bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73597
 30.11.2012
The only place where there are no bad people is a cemetery.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №73596
 30.11.2012
Five-year-old daughter of friends Natasha came to her aunt in the village for the summer.
Her aunt asks, “Natasha, how do Mom and Dad live, don’t they argue?”
- They argue... only daddy can say nothing!!!

The baby’s mouth.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №73595
 30.11.2012
A three-year-old boy who blinded a rectangular sand "claw" suddenly violated 15 Apple patents for himself.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73594
 30.11.2012
My Princess in another castle.
At the Wolfenstein?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73593
 30.11.2012
Meeting with the Rector at the Moscow Aviation Institute (MAI)

Student: I am sent to websites to see the schedule of sections, but I have no time to look, let’s say, can’t find out the information otherwise?
What websites do you watch that you don’t have time for? Could I take a look with you too?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №73592
 30.11.2012
Andrew (10:07:57 29/11/2012)
Fuck, I’m a bad boy, I went to the army and didn’t tell you, I’m sorry, I’m ashamed.

[ + 31 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73591
 30.11.2012
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Kyrgyzstan has appealed to Russian colleagues with a request for humanitarian aid.

Bishkek, an employee of the Lenin department of the militia, said that in 2009 he and his colleagues had already received "the old Russian uniform". “We put our chevrons on it and we went like that all the time. However, it has been worn out for a long time, and we asked for new shirts, hats and pants,” he added.
Furthermore, it is noted that Kyrgyzstan is asking for two helicopters, 15 buses, 18 KamAZ and Ural trucks, 30 Gazelles, five BTR-80, as well as 40 tents, 40 sniper rifles, 300 pistols, more than 500 grenades, binoculars, night vision instruments, shooting trainers.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №73590
 30.11.2012
I love the spammers! At about six o’clock in the evening, a phone call.
Hello, we are a cosmetic company, invite you to the procedure for the face.
Okay, but I have a brain shake.
Pause, and such a vivid voice:
And you come anyway, you won’t need your brain!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73589
 30.11.2012
I remove the opera from the comp. After removal, IE opens
He, what does he hope?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73588
 30.11.2012
Sometimes, in order for you to be hated by everyone, it is enough to just bite a spoonful of a glass for a long time, mixing the sugar in the tea.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №73587
 30.11.2012
Freezing of Coins
A: People don’t buy this.... on a bottle of 30! It freezes at -15! Bought 2 bottles by 2 people, in different shops! The price is 189 rubles. Manufacturer Shadrinsk Kurgan region. The car of Jaguar!
B: this is for a particular brand, look with the image of your car

[ + 28 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73586
 30.11.2012
Onliner: Should I cook the loops at the garbage pipes?

Alexander_: You need to clear everything that smells. This also applies to neighbors Alcatraz.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73585
 30.11.2012
mmm: so the sexual path is not a path with linoleum, it is a good secas
I’ll catch you all on a good sequel.
Try to catch, first catch.
Burn: it's not bark it's a matter of eggs to run for sperm

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №73584
 30.11.2012
There is a delivery of practical on the subject "construction and companying of PC", the predecessor takes all kinds of glands and accounts for them. The student (C) carries the food unit of the school (P):
Q: Here is the BP, the worker, the whole, what will you put for him?
P (considering BP): Well, I don't know, the conductors are short some, and he himself is small some.
C: Small but working
This is what you will tell your girlfriend.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73583
 30.11.2012
xxx: At work, they were asked to make a list of employees to be dispatched and hang on the information board.
xxx: picked up, hanged and only after a while found the printing in the line "Ivanov I.I., the washer of the pot", after someone of our employees corrected the letter "o" to the letter "e")))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №73582
 30.11.2012
25.11.12 of the
People have become very busy for some reason: all cars.
Everyone has phones with the internet and tablets, probably everyone plays on the stock exchange and doesn’t miss any news.
There are so many more people with professional cameras around, apparently talented natgeo or RBC correspondents who don’t miss out on a single shot.
I probably have one weekend today.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №73581
 30.11.2012
xxx: PPZ... Now I went to VK, saw in the news advice: Do you not know how to quickly cool the tea?
There is one right way – just turn on the computer.
xxx: With sad "no fuck your mother" went to the kitchen to drink a cold tea :(

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73580
 30.11.2012
Hi, I am Max. From Sweden
Hello, I am Marina from Voronezh. Are you really from Germany?
Why did you think I was from Germany? You said you were from Switzerland.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73579
 30.11.2012
The title on lente.ru. In New York for the first time in recent history
No violent crime was recorded.

Hitman: Absolution is on sale


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73578
 30.11.2012
You have four heads and you can’t come up with anything.
We are not a serpent.
The boss: yes, unlike him, you also have your ass.

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