I read somewhere.

During the Soviet era, it was very profitable to import soluble coffee from abroad in banks.

At one point there was a man and a grandmother. We talked to the border. He said he was selling 50 cups of coffee.

Here is Chop, the customs!

“He has half a bowl of coffee!” - put a little grandmother, blowing the righteous anger of the Soviet man against the speculators of the cursed.

...As long as they counted, understood; interrogations-protocols, then-all, the man spied his grandmother with an angry look.

All the smuggling was confiscated. The grandmother closed the door of the coupe and first of all said to the companion: "Wait for me to cheat! “”

And she raised her shelf: “I have 200 cups of coffee here! Half is yours. “”

In a nutshell, she carried out such an operation of distraction to save 200/250=80%, that is, a greater proportion of the total smuggling. Because they would shrink both, and so - only a loss of 50 cans.

Then that man married her daughter.

Prove that you are not a robot. Write a symphony and create a masterpiece.

Yyy: To prove that you are not a robot, harm another person, or allow a person to be harmed by your inaction.

I was on a train from Ukraine to Russia. Border guards and customs officers were lazy walking around the wagons and looking at the documents. My grandmother was driving with me. Someone in the pursuit asked her:

What’s in the bag, grandmother?

- Yes, different herbs collected, take relatives to be treated.

He asked to show and the grandmother pulled out a bunch of carefully packed balls with crushed grass.

The customsman’s eyes burned with fire. He immediately called a reinforcement, asked to delay the departure of the train and began to ask his grandmother what grass was.

Lipa here, salad, cleansed...

The mountains of other names.

20 minutes later, a crowd of border guards and customs officers came in. Then brought the dog. He lazyly smelled the balls and began to lick the eggs.

Look for it! The border guard took him.

The dog once again smelled the bag for sight, swung his mouth into all the gaps in the coupe and looked at people in the pursuit with indiscriminate contempt. It’s like you want me.

The whole crowd with sad faces came out. No one apologized.

xxx: Friend, don't frost your ass, and don't have to be wise with bottles, like a girl in a video. Just buy for 500r a coat with heating on the seat. Inserted in the smoker. This is the second year that I drive and catch.

YYY: You’re thinking that because you don’t have a bottle to put in.

Zzz: Everyone has a place to put a bottle.

Comrade Major, be calm.

I had a very busy case a few years ago. In 2017, it seems that a 55-year-old uncle comes to the city department with an application for fraud. At that time, there was a whole boom with divorces on the phones from the series "your son got into an accident". Well, I think another. But everything turned out to be much more fascinating, the uncle was able to surprise. The case was so. It seems two years before that, they decided with their wife to order a magnetic belt for the back, I do not remember its name and where exactly they saw that advertisement. But the point is that they called and made an order. About 2 weeks later, the "representative" of the store called them back and began to say how untoldly lucky they were - their courier in a work trip, just in the Primorsky Territory (the order was from Moscow) and can come to sell the belt, which "purely by chance" he has with him, but only one. They agreed to meet him on the side of the road before entering the city. He handed them a "panacea for all misfortunes", they paid him 25,000 rubles. Tom went away. Two months later there was the wildest divorce. The investigator called them and asked if they had not acquired the belt so long ago. They answered positively. Then he asked if everything was fine, or we covered the fraudsters group here. They said the truth that the belt did not help, in their opinion it became even slightly worse. (They waited for a deadline, were given to "enjoy" the effect of the miracle of the belt and only then called). Well, the tracker tells them, a lot of victims, the first round of the trial (TUR bl.d., I asked several times, clarified exactly this word. And when he was convinced that it was, he asked whether they had confused the combination of the words Judgment and Tour. It is all standard). So here. "Sledak" tells them, say the amount of payment is something about 250,000 rubles, but you two suffered. They say two of course! He does so you two victims and the amount of compensation is multiplied, that is, half a lam they owe. (Let us omit the fact that on their part only one person can be recognized as a victim.) Something was asked there and all, wait for money. Then it disappears for a few months. Then the "advocate" calls them... let's say Ivanovich and asks if they have received compensation. No money, I am tired of waiting. He answered them, the fact is that three Tours have passed and you have not reached one. Our company is fighting for your rights. Wait to. Here I ask, and why Ivanovich, you are writing a statement on Petrovich (assuming). They answer me, and Ivanovich got to the hospital a year ago, still treated, with something in the heart (released from the campaign). I ask, do you know it from somewhere? They answer, so he himself called us with an ambulance, when he was taken to the hospital, to say that now they will be dealt with by his deputy - Petrovich. And I’m slowing down already, but I clarify, and why you actually took what exactly from soon. They answered that we heard the syrene. (He was on his way, but he was with him.) After N-one amount of time they call Petrovich and says that with the boss trouble. So bad... They burned there for three minutes and Petrovich begins his walk. I told you I gave you money, but only as a certificate (bl...d!) for the payment, but in the amount of 800,000 rubles. Nothing more can be done. Ready to send out at least tomorrow, but you need to compensate for the difference of 300,000, you have half a million damages. And... they are sending 300,000 rubles on the records!!! Another month or two later, Petrovich calls them and says that there was a monstrous mistake, your certificate was taken by the administration of the capital, something was confused. You will be sent an official apology almost for the signature of the president, but the fact remains a fact, but we will do our best, we will defend your rights! The case was transferred to a higher instance (half-final of the campaign). Again, Petrovich disappeared, and a month or a half later he calls again and rejoices: a miracle has happened! The court of the highest instance accepted your side, knocked out the certificate but... already on the lam. You know, how was it next? You have to compensate for the difference!! Another 200,000 are gone. A few more months and... Petrovich calls! And immediately begins - say trouble something happened... In Peter the terrorist act occurred (it was, and according to the news to the whole country showed) all the "free" money the state took to help the victims, payments to them, he could not do anything... They even encouraged him, said everything will be fine, don't worry. And Petrovich worried, money can be more pressed. Time still passes. Again a call from Petrovich, said Evrika! There is a certificate - the entrepreneur was imprisoned. All yours, the data has already been entered into it is yours, now it will not go anywhere, no one will take it, here on the table. With dust, with heat, still smells of the court until now, but... It is 1.5 lams!!! Yes, straight to one and a half. The money went down, the debts went down, and there is another 500,000 needed! And Petrovich presented the situation in such a way that the certificate is already a nominal and no one else will be able to dispose of it, but without compensation for the difference they can not give it. I can’t even imagine how this divorce sounded on the phone on their part, what words they said, how they argued, what arguments they brought. With friends and relatives, borrow money. They are for what? They are on certificate. Are they idiots? You are divorced. These advocate for the health of Ivanovich and Petrovich. At the end of the day, they didn’t collect money and they all went crazy. But the seed of doubt (bl. was seeded. They took a loan and sent money. Yes, it is Pol Lema. And the statement came to write up two months after the date from which they were supposed to receive the money. They were still “feeding” them tomorrow. And while I was there, they continued to hope... the PDC was simple. I am brief. The survey itself, while more or less entering this nonsense, took more than two hours, three A4 sheets were written on both sides. In the course of all this play, they still had calls, then the little money to transfer them, then there the office burned, then they moved, then they were attacked by bandits, then someone had a wedding, they called Ivanovich encouraged him... I listened and quietly covered... not every film has such a script. Honestly, the man, the wife was the same, came true later, I looked at as a real "sagan" who was released from the hospital is unclear why. He and she have a higher education. In almost two years (I don’t know a longer divorce!!!) They’ve spent almost 2 million!!! to

A criminal case was initiated, but without reason, which is not surprising.

There is nothing to add to yourself, apparently no one is insured from this. Do not buy the miracle of the belt on the side.

And that everyone on the New Year's Eve burned the mouse of rats in a medical mask. I warned you.

As the head of sales and supplies, I had to face a paradox. It’s all the fault of the Catalan. This wire is such, 6mm, burned for the softness and bonding of bags with saw material going for loading into the wagon. It was a deficit. Such a shortage that even the Doctor’s sausage didn’t stand nearby. At least in our production. And all because we needed twenty tons of it a month, and the funds gave only ten. Turn as you want.
That day I sat in the office, stared at the wall and thought. About this same catch. Magadan requested almost a thousand cubic metals of saw material, which is sea freight, overload, three-string requirements, claims and other shit. Where to get this catch. Where is?
Where I could I already took, who should have already forgiven, but that still lacked. I was in panic, but I did not give up. In connection with the enormous overstress, suddenly came the enlightenment.
Where are you looking for, where are you looking for? You are looking where everyone is looking for, and you have to look where no one has been looking and will not be looking.
When the illumination was a little bleaked, I with a shaking hand pulled the phone guide of the area to me.
Bitter, executed, did not touch, may be filled and stopped at kindergarten number one. There was some affair in this, but you have to check, the illumination it just doesn't come.
and allo! I can talk to the headquarters, I called the number as seriously as I could. There they shouted whether Vala or Zina, and a nice female voice also said "allo." Do you have a wire? I said with a slightly overwhelming voice.
It is. - said Val or Zina and it inspired optimism.
The Catana? I kept protecting.
Ordinary whole bowl. How much do you need?
- Yes, I just find out, - without finding any more words, I said and laid the phone. By the idea, it was shit. Why do they have wires in the kindergarten? So why? Not even a catch, but ordinary. The thoughts are confused, but the enlightenment should not be forgotten. And I started to think where this catch can’t be in principle, but it’s there. It was harder for me in any way than for Ivan, who went there without knowing where and brought it without knowing what. Besides that, I had a shipment to Magadan. The first thing that comes to mind is the cement plant. The company is large, one of two for the entire Far East. In principle, what could have been. But can catanka be used somehow in their production. For example, bind a cement. Or even in paper bags. Theoretically, this was not in the head, but in addition to theory, there is also practice. In practice, I’ve seen that it’s time to give up. But I took the risk again. And I picked up the telephone number of the supply department of that same cement factory. Do you have a catch? I immediately took the bull by the horns.
Six or eight millimeters? I asked business at the end.
-I have no difference between the one and the other, I can change the thread for something, - I also immediately translated the conversation into business. It is a pleasure to work with professionals.
Do you have nails? When I found out where I was from and who I was, I was asked a question.
You are full! What do you need? The process went. Everything formed quickly and in the morning I ordered a car from the wagon. Throwing in a crane a couple of tons of nails boxes for 70 and 100. The man who was talking to me on the phone, seeing two tons, just shrugged and widened his hand:
It’s in the warehouse, take as much as you can! There was Everest in the warehouse. From Katana. How far could it be thrown by a local crane.
I loaded her in exposition. The supply waist bended, not giving up on the load capacity of KraZ, and I wanted to shake more. A fight with the driver. He hardly translated the spirit, took a paper with a weight and went to write out a pass. Under the heavy eyes of the crane driver, the driver and the forklift. They couldn’t understand me, so I turned around the corner and started whispering and jumping.
If not a secret, do you have a catch? After drawing up the documents, I asked a colleague. The naked?! to
“Well, we tie her doors to the wagons before putting the seal,” he explained, “thirty kilograms a month goes away. In the order sheet, thirty took for three tons, here every month and the shuttle. We wanted to give it to the metal, and here you are.
And the nails, why? - I did not cease to be interested, suddenly they put their bags with cement to the floor in the cars. We could still change.
- And nail, so we have our departmental housing fund. We have to do repairs there.
-Then you definitely need paint, olive, frame, door and DVP with DSP. Will we change?
of course!
Tom has agreed. I had no problem with the catch for a year. But I think, if then that Val or Zina, said that she has no wire, would I call the cement factory? Where and how does the illumination come from?

When my dad learned about the huge queues for the new iPhone, he laughed at me. Because he once waited in line for his fixed phone for 10 years.