011
This is a real story.

At the first class in the auto school, the instructor looked at us for a long time and silently moved his lips. Then he said sadly:

19 of women.

and pause.

Eighteen of them are blondes.

and pause.

- I will soon let you go so much that I will be afraid not to leave, to leave the house!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №42644
 03.02.2011
How many flowers in the rainbow?
and seven.
Just as much as a note.
Why is?
Note also 7.
and clearly.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42643
 03.02.2011
And I have somewhat fallen self-esteem of myself as a mother, when the son (2 years) looking at the "Beauty and the monster" at the moment when Father Bell comes to the castle, he sits in a chair, and then the door opens, all the candles are extinguished, everyone is knocked in the corners in terrible horror, there is a terrible music... and here in this moment on my question: "Son, who has come there?" the child replied without thinking: "MOM!and "

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №42642
 03.02.2011
by Angel666
Why shouldn’t the Jedi be renamed Jedi?

by Angel666
Imagine on the road. by Jedi Petrenko. Their documents!
And the stall is talking...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №42641
 03.02.2011
I: Wife, the doctor has forbidden intimate romance.
Husband, lightning: and tough porn?

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42640
 03.02.2011
From corporate correspondence:
Dmitry : Hi I would like to tell you which model we need CISCO887-K9 or CISCO881-K9 will also go.
Vladimir: I don't remember exactly, ask Marina's model, she recently boasted of her show.

Dmitry: Marine, what kind of sickness you showed to Vova
Marina: He went, I didn’t show him anything.
Are you talking about Cisco?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42639
 03.02.2011
The xxx:
In my house there is a whole food chain... a rooster-hammer-rat-cat-puppy...

The xxx:
The Korean has to...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №42638
 03.02.2011
The Russian byte contains 64 bits, of which 30 bits are scattered, 24 bits are repelled, 1 is lost along the way and 1 is broken, and the result is the same 8 bits - but how interesting!

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