bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №72351
 30.10.2012
I take the bus from work home. Nearby, a very joyful, loud and emotionally young father teaches his young son arithmetic, drawing examples with his finger on the glass and making up tasks. After 15 minutes, the following text begins:
A: Count Dragon flew to one village and eaten there five peaceful houses, then he flew to another village and eaten there five civilians. How many people did he eat?
And ten of them!
A: It is right. But here one resident did not digest, got out of his stomach, generally, stuck in his teeth. How many inhabitants are left in the stomach of the dragon?
C is nine
A : Yes. Then he flew to another village and ate three civilians there. How much is in
The stomach?
Didn’t anyone survive this time?
A: No, I ate the whole village.
C: three... no, twelve!
A: Then came Dobryna Nikitich and spat the dragon's belly, and released seven peaceful men from there.
The residents...
C: Wow, I’m not so friends with you!
Oh, and it is shrinking! Shake the stomach! How many people are in the stomach?
C is zero.
No, he only released five residents.
A: A is seven!
A: And at this time people in the belly "no missed", and they had two children.
A: for everyone?
A: There are not only two. How many people were in the stomach of the dragon?
C is nine!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №72350
 30.10.2012
A massive fight between young people occurred in the village of Zabadam, which is located on the territory of Shymkent, on October 29. The reason for her was the conflict that arose the day earlier on the basis of hostile relations between two relatives from the villages of Zabadam and Otkormsovhosz.

The commentary:

You may have argued whose name Aul is more outspoken.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №72349
 30.10.2012
The beginning of a couple. Students examine the iPhone of the previous model purchased by one of the students.
XHH is heavy.
Wow, about 150 grams.
I wanted to buy an exam. I bought an iPhone.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №72348
 30.10.2012
American gaming supermarket network GameStop is going to start selling Grand Theft Auto 5 from March 1 next year.
James Sunderland: Well, if they unload it on March 1, the March 8 celebration will not take place for technical reasons.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72347
 30.10.2012
of those. Support and hello.
Hi to you. I don’t have the internet working.
What Windows do you have?
I have Ubuntu.
... sorry?
and Ubuntu.
You probably don’t understand, I’m asking what Windows you have?
I don’t have Windows.
On the other side of shock.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №72346
 30.10.2012
For a long time, I thought of a huge shower cabin for a millionaire sister if she was washed all the time in the jacuzzi on the second floor near the bedroom. Today she decided to wash all the flowers at home. It locked them in the same cabin and enabled the ‘tropical rain’ function. The flowers!! Did they buy it?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72345
 30.10.2012
Dialogue with the salesman of the department in a small store:
I: Girl, do you have an ivory?
Q: Ask in the sausage, there is fish.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72344
 30.10.2012
We have a servo on which a bunch of documents lies, falling asleep at night. Now I went, pulled him out of the sleeping mode, I say – now you need to come to work every morning and wake him up.
Collega: He’s fine, he’s awake – and already at work

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72343
 30.10.2012
Request for support:
The clock on the computer in violation of the Government decree moved to winter time, i.e. an hour back. All attempts to return the right time failed."

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №72342
 30.10.2012
From the chat (greetings from dr):

111: Happiness, love and health!
222: Banal but thank you!
What if you had a point after ROSTIX is not hell!
333 :))) is a reward!
222: 0_o

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72341
 30.10.2012
Review of the Canon EOS 550D.

When to go on sale?
Paul : Go on! We wait.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72340
 30.10.2012
We need to set a framework for the project.
After which the leading developer gets the right to kill

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72339
 30.10.2012
"D: I bought a pregnancy test yesterday, decided to check for the case.
Do you doubt me?
D: Yes, it’s not about you.
We look at each other, the phrase digested.Rjali to the very home."

You are so naive)

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72338
 30.10.2012
Yesterday I came from work, there is nothing to eat at home, my wife is sitting behind the comp.

I took it, I burned it.

NN: Was it because of that?

CHC: Not at all. I tell you.

“Today I say to my wife, ‘I want to eat!’ She said to me, “You have a chicken, and I have a chicken, and I have a chicken, but she doesn’t cook nits.” He hasn’t spoken for half a day. % of

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №72337
 30.10.2012
I am reading the instructions for a new photocopy. With long viewing, the effects of switching between slideshows can cause hallucinations." Great!
c) DrDeathPanda

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72336
 30.10.2012
Fragment from a questionnaire from a dating site:

I love sex:
The question is fucking. What can you love in sex? I love the epite when the light from the window falls so beautifully on a cute face shaken by screams and stones. And as the breasts jump)


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №72335
 30.10.2012
Case of life:
I went home with my girlfriend in the subway yesterday. A man around 35 years old stands next to me and starts pushing me. I turn to him, and he, kicks toward my girlfriend, raises two big fingers up and whispers to me: "Account")))

[ + -13 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72334
 30.10.2012
Do not say monthly - it is disgusting. Say, the mouth has broken.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72333
 30.10.2012
Horror films help to lose weight
I even know how :)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №72332
 30.10.2012
From Khabrahabra, discuss Samsung tablet with Windows 8:
foxnet: Here is the shit, 900 grams, 8 hours, x86, win8. Who must be killed to get this Device?
Evgeny Shiryaev: The Frog.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna