bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142700
 03.07.2017
Football commentators remind me of cats in front of a closed door, who whisper but go out and don’t intend to. You do your business, you hear – oret, oret, oret!!! You go to see who scored a goal and who is not.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142699
 03.07.2017
A colleague really loves jokes about his mortgage and the diet of the brokers. I have to say that for the third month it is already quite uniform. The other colleague did not stand, to the next blatant statement answered in the spirit of "you are an aristocrat! We can not afford this with a mortgage, we eat ordinary pasta, sometimes on holidays - "rollons"!"... In the department there is silence, interrupted only by clicking on the keyboard. Good as well!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142698
 03.07.2017
XX: It is not what tax is important, but how the money from these taxes is used. In the country, this is done irrationally, although the tax is high. In Denmark, for example, the tax is also high, but the standard of living is also high.

yy: > irrational
This is the most discreet statement about corruption in our country.

Colonel only irrationally distributed 9 billion in his apartment, so he was jailed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №142697
 03.07.2017
What kind of fashion has gone to arrange online broadcasts and fuck-piss-piss for an hour instead of creating a detailed post with links (if necessary) and a forum? Half an hour spoke about nothing, another 20 minutes answered questions online and only then went on to the essence. I hate online broadcasting.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142696
 03.07.2017
XXX: The Doctor
ууу: prescribed rectal candles to raise immunity(( i.e., technically, ordered candles for health to put

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142695
 03.07.2017
What a wonderful example.

corruption and in general.
The Kirov region. The Yaransk-Kirov bus, as you understand, goes from Yaransk to Kirov (220 km approximately). On the road he travels through many settlements (through Pižanka, for example). Passengers travelling from Yaransk buy a ticket there at the bus station. Passengers who sit on the road must buy a ticket from the driver. But drivers are not stupid - they take the money from passengers and put it in their pockets. N months pass, the management looks at the statistics and sees that on this route they only travel from Yaransk, and no one sits on the road at all. And they conclude: why chase a big bus for the sake of 10-20 people who sit in Yaransk? So the bus they clean up and let Gazelle, who from Yaransk is already full and on the road does not take anyone. As a result, those who sit on the road (for example, in Pižanka) sit and scratch their tails - as if they were to go to Kirov.

Drivers are to blame, but people curse mythical officials

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №142694
 03.07.2017
- mother - in perfection, Russian - read and write with a dictionary
I see an intelligent man! We, the hegemons, are usually checked by the word.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142693
 03.07.2017
In the field of coincidences. Here is the world of Misha. He almost married my sister ten years ago, but it didn’t happen. And I noticed a pattern - as I meet Misha on the street (once every couple of years or even less), then some sort of strip of stupid bureaucratic obstacles begins. I thought – maybe he hid his anger on our family and that’s how it comes out...

In short, only then came to me: Misha lives in a neighboring house with the main bureaucratic hell of our city, and I meet him, as a rule, there. On the way to this hell. It is not a cause, but a side effect.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142692
 03.07.2017
xxx: * screenshot of the license agreement*
These conditions are
Did you have the same?
I will hide it now.
HGH: Let it go
I’ll go to the Guinness Book of Records.
The first person in the world to read a license agreement on pirated software

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142691
 03.07.2017
bribes and bribery.

Have you noticed that in our society, a lot of things are turned upside down? That the professions from which life and the future of society depend directly are not very prestigious? Agree that without doctors, teachers, firefighters, electricians, slugs and other professions, society life will be much more difficult than without a horde of lawyers, artists, managers and bankers? Yes, without the same assenizers, your city will drown in its own shit in a few months, before falling into the ears with its own garbage (because the need is for folders, if not for cleaning the garbage behind us).

Who is sitting in the hill? Artists, athletes and businessmen. Where are the normal managers? And not them. Because it is imperative to be a normal manager - it is necessary to work, it is a huge responsibility.

So yes, continue to spin the spiners, discuss whether flowers and candy are a bribe and be proud of the feats of the now non-existent state of da Zadornov.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142690
 03.07.2017
here here :

You know, when a little girl chooses a stylish minimalist black dress for the doll, rather than a pruncesse abajur with lurex, glitters and wraps, it's really weird. In preschool age, it is normal to associate "beautiful" with "bright".

But the teacher is already, hopefully, an adult - why should she sound stupid, forgiving a little girl. The taste should be cultivated, not ruined.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №142689
 03.07.2017
Smoking is harmful to your health.“Not nuclear weapons.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142688
 03.07.2017
About the attention. This was by the German radio station VDR. He drives an electric car (esban) to work. Not by poverty, probably green. In electric cars, everyone, sitting down, gets stuck in smartphones, tablets, notebooks. Originals in a book or newspaper. He forgot about smart. It was the first time I studied followers. It turned out that in front of the passage was a man sitting with a cat. Not the one under the bed. with live. No, not in the market. The duck is cared for, "chested", equipped with a leash and an elegant butterfly tie. He sits on his hands. Shortly before this companion stopped, the duck without a command jumped and, importantly, the stunt went to the door. The roulette row extended almost the entire length. The owner of the duck preferred to sit until the last, crashed at the last moment. The cat waited patiently at the door. At this stop, no one else came out of the car. Everyone examined the content of the displays. No one noticed the duck with the bat. She tried so hard!

I told Ost.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142687
 03.07.2017
A smart woman judges a man by compliment, a stupid woman judges herself by compliment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №142686
 03.07.2017
<Discussions about holiday prices>
diofjs: to Crimea flight, and to Italy flight. That is the difference ;)
Dunkelfalke: If there is no aircraft in Italy, then they are flying there on a ballistic trajectory?
KikoMan: No, with such a budget you just o-o-o- very high, and then Italy will go under you.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №142685
 03.07.2017
The Ministry of Finance of Russia has confirmed that the minimum old-age pension from January 1, 2018 will be $ 4,500 a month, and the retirement age - 127
132 years for men and women respectively.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142684
 03.07.2017
"In Kuban, a 9-class student was not issued an attestation because of the debt of 600 r. for school breakfast"
is right! The student is not Kyrgyz to forgive his debts.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142683
 03.07.2017
But I remembered the story of how Nikita attacked old sects. He goes to the store and meets two elderly ladies:
“Let us tell you about our Lord Jesus.
Let me tell you about him myself! My husband parked.
The old women agreed. But in order to speak of the New Testament, we must begin with the Old. When Nikita reached Septuaginta and Rabbi Akiva, the grandmothers suspected that they may have agreed somewhat recklessly.
- This is all, of course, very interesting, - interrupted the monologue one, - but what do you think about this question? And in short?
In short, I think Jesus was a crap boy, and it wasn’t worth hitting his nails in his hands and feet.
The grandmothers are:
Jesus was not a boy.
“Well, even if Jesus is not a boy for you, then I don’t know what to talk to you about. And went away.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142682
 03.07.2017
No, television, it’s really funny. I drink tea in the kitchen, the family broadcasts quietly. Suddenly the attention was attracted by the emotional monologue of the kindergarten teacher: "We vaccinate your daughter that she is a beautiful elegant girl, and the dress of the doll should be beautiful, elegant, not black...". This is where Coco Chanel’t understand the educator, like other fashion designers. Per those who, surprised by others, dress strangely, also once forcibly received a taste vaccine from the taste of the teacher in the kindergarten?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142681
 03.07.2017
A friend told me. her husband called to some large firm, there an auto-responder-type type an additional number or name the name of the employee you need. In this place my husband sneezed. So the car respondent translated it to some Chinese.

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