Two hours ago I was back by car from the sea – I was driving, my mother, my wife and my one-year-old son who slept all the way. At the entrance to the city, haishniki stood checking the cars, as far as I understood on the occasion of the day of the Air Force. We were stopped, I start to dig into my pockets in search of documents suits the hoistner and starts in the form:

Good afternoon, the inspector.

I hear an unhappy whisper from behind:

Keep quiet, do not scream.

The haishnik stopped, I stopped crawling in my pockets from an unexpected turn. He looks at me with amazement, and I look at him. A minute of spectators. Then he whispered to me:

Are you okay?

And also a whisper.

The happy path.



Yyy: Women with a child develop a "mamkin voice". I go on the street. There is a scream from the window, “Well, go home quickly!” I went home immediately. Then “stop. This is not my street. Not my mother. I have a lot of years.” I went home for the case. It worked on the goose.

X: Can you say anything about classmates? An extinct dialect.

YYYY :

1st I can’t raise my hand when it’s so high!!!! to

This is my favorite sister Olečka came to rest in the summer.

Three My youngest grandson Sergeenko Valkin son on September 1st

4 is Larisocha Gennadyevna, you have not changed in so many years! I kiss everyone! The Beautiful!

5 is Soviet ice cream tomato juice for 10 copies! Take a class if you remember. Let’s see how many of us!

When my son was 3 years old, he came to me in the middle of the night and woke me up and asked me to let him sleep with me because he was afraid to sleep alone. I, of course, moved and, hugging him, fell asleep. After a while, he wakes me up again and says, “Mom, maybe I’ll go to bed, or you’re so snoring that I’m more afraid of you.”

I go out of the entrance today and hear:

Hi you beautiful!

I turn with a sharply elevated mood, a smile to my ears, and I see a cute girl.

“Hello,” I say to her, anticipating a pleasant acquaintance, “thank you.

She is red:

Oh sorry for it. I realized. Without a lens. I thought it was my husband.

Here to the entrance approaches a man of my height and in the same coat as mine, kisses this girl, and they leave. And I stand and think: really beautiful.

Xxx: My friend has something in common with the hobbit. I put a ring on my finger and the ring disappeared.

Yyy: Sauron forbids him from communicating with friends

and quarantine. Looking for Positive

Forced self-isolation (at the planetary scale) is the best way, at least for a while, to end all wars.

© Dmitry Sviridov

How I fought with the military.

I will tell you my story about the military.

In the Higher Classes (2000-2001) For the first time, we were taken to the military, where we received assignments. They got everybody except me. I went through all the examinations and so on.

At the time, I did not have a registration. Absolutely no one. He lived with his parents on the office square in communion. In their passports there was some ancient, irrelevant pass, and the administration did not want to register us in the PMJ. Temporary and unnecessary.

But please note that I did not hide from the military.

So the commander ignored me. I calmly finished school, calmly entered the universe, calmly finished it and got a diploma. I calmly went to my first job. (Yes yes! It was all without registration, without assignment and without a soldier.)

In 2007, the court broke out the registration and - what would you think? He voluntarily surrendered to the army.

No, I did not intend to serve. I just wanted to humanely log in and close this page.

came there. A very surprised woman studied my papers and did not believe it.

I presented the well-preserved directions and medical certificates since the same visit to the military committee during the school years. She opened a large magazine, searched for a long time and found me.

And then she said, walk with God, you will have an agenda.

I wondered when it would happen.

She replied that she does not know, because it does not depend on them, but on how soon the police will transmit them information about newly registered persons of the age of recruitment.

Even though my passport with registration and address - here it is!

Okay well. This is the agenda.

has gone.

Over the years, he changed several jobs, and no time the lack of military registration documents became a problem. (And all these jobs were in government agencies or organizations; I have not worked in commerce until now.)

Then came the day when I was 27.

I felt an irresistible attraction to the reserve.

He came back to the same military.
It was April.

Oh my God, what has it started!! to

It started normally. I was sent to some office. The guy missing there behind the computer (probably a timetable) "broke" me and sent me to another office. He was jealous of me and envious of my luck.

In that other office there was a aunt who began to scream naturally at me: “Dezertyr! The Escapist! You will go to court!”

But the court will not go anywhere, but the medical commission only works here and now (I appeared once in the spring appeal), so my aunt drove me there. Only in words.

In the morning came again. The whole corridor was filled with callers. I just lost among them. I don’t remember how people got to the doctors: they were called or there was a turn. I only remember that I sat there for an hour without reason.

Finally, my patience broke out and I broke into the office of the chief doctor (or the chairman of the commission, I don’t know).

It seemed he was not warned. He kicked me out as soon as he found out my age. Not even listening.

I went to the military, and he himself went to the doctor and told me to accept me.

He scratched in the back of the head, shrugged his eyes and sent me to the doctors.

The inspection lasted two seconds each. The surgeon needed three: his attention was attracted by a simple varicose vein on my leg. Because of this I didn’t get to category “A” and got a “B”. Thanks for Tom.

Then on the appointed day I arrived for a military ticket.

And here the most interesting thing began.

I entered the office. There at the T-shaped table were three: in the center - a soldier, on the sides of a aunt and a man.

I was not offered to sit.

And instead of a military ticket, I was solemnly (no) handed... a decision on bringing to administrative responsibility pursuant to art. 21.5 CPA of the Russian Federation ("Non-fulfillment by citizens of duties on military registration")

Rather, I was not given it. I was presented and told to sign up for a copy.

But since I was already at that time: (a) a lawyer; (b) the same year that drafted the protocols and issued decisions in my state service, I first read it, and then demanded that a copy be issued to me, and after that I will be discharged.

They did not expect this from what was seen from the uproar. Aunt ran to copy the order to another office.

I was told that I would get a military ticket after paying the penalty.
The challenge is accepted.
When I got home, I read the ruling again and immediately printed a complaint against it to the district court.

There was something to complain about. After all, in the descriptive part it was literally the following: "I was not on the military record." However st. 21.5 The Russian Federation Code of Conduct did not provide for responsibility for - sorry - failure to register. She was punished for failing to appear on the agenda and for failing to appear within the time limit for registration. That is, for formal reasons, the decision flew into the garbage bowl.
In addition, there was no signature of the official (i.e. of the military). That’s how they were upset! Here is another formal reason.
In any case, I would point out that even if they correctly accused me of the offence, it would still be cancelled by the court.
The fact is that I did not receive the agenda from the military committee. (And I am more than sure that they didn’t even direct.) This composition immediately disappears.
For the non-appearance in the established period for registration, I was also not able to be attracted, since this very period of appearance in relation to the initial registration of students was again determined by the agenda (ch. 2 st. 9 53-FZ) which I did not receive.
There was a possibility in which I did not appear to the military committee myself within two weeks after registration at the place of residence. There was no need for this agenda. But there were nuances here too.
First, the law required me to appear after a change of place of residence, but my place of residence did not change! As I lived at that particular address before, I continued to live. I just registered, but it’s not the same.
Secondly, even if you interpret the law extensively and assume that I was obliged to appear after receipt of registration, it turns out that the limitation period for bringing to administrative responsibility has long passed! The limitation period was 2 months (h. 1 st. 4.5 CPA of the Russian Federation), which was calculated from the day of the offence. If the offence consisted in the failure to perform any duty within a certain period, the date of its commission was considered the day following the last day of this period (5th Plenum of the Russian Federation). That is, if I registered (conditionally) on 01.06.2007, then I should have arrived at the military committee no later than 15.06.2007. On June 16, 2007, I committed an offence. The limitation period has expired on 16.08.2007. And I was attracted for a moment, in 2012, that is, 5 years later.

Well, in addition to this, I will remind you that after registration, I once again appeared in the military committee. The other thing is that I couldn’t prove it.
I explained it all and immediately brought it to court.
Contrary to my expectations, the court did not cancel the decision, but returned the case for a new consideration to the military committee. So, I gave them a second chance. His right is.
At the new examination, I was already provided with a chair and began to choke like Kozlevich’s Xendze.
Knowing where I work (at the time), they went from the side of professional ethics (in their perverted view):

We see that you are serving there. You also draw up protocols, bring to administrative responsibility. Also in the system, so to speak. So you know how this system works, what its goals are. Accept that you have violated. Sign the order, pay the fine, and there will be no more questions to you! And we are fine, and you will get a military ticket quickly.
I objected that in the system in which I serve it is not common to make deliberately unlawful and unfounded decisions (and this is true), so their proposal is unacceptable.
I was fined again.
And again, I immediately rushed to the "home - computer - court" route and appealed the decision.
This time it was more funny: in the descriptive part alone stood the only word "St. Petersburg".

I am lost in the guess that it was.
Ordinance was foolish? Or maybe they really wanted to help me avoid the unjust punishment and deliberately allowed these stupid cracks?

The judge was different. There were two daughters in the military. (I have not seen them before.) Oh, how he tossed them! I was not ashamed of expressions. Like me, he couldn’t understand how he could be so dumb.
However, the order was not repealed. Returned for a new consideration.
Running forward, I will tell you that it never happened. Military is depleted.

Yes, I beat the military commissariat twice in court, but it didn’t bring me closer to getting a military ticket. Rather even removed.
The deadly offended soldier came up with a reason not to give me a test document: say, I have to undergo some psychological testing. (I do not remember the exact name.)
I found in the regulatory documents of the Ministry of Defense that it is carried out only with respect to recruits to whom I did not belong. But I decided not to argue if soon it was the only obstacle.
I appeared, and again (as at the medical commission) no one knew about me and did not want to test me. Again I disturbed the commander, and he arranged a test.
I passed him. What else needs? Where is the soldier? But my answer was silence.
I will remind you that this epic began in April, and now it was September.
Then I started writing a letter to the military. Value with investment description. In them I humbly asked when I would get a military ticket.

To be honest, I did not expect an answer. The soldier answered. And so, you can say, the psychological test passed brilliantly. Diagnosis: unwavering greed and impenetrable stupidity.
He replied: I will not give you a military ticket until you have paid the fine.

In this answer everything was perfect: and that he managed to link the unrelated (the issuance of a soldier and the payment of a fine), and that he expected to pay the fine twice cancelled by the court.
After wiping my eyes, shaking and shaking my head, I wrote to the soldier that the fine, whose non-payment caused him such pain, had been canceled. I also suggested that he refer to a law that would allow him not to issue a military ticket in case of non-payment of an administrative fine. Fuck, one does not depend on the other.
The second response of the military commissioner was more concise: you are not fulfilling the duty to pay a fine, which gives me the right not to fulfill my duty to issue you a military ticket.
God, this is a sleeping Neanderthal, not a man!
When I realized that the dialogue was hopeless, I gathered all the documents and filed two almost identical complaints: to the district prosecutor’s office and to the chief military commissioner of the city. I was sure that now the soldier will get a noble pro3,14zdon.

Simultaneously, I began to describe my story on the forum of the Military College of Lawyers on the advice of narrow specialists. But all the advice was only one: come to us for a consultation. I understand them: it is their bread, and no one owes me anything for free. But as if they had little of that, they (lawyers) stated without appeal that I was subject to criminal liability for evasion and that only they could save me. This is not good, it is disorderly. This is intimidation with the aim of forcing a person to attribute to them his dungeons.
Time passed and the prosecutor was silent. GVC as well.

Then I came to her, and what did I find out? Do you guess?

I learned that the district prosecutor's office - the drum - redirected my complaint to the district military committee.

The pipet. Good double army with one twist, and the one from the furry. The Prosecutor’s Office! The Lord’s Eye! All with the highest legal! How could they not know that the 59-FZ prohibits redirecting a complaint to someone they complain about?! Or did they know, but decided not to argue with the military?

Cuddling with indignation, I wrote a disastrous complaint to the district prosecutor’s office in the city. He threw everyone there, including polite fears about the existence of corruption component in the actions of employees of the district prosecutor’s office. Once again at the time, whether Putin or Medvedev approved some plan of anti-corruption there – and he referred to it.

The District Prosecutor’s Office ordered the district to investigate.
From the second attempt, the district prosecutor's office submitted a presentation to the military committee. What it really was I never knew. The mocked prosecutor, to whom I stumbled with the desire to kill, mocked that he had no copy, not even a copy. Oh of course.
I left the prosecutor’s office with a lot of frustration. It was a cold November.
Suddenly I got a letter.

Military Chief of the City.
It began with the words "Dear Such Takayotovich!“”

Further it was said: "To obtain a military ticket you can appear in any (!) It is convenient (!) for you! Time in the military...”

And at the very end: "The head of the military commissariat is brought to disciplinary responsibility."

I felt the balm slowly spread through my soul.

At a convenient time for me, I came to the military. This time they were waiting for me. Oh yes!

A wicked aunt with an eradicated face (by the way, she was among those who fined me) silently gave me a military ticket.
I have won.

P.S Oh yeah yes. At the forum of the Military College of Lawyers, I told my story to the victorious end. During the course, he answered various questions of the poor and gave advice. Apparently, it didn't really like the butterflies (yet, the feed base is deprived!So they made fun of me, and the topic was either removed or closed. (I do not remember anymore.)

The road wakes. The fulfillment of the statement:
- Replace, please, the "sick cyclist" with the "second participant in an accident".