bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №158461
 03.08.2022
We will not sell the house in a mortgage.

Why is?

Strong opposition to mortgage

What arguments does the daughter have against such a buyer?

None, she is against it.

Do you know what a mortgage is and how mortgage transactions take place?

No is!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №158460
 03.08.2022
He has a friend with whom he meets a couple of times a year. He asks me how to remove my stomach and get tighter. I start reading him a lecture about BJU, workouts, visceral fat and so on. I talk for 10 minutes, he shakes his head, asks questions, listens carefully to me. Here I think of an obvious nuance:

When does she fly?

And tomorrow...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №158459
 03.08.2022
I went to Ashan with my husband. The mood is good, we joke, we laugh... (and we laugh very loudly.) I went to the shelves with bread and I, in parallel with a funny conversation, look for the right brand.

Here behind it is a claim, one-on-one as the grandmother in the video: "Can you laugh elsewhere?"

I turn around and see a splashing aggressive man (the author of the claim) and his wife with a child (the latter has some obviously touched look). And you can see that happiness in this family does not smell.

Usually I get lost in such situations, and then I instantly gave out without losing optimism in my voice: "And what, we are preventing you from suffering?!“”

To my surprise, the man squeezed and hastily retreated, capturing the family. I forgot about bread.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №158458
 03.08.2022
XXX: Sometimes you kill a cockroach and you realize that he may be going to his family. After such thoughts, you usually order the disinfection of the entire apartment.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №158457
 03.08.2022
You won’t get rid of someone lying on the sofa.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №158456
 03.08.2022
In one Moscow school a boy stopped going to class. One week he didn’t go, two... Leo didn’t have a phone, and his classmates, on the advice of the teacher, decided to go home to him. The door was opened by Levi’s mother. Her face was very sad. The boys greeted and asked:
“Why doesn’t Leo go to school?” My mom replied sadly, “He won’t be studying with you anymore. He was operated. and failed. The lion is blind and cannot walk.
The boys were silent, looked around, and then one of them proposed, "And we will take him to school in turn."
and carry home.
- And the lessons will help to do, - interrupting each other, the classmates ticked.
My mother had tears in her eyes. She took her friends into the room. A little weather, touching the way with his hand, Leo came out to them with a bandage in their eyes. The guys froze. Only now did they really understand what misfortune happened to their friend. Leo said with difficulty, “Hello.” And then from all sides he said, “I’ll go after you tomorrow and take you to school. I will tell you that we went through algebra. I am in history.
Leo did not know whom to listen to, and only stirred his head confusedly.
There were tears on my mother’s face. After leaving, the boys made a plan - who comes in when, who explains what subjects, who will walk with Leo and drive him to school. In school, a boy, who was sitting with Leo on the same table, quietly told him during the lesson what the teacher was writing on the board. And how dumb the class was when Leo answered! How everyone was delighted with his five, even more than his own! Leopard studied very well. The whole class was better. In order to explain a lesson to a friend in trouble, you need to know it yourself. The guys tried.
In the winter they began to drive the lion on a slide. The boy loved classical music, and his classmates went with him to symphony concerts.
He finished the school with a gold medal, then entered the institute. And there found friends who became his eyes. After the Institute, Leo continued to study and eventually became a world-renowned mathematician, academician Pontraghine. Do not count people who have seen for good.
Lev Semjonovich Pontryagin (1908-1988) - Soviet mathematician, one of the greatest mathematicians of the 20th century, academic of the USSR Academy of Sciences, who lost his vision at the age of 14.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №158455
 03.08.2022
With a logopedist. work of the whisperers.
What are socks and socks related to?
Child of wool.
L: Yes, they are wrapped out of wool. How are clothes made?
R is swallowed.
L: And who then?
R is shuffle.

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